Why would the docs not check for head injury?

[DizzyDesii]

My dude was in a car accident Saturday afternoon. Someone ran out in front of him so he turned to avoid hitting them, but flew into a ditch, and his truck flipped upside down. Its completely smashed now. He was trapped inside but eventually worked his way out. People ran over to help him after he got out. Thankfully he is alive and well but is a bit banged up and swollen. He keeps saying his arms are sore. His head has a lump from his tools flying at him. And his knee is swollen from likely hitting the break hard or maybe it hit the steering wheel and he's been limping all Sunday. When the people ran over to him, his head was bleeding a lot but he claims its likely from the screwdriver hitting him and he said the ambulance wiped the blood off. He waited 5 hour at the ER, but said they gave him a shot, tylenol and xrayed shoulders down. Why would they not do a headscan? We’ve seen what happened to Derek Shepard on Greys Anatomy. Is it just because his accident may not have been as bad? Could he maybe have refused treatment? He’s been saying his knee and wrist are swollen and we both know he needs them to work on planes. he's walking with a limp and say it hurts standing and lying flat. He’s expected back at work tomorrow, yet he won't take the advice to elevate his leg nor ice his knee/wrist. He didn't even wanna take the tylenol til i begged nonstop. My moms ex just went through a similar car flip accident and he was stubborn and has now been in a wheelchair for a year.

#FeelFreeToList

Updates

4 mo

Its hard to help someone who won't help themself. He wouldn't go to the hospital when he had the flu nor when he was vomiting blood from drinking too much. I begged him yet it took his friend guys to suggest it days later for him to go. He won’t do an AA meeting despite admitting he may have a problem. he's debating if he’ll do the physical therapy offered for his leg. I wouldn't be surprised if a head scan was offered and he refused it. All he's concerned about is his truck rn 🤦‍♀️

Updates

4 mo

Gosh I’m so over it. So i’m talking to him rn and this idiot spent his DAY OFF at work. He went in for the last half to work and was climbing ladders and shit and the boss of course lets him. I’m just gonna pray for him cause hardheaded af. He still won't even ice nor elevate his leg. He claims the painkiller was enough to make him feel strong enough to work 💀

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that sounds intense dude. Your boy definitely shoulda got his head checked out after a crash like that. I know those doctors just wanna get people through quick sometimes, but flipping your truck? And hitting your head with tools? That's scary stuff.

It's good he's alive forsure, but not taking care of himself now ain't smart. This knee and wrist stuff could mess him up long term too if he don't rest. A year in a wheelchair like your mom’s ex sounds awful. I know he's stubborn, but maybe you could show him that story to make him take it easy? Like sit him down and have a serious talk, tell him you're just worried about his health.

As for the drinking, that's a whole other problem huh. I dunno how to get through to someone about that either. Maybe seeing a doctor or counselor could help, even if he don't want to do AA yet. At least they could check him over good.

I'd say keep bugging him to see someone else - even if he don't like doctors or whatever, you just wanna know he's okay. It ain't weak to get help when you need it. Hopefully he comes around before it's too late, ya know? That's a scary situation all around.

[DizzyDesii]

I told him about my moms ex. He doesn't think the same will happen to him. I pray it doesn't. And he hasn't drank in weeks which i never knew it was an issue because he's lied before about not having drank since January. Then it changed to only drinking on occasion at school and then havinf drank twice some weeks ago. I don't know but i can't be with a drunk. he's only showed he was drunk once around me. If i see its a habit then im out. But he wasn't drunk when this accident happened. Im annoyed because he agreed to start AA when December hit. Now its “i wanna try to stop on my own.” He started last year because of his boss stressing him but if he ends up unable to work i feel he’ll start back. I try not to bug him as much ad i want to but i still make a point at least once a day

[Oliverlogan263]

Man that's a tough situation. Addictions are no joke and it's hard to trust what someone says when they've lied before about drinking. I can understand not wanting to be around that.

On the one hand, going to AA could really help keep him accountable. But stopping on his own is something he's gotta wanna do himself deep down, you know? Maybe having him talk to a counselor one on one could help with that. Like get to the root of why he feels like he needs to drink.

It's good you're still checking in on him daily and caring about his health. But you gotta take care of yourself too in all this. If being with an active addict would hurt you, then setting some boundaries might be important. You can still support him from a distance if needed.

Ultimately he's gotta want the help for himself though. I know that's rough to face. Just keep encouraging healthy choices when you can, and keep your own well-being as a priority too if things get bad again. Hopefully he realizes how much he's got to lose. Keep staying strong - this stuff is never easy.

[DizzyDesii]

I suggested all of that. I even told him they have zoom AA and that guests are able to attend and that i could do that with him. Bt he doesn't want that. Plus he feels word will get back to his boss. If i thought he was an addict, i wouldn't even be with him. I've only caught him drunk once/after the fact but he knows not to drink around me and claims he doesn't. So its so hard with what to believe with him. But if i ever feel its truly an issue than i know to leave. Its just scary that he admitted around the end of November that he feels he's an addict yet claims he hardly drinks. So I don't know. I did say he had to go to AA if he wanted me to stay and of course now he's broken that promise so i look like an idiot still being therr. But he claims he hasn't drank since those weeks ago so I don't know

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that's super sketchy of him to admit he's an addict but then not follow through on getting help. I'd definitely feel like an idiot too if I were in your shoes. You laid down a clear boundary and he broke his word.

At this point I don't know if I'd believe him that he hasn't drank lately either. An addict will say anything to keep using and hide it. The fact that he won't even try zoom AA or talk to someone is a huge red flag.

