I'm having severe depression and it's getting worse; what can I do?

[awesometjgreen]

I barely slept last night, I went to bed worried and angry and I woke up angry. my mom broke my glasses by accident and that drove me overboard. She tried to make me go to school but I lost it because I couldn't take the embarrassment any more. I try my best to handle it but there's nothing I can do anymore. I've always been excluded, bullied and put down by the people around no matter where I go or what I do. everyone always tell me I have to believe in my self but to me that's like lying to myself and disregarding whatever it is that makes people dislike me. I'm always polite and people tell me I'm weak. I try my best in my classes but I always fall short and I always have a harder time than most of the other children in the class. I feel like the normal things teenagers do, I can't. everything I try to do I fail or it's never enough there's always something wrong. I was seeing a counselor but I think I need more because he was listening more than helping. I don't wanna take any medicine I just want guidance. I'm simply tired and my eyes hurt from crying. I took a short nap but it was awful and I'm tired. it's late and I'm laying up in bed tired and mad and I can't sleep.

[ThunderButt83]

figure out something that makes you feel happy, playing video games or watching a movie helps me a lot. i was bullied a lot when i was in school, and i was alone, and had no girlfriend. its just something we guys have to deal with in life.

[Saoirse_Nua]

For starter look up teen depression sites and forums for info, to read about other peoples' experiences to see if any of that helps. I would think about seeing a counsellor or a medical professional to discuss things.

[JenSCDC]

If the therapist you're seeing isn't helping you, then try another one.

[Saoirse_Nua]

Thanks for MHO

[awesometjgreen]

np, no one else really offered any help

[backonthelist]

Stop letting ur insecurities and emotions and self pity hurt you. Look for solutions.

[awesometjgreen]

I do but I just keep hitting dead ends. I want to try and improve the closest relationship I think I have right now but why should I stay if she's abusive and were not even together? then when I decide to just stay away the pain of loneliness comes back. when I try to make new friends I feel a step like I'm a step behind them every time

[backonthelist]

Moving forward looks like the only viable long term solution. (Loneliness isn't permanent unless u choose so)

[OrdinaryGentleman]

m8, please, gtfo of your house and run.

[awesometjgreen]

what the fuck do you want

[OrdinaryGentleman]

I want you to run. Right now.
www.allprodad.com/.../...-up-emotions-1000x570.jpg
this is you.
If you are truly on the edge then express how you feel. Running or punching a bag helps you release energy.

[awesometjgreen]

I can't do that shit

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Why not?

[awesometjgreen]

because were staying with a friend and they're house is small and in a bad neighborhood plus it's in the middle of the night

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Uh, so just do an at home workout.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

I think you are missing the point im making, i can't hold your hand, if i do then you will only take it for granted... rather i give you the tools to make yourself feel better, the first step is to find an outlet for your anger to be expressed better.
You don't need to do that right now but rather set a time and date then start.