How would you go around telling your girlfriend she needs to lose weight?

[Anonymous]

How can you tell her she needs to exercise and get in shape without hurting her or without making her feel insecure about herself?

[mdublin]

I suggest that you deal with this one delicately in order to avoid hurting her feelings. I personally would not say anything directly. I would talk about myself and how I felt like I had let myself go and wanted to exercise and eat healthier. I would engage in activties and invite my partner to go with me. Start eating healthier, if she is the cook in the home request healthier meals for yourself. Talk about how much better you feel and how much more energy you have after a few weeks of exercising and eating better. Provide her with genuine compliments when you notice something good about her body. Many women who gain weight through their relationships have either become comfortable or do not feel/ forget that they are beautiful. A lot of men forget to tell their women compliments when they get comfortable in the relationship. Improve her self-esteem and she will probably come around, make her feel unattractive and she will probably eat more and the first man who gives her a compliment she will be gone.

[aquanetta]

Unfortunately, I don't think there is a way to avoid gettin' your gal in a huff. I have been on the recieving end of a situation like this and it was sucky. But I can tell you in the long run I was happy he said something. I had gained enough weight to the point where my pants were tight. I honestly feel that had he not said something, I would have let myself go more.

Look at it this way, if you're noticing a weight gain odds are she's already aware ( ie clothes not fitting properly, bad moods. . . ) Also, I think an honest man is worth so much more. If you'd really rather not say anything, do more active activities together. That could help with motivation.

[sarahz]

invite her to go to the gym with you.

if you aren't working out, there's no reason why she should either.

Sometimes if you are just honest (but not blunt) then maybe she'd appreciate that.

There's a difference between: "Babe, loose some weight. The crab shack down the street will attack you, thinking you're a whale" and "Babe, I'd really like to get in shape with you so that by next spring, we can really enjoy ourselves during the season. We can be each others motivation and support. What do you think about it?"

^^^^ That's exactly what I would like to hear. I finally lost weight, and it was only because of support and encouragement, not pressure. :)

[redmenace]

I agree with the other girls. Odds are, she already knows she has gained weight. Here are some subtle ways you can go nudge her into losing the weight:

1. Start working out and eating right yourself. When she sees how good you are taking care of YOUR body, she'll most likely want to take care of hers too. This is true for most girls.

2. When watching something on TV, compliment a girl who looks good (not in a hound dog kind of way). Say something like, "wow, I like her abs" or "I like her figure. She looks stunning." She'll pick up on it. Just don't overdo this, once or twice is more than enough.

3. Last resort: Ask (pay) one of your friends to comment on her weight gain. If she's like me, that'll give her an incentive to lose it. (lol)

[heywat]

there is no way! the best way to bring it up would be to mention that you want ot get a gym membership together because you feel that it would be a new adventurous thing in a relationship. I also don't knwo how much she weighs or any of her personal lifestyle choices so I cnt give as much help!

[scfranci]

lo lyeah do not I repedo not tell her that! lol

you can say you wanna loose some weight and ask her to help you or try to exercise together and encourage her to eat well. You can also find some health articles and share them with her telling her that you found these interesting.

[Anonymous]

well I think most girls are going to be offended no matter how nicely you put it. However, I can't help but wonder--is she REALLY overweight? like what is her height/weight? or are you just being picky. If she is technically a "healthy" weight then you might just come across as an ass if you ask her to lose any.

[SavannahBanana]

If you cook for her, you could cook really healthy foods for her.

You yourself could join a gym and ask her to join with you.

Or even better, say you want to try dieting and ask her to do it with you so you have moral support.

[buttercup5]

Don't tell her she needs to do anything. Just suggest more active things when you two spend time together. If she doesn't get the hint, talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel, but like I said, don't tell her what to do or what she should do.