Should I feel upset that guys don’t like me due to me being fat, do I have the right to be upset?

[Anonymous]

That’s not me, but I’m kind of like that.
Im practically 230 pounds and suffer from PCOS.

I do have a bit of an eating disorder as well. And I’ve been bullied all my life because of obesity as well. Do I have the right to be upset that guys who liked me when I was normal , don’t like me now that I’m obese?___________What should I do? And loosing weight IS AN OPTION but as you can see there it would take longer and be more difficult than the regular person. Should I forgive these guys?

[Nawlins34]

You have a right to feel however you want to about that scenario, no one can tell you how to feel nor should they invalidate your feelings.

That said, I would caution going by emotions because when guys weigh this decision, feelings have nothing to do with it.

It is a logical choice for humans (nevermind just men) to pick the best option in their hand.

Feelings/Emotions don't hide the fact that as far as the dating pool is concerned,

1.) You are competing against women who are not obese, do not have PCOS and don't have an eating disorder.

2.) Some of those women are skinny now, but before were obese themselves and CHOSE NOT to make "loosing weight" an option, but mandatory.

Circling back, feel how you want to feel. By your own words, losing weight is an OPTION for you.

You understand options quite well, so understand men choosing the best option for them.

What should you do? redirect your focus on yourself. Lose weight because you are doing it for YOURSELF. Your attraction level rising in the eyes of men is a by-product; not the objective.

I hope I provided clarity, be safe and good luck.

[Thatbaldguy]

If you’re kinda like that then in my opinion you are gorgeous. Just my opinion. I find plus size women beautiful. Especially 220+ pounds. That being said my opinion is biased I guess. You should not feel upset. We can’t control what others say, do, think, feel what have you. But you can control you. If someone doesn’t like you because of your body they don’t deserve to be in your life and you shouldn’t waste your time, energy what have you on them and definitely don’t let them live rent free in your head by being upset that they don’t like you.

[shaysh87]

PCOS is usually caused by insulin resistance and genetic influences.

Losing weight is not as hard as people think it is. Our media, youtubers all like to complicate things. The only thing you need to do is to lower your insulin levels by cutting out all carbs or going low carb. Then eat 75% vegetables. Let 15% be very lean meat. 10% be fat. Do this for 6 months and you will see results. I have been doing this for 2 weeks and I already lost 10 pounds.

I have seen some people reverse PCOS through managing stress, getting enough sleep, cutting out carbs.

Its not impossible to find a man as a big girl. Some guys like big. But not many. I know for sure there are guys out there who prefer slightly chubby but not obese.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Some guys actually greatly prefer heavier women.


You have the right to feel however you feel, but don’t throw yourself under the bus over some guys who like to fuck broomsticks.

[Phoenix98]

You have a right to be upset about your situation but you should still make an effort to get into shape and get healthy at the very least for the sake of your personal health.

just because it’s harder doesn’t mean you should just say fuck it and let yourself get bigger and bigger. Because that mindset will eventually kill you or result in a lot of health problems down the line.

It’s totally possible as others have stated to lose the weight you just gotta be willing to do it.

as for guys not being attracted to you everyone has their preferences you can no more be mad at them for theirs then men can be for yours.

[Honesttguy]

Should i be upset if people dont like me? No you shouldn't.
If you feel upset then it means you dont like being fat yourself basically. Its simple as that.
Is it okey of it bothers you in some way sure, ofc is gonna affect you emotionally, its how we are programmed by nature. Just dont make big deal about it.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you have a right in your mind to feel that way but to openly express it, no. It’s better to push past that, to accept why things are the way they are now. You’re saying it would take longer to lose the weight than it would for a “normal” person, so than rather than take that time whether it’s a year or two you’re willing to live your life like this for the rest of your days. I can see how cute you look w a gorgeous face like that. But me telling you isn’t going to change what you decide to do.

