Is it rude to tell someone they lost weight?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I don’t know, it’s a tricky one.

It seems like a nice thing to do when people have put in the work to lose weight and be healthy, but we don’t always know the situation and if it’s a healthy one.

Weight is not something I comment on or think we should really comment on in general, I think making a comment saying someone looks great in general/is glowing/looks happy is a much better way to phrase things.

People keep mentioning my partner’s weight loss to him but he actually has an eating disorder, and although he says the comments bother him I believe he likes to hear it and it fuels the eating disorder more. People lose weight due to grief, sickness, etc. so I would just avoid.

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

Yes and no.
Yes, if you say omg you lost weight! Are you sick? Or are you on drugs?

No, if they are actually working out to lose all that weight and you say, omg you lost weight! You look great! Have you been working out?

This is based on what people said to me after my 40 pound weight loss

Paul_in_Indy · Accepted Answer

It’s definitely something you should avoid. Why would you want to? What are you hoping to communicate? It tells the person that you care what size they are. Do you want that person wondering what you are thinking whenever you are around? Worrying that they might be too heavy and you might be thinking about what to say to them next? Do you want them to avoid seeing you if they feel like they have gained weight?

I assume you wouldn’t want someone saying to you, “I’ve noticed that you are fat. That must be unpleasant.” …because that’s probably what they will hear when you comment on their weight loss.

SlothySlob · Accepted Answer

It really depends on context.

If you take what was said by itself, especially when it's a comment like, "You lost weight, you look better now", it would imply that before when you had extra weight, you looked worse. In some way, you could argue that the commenter was being rude.

Anonymous · Answer

No. But you don't know what the person receiving the comment might think. There's people that want to lose weight and they got there, that's an achievement. There's people that lose weight because they get sick, that might be a loss for them, as well for people who try to gain weight or recover from an ed. There's people that lose weight because something changed in their lifestyle and they don't care.

You can say whatever you want, just be careful tho, and also, we are in 2023 and you might be called racist, transphobic and fatphobic just for that.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

If saying that was meant to compliment someone, it isn't rude.  I wouldn't think it's rude either if the person who said it was actually concerned.

horatiohornblower · Answer

It’s rude if you don’t know the reason. If you know they are dieting. I’d say it is fine. Otherwise you don’t know if the reason is health issues or money issues.

For instance. When I directed and lost a lot of weight. It was nice for people to mention it and compliment it. When I lost a lot more due to ulcerative colitis. Always feeling sick and emaciated. I did not like hearing about it.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

Depends on the person you're talking to. If you knew they were on a diet because they needed to lose weight, then that might not be rude. But as for the opposite, I'd just be a bit more careful because as an underweight person myself, I wouldn't like to be told constantly I've lost weight when I know I've lost a lot and need to gain back.

smashleyy · Answer

I don’t know. I think it’s best to just not comment on it. I started developing a eating disorder about a year ago and comments about me losing weight just pushed me further into it. If you know that weight loss is a goal for them and you know they are working out/dieting then maybe the comments are wanted

JJ092003 · Answer

Depends on your relationship with the person. If you know them well then no it isn't rude.

Minahh · Answer

Yes because it could due to health issues, pls just don't comment on people's bodies unless it's a compliment

Emiliamazing · Answer

That may be appropriate if the individual has noted to their friendship and family circle that they were trying to lose weight or live a healthier lifestyle. A generalized complement regarding how nice they look may be appropriate as well.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

My mom says it’s okay for somebody less attractive and bigger then you to say that but wrong for somebody very skinny and fit to say that cause it could be seen as gloating they are slimmer then you.

welcomemen · Answer

I think it depends on the person. Somebody who is really self conscious or insecure about their appearance might find it insulting and hurtful. A person with high self esteem might not care that much.

TrueConfection · Answer

Yes. Just a simple, "You look great," is far more appropriate and appreciated. If the person doesn't look good, then say nothing.

DubiousIntentions · Answer

I wouldn't think so.  I think it would be ruder not to notice. Telling them gives them confidence to continue and not just give up.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Eh... realistically, people probably wouldn't mind you pointing out that they lost weight. If you want to play it safe, you could just say that they are looking good.

ElGato31 · Answer

No. It's stupid to tell them. They know. What's the answer should be? oh, thanks, really? I didn't notice. Just don't say anything.

serious · Answer

Well, it depends on 2 things. One is if you know the person well or not and second the way you say it.

Sasha0426 · Answer

Nah. People tell me they notice I lost weight and I look good. However, there are times where people say it so rudely. Like, for example, “Finally you lost weight. You looked absolutely horrendous.” That sort of thing.

Potteplante · Answer

People shouldn't be commenting on other people's bodies without being asked first.

4ngelic · Answer

no its usually a compliment lol unless the person looks like they're getting sickly

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Depends on whether you know they're trying to or not.

d_e141 · Answer

It depends on how they look at it like for example if someone is happy to lose weight like me then I will take it as a compliment.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

That’s the kind of question you should expect to hear, “that’s crazy but I forgot the part when I asked”

Anonymous · Answer

I guess it depends on the context.

fonduegirl · Answer

If they didn't ask for it, it's annoying

soe11 · Answer

I personally think should not be saying.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

No. It's a compliment.

Babygirl_S · Answer

It's generally a compliment.

najekim · Answer

Not if you personally know them quite well.

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