So, I just joined a jiu-jitsu gym two weeks ago. Paid $400 upfront for three months and a free gi. (One month would've been like $300 with the cost of the gi, so this was cheaper.) But to be honest, I've only gone twice. I feel so drained and exhausted after work. And my stamina is so low, I can barely wrestle another opponent in the times I did go.This isn't the first time this has happened, too. I used to do kickboxing before COVID started shutting things down late last year around here, when all the vaccine mandate crap was going on. We all to be triple vaccinated in order to go to gyms and I wasn't having that. So from November to March in Korea, no one who wasn't triple-vaccinated to go to gyms, which means I had to stop going to kickboxing classes. But even before then, it felt like a CHORE to go. I wanted to go to lose weight and improve my fight skills, but I just didn't feel like going at all. I still went, however. I just had to drag myself there. It wasn't fun and I had no energy there.The jiu-jitsu class is even worse, cause I can't even auto-pilot my way through jiu-jitsu like I can pounding the bag at the kickboxing gym. I REALLY want to be stronger. Especially to make up for being physically weak due to stature (as in, "because I'm short"). I've done martial arts for years. I did Korean boxing back in early 2021. In 2019, I did MMA. And from 2015 to 2018, I did boxing twice a week. And honestly, I've NEVER liked any of them. I just feel like it's an obligation that I have to be an expert-fighting bad-ass, as a man. Especially considering how short I am.So I paid $400 for a jiu-jitsu gym I never want to go back to again. I have almost no desire to actually do it, other than feeling like "I need to." That I'd be a pus sy if I don't become at least a blue belt in jiu-jitsu, MMA, or something similar. My heart really isn't in it. What do I do?
Thanks.
How do I find inspiration to go to the (martial arts) gym when I don't feel like going?
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Anonymous
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Is it that you don’t want to go to jiu-jitsu because you’re tired and drained after work... or because you don’t really enjoy jiu-jitsu?
I’m not one that necessarily feels that jiu-jutsu has to be “fun.” You’re learning to smash people (well, hopefully you’re learning that), break their limbs and choke them unconscious.
Really it’s a question of motivation. What are you trying to get out of jiu-jitsu? A black belt? Whoa boy. You’re looking at years and years of commitment and study. Maybe you just want to be a blue belt. Okay. Nothing wrong with that. Basically in jiu-jitsu after blue belt you’re really training to beat other guys who know jiu-jitsu. That’s the sort of dirty little secret about the art.
If you want to learn jiu-jitsu for self defense, sadly very few schools teach it anymore. Everything is geared towards competitions, submission wrestling, or MMA.
Honestly man I’ve been doing jiu-jitsu off and on for most of my life. I’ve literally trained with guys that were world champions and who fight professionally. Knowing jiu-jitsu really is a bit of a super power. It’s almost comical how easy it is to control people who don’t know anything about it. It’s definitely a nice tool to have in your back pocket.
"Is it that you don’t want to go to jiu-jitsu because you’re tired and drained after work... or because you don’t really enjoy jiu-jitsu?"
Both. Like it's something I really WANT to like, but don't. It sounds so bad-ass and useful. My current motivation to go is maybe 6% out of 100. And if I didn't have a job, I'd go two hours every day. But I do have a job. They also aren't open on weekends, either.
Inspiration? your own goals. So you have to set goal (s) that require effort and then focus on getting to them. You have to get into a routine & go at the same time & on the same days over and over again. You have to focus on keeping to your goals even when it's not easy or fun. It trains your mind & gets easier over time.
If I'm not wrong, it is common for people to be tired without much physical activity, but I think you mean you are mentally drained? Might it be that you don't sleep well? If it's sleep-related this will have a big impact and you would first need to fix that.
Secondly, have you tried sparring? Isn't it also a worthy form of fighting?
Some possible inspirations can be if you personally know or get to know somebody who attends one of the dojos. There may even be a group or page somewhere on the internet of Facebook. It's said that the company we keep influences us... some friendship can be good or at least accquaintance.