[Anonymous]

Attractiveness is often associated with health. The PCOS you mentioned... the missing link is probably iodine deficiency. The pancreas requires sufficient iodine in order to have proper insulin sensitivity. You are also likely to be deficient in D3 as well.

If guys that liked you when you weighed less, no longer like you when you weigh more then for the most part they were only interested in your on a superficial physical level. But the sort of guys that look beneath the surface... they are invisible to most women and probably to you too.

[Anonymous]

there are guys out who prefer dating bigger girls and some might even want to date you if you have a personality or attitude they like.

but for the average person by reduce or cut out foods and drinks that have high amounts of artificial or added sugar and salt from their diet. it can cause them to slowly lose some weight over time. since to much sugar in a persons diet turns to fat if not used and to much salt in a persons diet often makes them retain water. most healthy foods and drinks still have sugar and salt in them which can help balance a persons natural levels so they don't end up in the hospital however. staying active and exercising when able can help to speed up the process to some degree. also a good idea to prep and cook your own meals when possible so you know what is in them.

although with your medical condition you may want to speak with your doctors, fitness expects or dietitians before making any long term charges.

[slatyb]

You have the right o be upset over anything at all. Forgive them for what? Bullying you or no longer being attracted to you?

[Asker]

No longer being attracted i guess

[ArtemisSilver]

Channel your upset feelings into actions that better your situation.

You don't have to be a model, but I doubt you feel good like that.

It's not as simple as put down the fork like some idiots say though I get it.

Consider a lap band surgery and work on better habits.

[LimitedBenefits101]

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[jasco]

Honestly I am sorry but you can be upset as much as you want to be. They don't like you because of how you look. Yes its shallow but that's just how they are. If you don't wanna lose weight, than that's on you. Its your choice regardless of how difficult it may be for you to do it. So no you don't have the right to be upset because someone else doesn't like you.

[whiskeyontherocks]

It’s ok to be upset with your situation and you should be respected.
As long as you’re not taking it out on other people or guys that don’t prefer thick women it’s not there fault just like it’s not yours. Well there are women that have similar issues and maintain a healthy weight but it’s hard. If you due start feeling insecure than I’d suggest having someone to check in with maybe even therapy.

[mark000h]

Try a daily routine of walking for an hour and avoid unhealthy foods with sugar and high fat. You'll probably lose 30 or 40 pounds just from doing those 2 things. Also, there's some guys who enjoy larger women.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Well don’t , men CAN like women for their personalities too not just their looks plus some men ( including myself) I’ve dated BBWs. So it’s understandable to doubt yourself when you look in the mirror but trust me, they are men out there for you

[JohnK123]

I mean no not at all it’s not ur fault
now if u just ate sugar on the daily and never worked out then that’s on u
But guys don’t have to like everyone just to be “inclusive”

[andreasderjuengere]

Does being upset make any change in your life?
You can't force people to like you.

[msc545]

You need to be far more upset about your medical condition and get some professional help as soon as you can.

[Ms_Facesitter]

No. I mean you can but being upset won't solve anything. Losing weight is an option, but it's a good one. It's healthier, you don't have to do it for others. Look at yourself and not the guys.

[exitseven]

You need to seek medical help. There may be a fix for your condition. You need to do this not only for your social life but for your health as well.

[Juxtapose]

If you look hot enough then yeah you're still going to get guys despite your fat but it's not a good look in general for most people.

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

Yes, but that just means you will find a guy who truly loves you for your personality and that type of love lasts forever.

[shanshu]

No girl fancys me because I'm fat but I just don't think about anyone fancying me anymore and just get on with my life

[Fuentes]

You should take that pain and put it into excercising

[wiltonaimes]

Yes you do but they hold a right to their prefrences

[Anonymous]

lose weight
lose weight
lose weight

what a waste of time

do it or leave

[Guy13]

Wow, that’s a serious medical situation

[athlete_7]

Nah some men like it thicc too

[Unfortunateguy27]

yeah im butt hurt girls dont like me