How can I get rid of this "I need to show him how successful I am" feeling?

[Anonymous]

Long story short: I was abused and manipulated by my ex for more than a year. He was making me feel small and worthless. It has damaged my mental and physical health. Now we broke up. It has been months since we last talked and I did not let him come back to my life. But I always feel anger when I think of all the things he said and did to belittle me and I just want to break this silence and show him what I have accomplished since I left him (not in a direct way).

I know it is childish but I can't help but feel this desire and it's torturing me from the inside.

PS: He knows absolutely nothing about me now.

Updates

+1 y

Anyone else?

[aficionado]

OMG! i can understand your situation, because I have been through something similar. My first ex was talking about marriage and kids with me, and after a month, she cheats on me with a 60 year old man because he had a lot more money than me (she was 20 at that time). Of course, I was really angry and bitter, but with time things got better.

This was over 5 years ago. A few months back, I bumped into her at a mall. She said 'hi'. I told her "excuse me, do i know you? I think you have mistaken me for someone else". Haha, the look on her face... priceless! :P

The best way to 'show' him your accomplishment, is to ignore him completely. This anger is affecting you, but he';s still happy. It takes time, but trust me, you'll be back up on your feet even before you realise it! :)

[aficionado]

Thanks for MHO! :)

[AmongTheApples]

You should use it as motivation to improve your life. The best revenge is success.

[KBob93]

I know... things catch up to you mentally. The only duress you feel is hindsight bias. Seek therapy, or PM me. I know exactly how you feel! If there's ANYTHING I can do to help you, let me know! <3

[Asker]

Thank you for your opinion.
How did you manage to go through it and let go of this feeling?

[KBob93]

I still deal with it. But, I think of all the good things as well in my life.