I am mentally drained and have no enthusiasm to go. Usually somewhat hungry by this time too, as I only eat once a day and that's at 10:30/11:00, which is after I'd go to the gym. But I usually can stay up 6-7 hours after finishing work.
You can have a small energy bar before going.. the time it takes to reach well let it digest a bit plus if you wait half hour before leaving home... why not?
400 ONLY TO GO TWICE HOW DARE. I think you need to find the fun in the martial art or Any activity to keep doing them!
When I do activities I don't do them because of the end goal. I do them because I enjoy it! JOY! That is where we differ. I can have a SUCKY EXHAUSTING LOOOONG DAY at work and I don't feel like going to a gym, but I know that Once I dooo I will feel great. I enjoy it! I am always relieved that I went and that feeling surprises me to this day!
How do I enjoy something I suck at and don't usually have the physical or mental energy for after a full day of dealing with bratty (Korean) children all day long?
You can't expect to kill it on your very first day, of course you're gonna suck! You're going to get leg locked! Your arm will be taken! Your neck! Tap out and try again! You're going to be huffing and puffing! Maybe just from the warmup alone! Whatever DA CASE!! YOU WILL SUCKKKH. That's why they teach that skill, So you can learn it and not suck anymore if you keep doing it! OOO how old are the kids?
How about you make a deal with yourself to go for 3 months, that's what you paid for and if you still don't like it, you leave it. In this way, you made the effort, didn't waste your money, and you might get into it. If not, then you tried. Despite of what Yoda says, there is such thing as trying :)
What was your motivation to start it at all? What was your why? Real why, not some vague "lose weight"
By the way, if you ever read Mark Manson, there is no shame in giving up what you don't want. He brought up the example that he wanted to become a musician. But after years of not doing anything, feeling guilty about not practising, he had to admit, he only wanted the idea of being a musician, and not the hours of practising each day and all the work. It's liberating.
Damn, man I would be losing my mind if I dropped that much to not even go. There are days with my gym membership where I don't even want to go, but I power through by have ing my gear in my car to haul to the gym after work, otherwise I know I won't go if I go anywhere else prior.
The other motivator for me is that physical fitness is key to one of my jobs. My family has had some known heart health issues later in life and I want my heart to be as strong as it can. Plus, since I am a short guy as a whole, I need to have some level of strength to hold my own and stand out should shit hit the fan.
I hold a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu as well as highly trained in Hapkido. Physically it can be demanding, but what wears me out is the mental discipline involved. Not everybody can do it. The thing is though, the confidence that comes from doing this and the clearness of thought is worth all the gold in the world. I also hope you are doing this for the right reason. I have seen many people both male and female asked to leave because their motivations were not right. Oh, and it's a lifetime commitment.
Hmmm. . . I'd say you should specify your goals a bit more because I suspect you have only a vague idea of what they are at the moment. For example you say you want to be "strong" and yet you keep mentioning things like MMA and other martial arts. Those are much more about VERY specific skills than they are about "strength." I'm not saying it's not good to do those things, but you need to be specific as to your goal. If you want to get strong, you should be lifting. If you want to be a skilled fighter train jiu-jitsu. If you want to lose weight you do other things. But before coming up with a gameplan, I'd suggest you spend a fair bit of time thinking about what your goals REALLY are, writing them down, reading them over, revising as appropriate and boiling them down to the ~3 most important goals you have. Then you can build a plan you can be excited about executing. Because if you're not excited about it (as you've seen) it won't happen.
Sounds like you need to find another way to exercise. Knowing how to fight is a valuable skill, however it’s not mandatory. If your heart isn’t in it better to do something different.
many times I don;t feel like going to the gym. I really have to tell myself that all thestiffness and soreness I am feeling will go away once I warm up and start my routine. I am not always successful.
Wait until my Dojo comes, it teaches actual combat unlike the “dojos” now. The only luck you’ll find for finding a real Master like Oogway is a/the place it originates
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