How do you mentally deal with somebody body shaming you?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You fight them . And I do mean physically. I don’t mean to insight violence or promote violence. But as a person who’s been bullied extensively, and bullied all throughout school. Body shamed all throughout school. Fatshamed all throughout my life. YOU FIGHT THEM. 🥊 If they don’t seem to respect you with you calling them out or ignoring them. It’s time to pull out any sort of weapon, firsts and so on.  Animals in the wild spell “ respect me ” with their natural weapons. Either they have jaws, claws, poison, venom, antlers 🦌, spikes.. and so on. If you don’t have any medical issues or surgeries, it’s time to fight. My Dad told a story that woke me up like never before. He said that he was the youngest of 3 brothers. So he was the 3rd. And because he was so young and naive and ignorant. His 2 brothers would pick on him and would step all over him, and would play jokes on him, they’d play tricks on him. And this would go on year after year after year. By age 12 he said he’s had enough of it. He got into it with the eldest. The first son. And he beat his AZZ so bad that his 2 brothers never again saw him as a target to mess with.🎯 If people are messing with you. It’s clear that they see you as some sort of target. And when the predators see you as prey, it’s time to pull out your claws. Of course however you can also take videos of them being bullies, you can call the cops on them. You can tell their boss or something. You can sue them. But nothing beats a good fight to SPELL “ respect me ”.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's very painful and can have a terrible negative affect on your mental health

When I was 14 , these two guys my age were walking past me. One said 'she's hot'. His friend said 'eww she's not. She's fat' .

Another time, when I was only 8 years old, there was some candy in my house. I thought it was mine. As I was eating it, my dad grabbed it out my hand and said 'you greedy fat pig, that's not for you'

I wasn't really a fat kid either. Just a little but more weight on me than my peers. Bodyshamimg affected me so much mentally and emotionally , that when I was 16 I joined a gym and became obsessed with having the 'perfect body'. A body that was accepted by society standards. I became toned and in good shape. Then I started being bodyshamed for being fit and slim.. People I knew would say I looked dreadful. and anorexic. I wasn't. I was just toned and in shape.

So now I don't care what people say about my body. I eat healthy and go to the gym. But I do it for myself. Morso for my mental health. After a workout I always feel in a better frame of mind.

In life, no matter what you look like, what you do or say, how you dress or who you are, you'll be judged for it by someone. So the most important thing is to work on having a strong mindset to stop other people's opinions from destroying you inside.

xJeremyx · Accepted Answer

1. Why are they shaming me? Is there a legitimate reason for them to say negative things about me? If yes, what exactly did they see that I needed improvement on? How could I improve?

2. If there is no reason for them to be shaming me, could it be that there was a misunderstanding that caused them to think I was doing something that is not right? How could I prevent such misunderstandings in the future?

3. If I really cannot find valid reasons for (1) and (2), then I just ignore their comments and move on with my day.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Accepted Answer

People made fun of me in all my school years, even teachers would make fun of me one teacher John Conte said, I may be ready for the gym, but it wasn't ready for me and another gym teacher, Micky Davis made smart remarks to me about my weight, he said that I looked like I gain some way after I almost kill myself losing weight I tell you these teachers should have been turned into the school principal or have me slit their throat with a switch-blade knife sorry I'm so pissed off.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

What I've done in the past is just either tell them to knock it off or never speak to them again. If they're in a place where it's impossible to imagine someone else wants a specific body type, there's not a lot that someone like me - someone they deem stupid for having and doing nothing about said body type - is going to do to convince them. They've already "other"-ed me, they don't see me as human, and me trying to convince them to not be an asshole will only provide them a temporary guilt at being called out, not make any actual changes to their mindset. I usually just leave them to be on their own and trust that, in time, they will learn to like themselves enough to stop hating and judging other people for things that have nothing to do with them.

Anonymous · Answer

That is easy. I am not going to destroy my body and become disabled and unable to feed my family and take care of myself.

You are worried about superficial things, while I am worried about being healthy. You are burdened on the healthcare system and disability checks away from people that need it. I take care of myself, I don't have to live with pain, and I don't feel depressed.

I am not trying to escape my reality; I want to be my best because I have the internal drive to do it. I am not doing this because of what others think about me, and you do that is why you are never successful.

nitsuj86 · Answer

You just have to get to a place where you don't give a fuck anymore. Usually around your late 20s or so.

If you don't care about or know this person that well, who gives a fuck. Just ignore them, they will stop if you never give them the time of day.

If you do care about the person... well are they right? Did they call you fat, because you are fat? Be honest with yourself. If it's something you want to change, and can. Then give it a try. If you don't agree, or can't do anything about it, then tell them it hurts your feelings, and please stop. Pretty simple.

dennyd89 · Answer

Remember that body shaming comes from a place of insecurity, no human being is as perfect as they seem to act and those who shame are most likely projecting their own insecueirities on to you, live your life for yourself and not to appease or please other people, life is too short to be concerned by the ignorant opinions of another mortal, we will all get old fat skinny saggy etc etc wither and regardless of how we look so remember everyones beauty will be taken away so focus on loving yourself your health and living for your own hapiness.

xJayleenx · Answer

At first, it used to hurt me a lot in ways that you wouldn’t imagine (when I was younger). But now at 21 I stopped caring because I realized that in my life people have always judged me. When I was younger and skinny people would judge me for not having boobs even though I just hid them, and people would call me skinny but now that I’m very thick people still judge me saying I’m too fat and they make fun of my butt for being big when back then i would’ve gotten made fun of for not having enough butt. Basically just realize that people will judge you no matter what whether you’re fat or skinny, curvy or boxy people always find a way to judge women.

curiouswomman · Answer

Hi, honey. How are you? First and foremost, take deep breaths.

As someone who has dealt with body shaming all her life, allow me to share a lesson I’ve learned about dealing with detractors: “DO NOT GIVE THEM POWER OVER YOU.” They’re negativity will creep into you and slowly eat you up if you let them in. Meditate/pray/take time to condition yourself, your psyche as this change should start with you. To empower yourself more, please listen to: “Can’t Take That Away” by Mariah Carey and “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera.

Remember: you are beautiful and you are worth it.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

If it's true, by admitting it.
If they noticed, then so did I and they're not wrong. Because I had already been honest with myself, their words didn't hurt.
If they had ill intent then I'd brush it off and counter with their obvious character flaw.
If it's from a friend then I'd make a harsh joke right back on them with a smile. If it's clearly no joke then I'll turn serious and ask if they want to start a gym-group or something.

Pyrofox · Answer

Simply take the words as motivation and get off your ass and start working towards getting healthier. EARN the respect. If you let your body image get the better of you then you're accepting the shame in which case now your earning the insults. once your healthy and fit and looking better than ever then you can be the one with the last laugh when you can laugh when they try to ask you out. Cause you got your life together. And say to their face you're way out of their league.

molonski2 · Answer

If they were shaming me it would be for a reason and I would set about to make change , obesity is a massive killer and must never be simply " accepted " so any action that get someone at least beginning is a good thing.

Never ever just accept that " This is how it is " , Id get into shape from that moment.

Etoirty · Answer

In no way am I saying this is going to work for everyone, but I see it as someone rudely speaking the truth when it has come to me. I do have weight I could stand to lose. When I felt bad about what they said I never made progress. When I realized the truth and figured out ways I could have fun while losing weight and eating healthier, I got better. I'm still on my way, but I'm better (both physically and mentally) than I was before.

ElGato31 · Answer

I don't really deal with body shaming. I admit my faults. I don't lie to myself and I don't let others lie to me "you are beautiful at every size" etc BS.

If somebody thinks I'm fat/ugly/idiotic, I let them think whatever they want. As my grandpa always said "don't fight a mental duel with unarmed people."

RavVid · Answer

Guy or girl. I presume girl from the pic. If a girl insults you like this I don't think you have any obligation to remain polite. Insult her back, preferably on something she can't change.

Winston Churhill had a good come back when a woman criticized him for intoxication. "Madam tomorrow I will be sober but you will still be ugly". Along those lines.

Sam2021 · Answer

Nobody is perfect there is a way of saying things. I have been body shamed my whole life being a healthy girl. Looked after myself nothing wrong with me. I look back at photos now thinking why did others body shame
Me.. its their insecurities. I tell em off now, when your young, as a kid, i didn't know better.

Be happy with yourself, you only live once.

genericname85 · Answer

well take a good hard look at yourself. is what they are shaming you for true or no? if it's true, just go with it.

for example if you're chubby, and they shame you for being fat, just don't even take offense. just say "yeah i know i'm fat but i'm working on it".

if what they say isn't true, just laugh it off and tell them how full of shit they are.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Point out their flaws in return. If you go low, I’m goin lower FUCK THAT

Pinz89 · Answer

It dosent really affect me. I've been body shamed and I didn't really care. I always say you can attack my body but one thing I wouldn't allow someone to attack is my character. One day your body will turn into sag however, that character wouldn't.

XHopelessRomanticX · Answer

If someone body shames me for being fat, I would agree with them because I am fat. I know what I am and what I am not. I can put in all the effort in the world to achieve a flat stomach or I can have pie.

opheeowlscout · Answer

I like to reaffirm myself with my own compliments. I rarely get body shamed, but I do see people my size get teased and I feel sensitive whenever it happens...

But instead of just calling myself all the ugly stuff, I see what God gave me and look at my entire self. Sure, I'm no model or anything, but I don't have to be. I'm more suited to be a soft homely girlfriend a guy can keep and show his family.

SunnyRS · Answer

Make fun of yourself, I do that a lot to myself earlier I was very slim so people used to make fun of me, but I started cracking jokes on myself that way I took away there mode of entertainment and they stopped shaming me.
And on the other I kept working on my physique.
I can now say that I am fitter than before

Anonymous · Answer

Simple. You grow the fuck up and move on.

“Waaah someone body shamed me! Waaah!”

I grew up being called a fat ass. Then I lost weight! Now I’m no longer called a fat ass. And who would have known I magically started getting laid once I lost weight and worked out.

hahahmm · Answer

Laugh it off BUT if I actually am out of shape I'd get into shape asap. There's this thing called taking personal responsibility. There's way too many victims in today's world who blame their issues on others.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Ignore them, move on and potential block them if they continue it.

This of course depends on if they are trying to be helpful, such as my mother sometimes or if they are simply being mean and rude about it.

LivDev · Answer

I've never been overweight but I had a teeny tiny butt in HS and part of college. I don't think I really got shamed for it but I was kinda self-conscious sometimes.

So I hit the gym. I don't have that problem anymore.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I don't care - I would be grateful they find my unattractive - it saves me from dating a jerk who thinks it's okay to mock people for stupid reasons.

Summeroflove · Answer

Well. Nobody has a right to do that. If it’s a online troll. Block them and just realize they don’t really matter and they enjoy hurting others.  In real life tell them to STOP

Juxtapose · Answer

More like how do I even care? It's a stranger or somebody who's clearly not my friend, why should I listen to them?

I have turned on plenty of men and women, the opinions of some nobody means nothing to me.

Sour-rose · Answer

Just know they could be dead tomorrow and lose  their  body. And with that, I still have mine so I can make it better if I choose to.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

When I was overweight, I often body-shamed myself.  I felt it was correct & necessary to do that to myself.  I'm glad I did because nobody dared to do that to me.

BagoH · Answer

What exactly was said to you and in what tone? If someone said it out of genuine worry about your health then give it a thought maybe you have somewhere to improve? If they're just being a negative ass ignore them and move on :)

NewsReader · Answer

Laugh because it means you look better than them. They are trying to tear us down in order to lift themselves.

Agape93 · Answer

I don't ascribe value to it. I don't care if someone thinks I'm attractive or ugly.

CubsterShura · Answer

I don't. I listen with one ear and out the other. People who matter don't mind and people who mind don't matter.

Labokachulaa · Answer

I remind myself that everyone's entitled to their opinion, and that their perception of me is not my reality.

OatmealMuffin · Answer

Look at them as if they're some kind of oddity. They're trying to get a rise out of you, so don't give it to them.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I may feel bad, then realize it's really about them. I try to take what good I can from it. Online, if I've had enough I block.

Guy13 · Answer

Don’t alter your original design it will just make one look weirder as the flow is disturbed and the whole of the person is off.

Anonymous · Answer

I give them a taste of their own medicine. A classmate once said to me, "I hate bleach skin!" And I retorted, "At least my whole ass can fit on the chair. Are those cheeks, or are they watermelons?"

sheenagwapa · Answer

in my country it's very common for family members to joke that you're fat... my father would cat me fat and i'm fine with it tbh.

Justneedtokno · Answer

Are they family? Are they somebody close to you because you don’t have to deal with them at all. If they are in those categories, you can correct them defend yourself get you a therapist

domenico07 · Answer

Tell them whats wrong with their body and give a snarky grin afterwards. Works every time. Dude picked on me for being skinny and I in turn told him that his hairline is worse than a Friday night hangover.

OddBeMe · Answer

Firstly that’s a horrible family member. But really, life is horrid shitshow. So this might be the time to learn the best lesson: all you can control is your response. Don’t let them control you.

daskapitalllll · Answer

think like that " who is he/she? why should i care what he/she said?" just claim yourself and know everything about your body.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I'd say bite my ass, cuz apparently you think I need to lose some...

Nikki1989 · Answer

You don't. They are people not worth dealing with.

Account · Answer

I do not care. It is their problem, not mine, it doesn't affect me. How could it ever?

Potteplante · Answer

Stopped caring about what others had to say and focused on myself.

CrimsonAngel09 · Answer

This mainly happens online, so thankfully I can block them.

aoihewgf · Answer

If it's in your control to fix the issue, like weight issue, then maybe use it as motivation to get your ass in the gym.

loveslongnails · Answer

Why do care what someone else thinks about your body? Tell them "who the fuck asked you?"

krin_m · Answer

Get away from them, they are not worth your time and energy!

ChiTown33 · Answer

Consider the source. I really don't much care what most people think about me. And if somebody is shaming me it's thier issue not mine.

Blurr090 · Answer

You can't change anyone's mind, nor can you please everyone. Just try to be the best version of yourself you can be. If you take good care of your body then there's nothing to be ashamed of.

lucasnabizada · Answer

You prove them wrong by getting a hotter body than them...

Anonymous · Answer

you don't allow it to get to you mentally by addressing them immediately that that is not okay to say to someone.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I don't because I just simply wouldn't care.

Fireguy17 · Answer

just picture what they will look like after 3 kids.

Heterosketero · Answer

You mentally work on yourself, nothing has changed.

Anonymous · Answer

My husband is the only person who has ever body shamed me and when he says it he’s normally just being honest.

Mangospacho · Answer

Mentally, I make sure my brain is nowhere near their brain so that they can’t further shame me.

douride2 · Answer

The best thing to do is ignore them. If they don't get a reaction they lose.

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