As hard as it is, you might have to start preparing yourself to walk away if he keeps refusing help. You can't make someone get sober who isn't ready. And staying could end up hurting you more down the line.

Maybe give him an ultimatum - he goes to rehab/intensive outpatient program or you're done. Coming from a caring place, not a punishment. His health and life are on the line.

Addictions destroy so much... I'd hate to see that happen to you guys. But you also gotta protect yourself first. Just some things to think about boo. You definitely don't deserve being lied to like this.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i’ve been preparing myself for weeks now to walk away depending on house this month and next month goes. I gave the ultimatum before he promised to go to the AA and that already changed. By me staying he probably believes i’ll stay through anything. I love him but i won't stay through anything. Im jsut trying to see if things improve

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, you're in a tough spot. On the one hand, you care about him and want to give him a chance to get help. But like you said, by staying it kinda shows him he can break commitments and you'll stay anyway.

Honestly it sounds like you've done all you can and given him more than enough chances already. At this point he's just taking advantage of your love and support without putting in the work himself. That ain't right.

As hard as it'll be, I think sticking to your boundary and walking away might be what actually wakes him up. Seeing you go for good could be the reality check he needs to admit he has a problem. Right now he knows you're not really going to leave no matter what.

You gotta look out for number one too, ya know? Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. He's gotta hit rock bottom on his own terms. All you can do is save yourself from going down with the ship.

You gave him fair warning. Now follow through if nothing changes this month like you said. That's all you owe him at this point. Better start taking care of yourself baby. You'll get through this.

[DizzyDesii]

I know i’ll walk away if i absolutely have to but i dont think that will be a wakeup call for him. He doesn't even feel he deserves love. Anytime his fam tries to take care of him, he comes home telling me he felt that having them show him any type of care (wanting to cook for him, take him shopping, etc) makes him feel horrible like he's taking advantage. He doesn't know how to take people doing nice things for him

[Oliverlogan263]

That's deep... He's got some serious stuff going on below the surface, for real. Self-worth issues and not feeling deserving of love or support - that's tough to deal with on its own, let alone while battling addiction.

I can see why just walking away might not shake him up like it would for some people. With that kind of mindset, he may just think "yeah I knew it, of course she left too cause I don't deserve anything." And keep spiraling.

You really care about helping him heal from the inside out, huh? That's real big of you. It's gonna take a patient, compassionate approach like that.

Maybe the thing is not so much an ultimatum, but just being super straight with him. Lay it all out there - the addiction worries you, the lying hurt you, but you still see his good heart and want to support his recovery.

Then put the ball in his court to make consistent changes, with realistic steps he can accomplish to build up his self-worth. Little by little, with you as a positive influence there for the highs and lows.

Addiction mixes with mental health is a monster, but love can beat monsters. You've got a good heart too. Just do what you feel is right deep down and it'll work out how it's meant to. Dude's lucky to have you in his corner.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea thats part of why i stay because i dont want him to sink even further. I’m trying to give him hope and help him get close to God but he has started to pull away from God again. The problem is even if we couldnt be together, i still find it hard to leave him even as just a friend.

[Oliverlogan263]

Right it’s tough luv I know. On the one hand, you want to be there for him through thick and thin as a friend. But it's also not healthy if staying connected is enabling his self-destructive patterns, ya know?

Maybe the key is setting some boundaries for yourself. Make it clear you still care deeply but can't be his sole source of support 24/7. Encourage him to open up to others too, like a counselor or support group.

Let him know your door is always open if he wants good advice, but you may need space sometimes to protect your own mental well-being. As a friend, your priority still needs to be your own health and growth too.

Does he have any other friends that can help lift him up spiritually too? Church community could be a positive influence if he's open to getting more connected there.

Ultimately, caring from a distance may be best - be there in a crisis, but not enabling daily. Have honest talks and keep checking in to show you believe in him. And take care of yourself too. You got this!

[DizzyDesii]

I dont think he even wants anyones support. Its just in my nature to want to help. His friends are bad influences and thankfully live hours away

[Oliverlogan263]

Mmmm … he a bit hardheaded huh? Man this dude sounds like someone I knew a few years back. This guy didn't wanna admit how much he needed help either, always pushing people away. Maybe your boyfriend just scared, you know? Scared of letting somebody in when he's at his worst.

But he's lucky to have someone like you who cares so much. Sometimes we all need a good kick in the butt to accept we can't do it alone! Even if he doesn't ask for help, keeping it available might show him over time he can trust you.

Have you thought of doing low-key stuff together, like hiking or ball? No big deep talks, just quality time to connect. Let him open up naturally without pressure. Dudes like us often just need to feel heard, not "helped", if that makes sense.

Keep being a real one for him. And keep reminding yourself you can't save someone who doesn't wanna be saved. Just plant those seeds of hope. From there it's on him to water it. You're doin all you can.

[DizzyDesii]

he's super open with me. And yea we may hike next month on vacation

[Oliverlogan263]

Hiking sounds like a dope way to spend your vacation together. Being out in nature can be real good for the soul too, helps gain some perspective.

Just getting some quality one-on-one time where you're not thinking about all the heavy stuff is probably what y'all need. Sometimes we all just gotta escape reality for a bit, ya know I mean?

I'm sure being able to open up to you means a lot to him too, even if he doesn't say it. Sometimes dudes have a hard time expressing feelings and appreciation. But actions speak ya know.

Just keep being you - caring but not controlling. And always remind him of his worth whenever he forgets. The rest is on his journey. But it's awesome you'll be by his side for the ups and downs either way Queen. You're a real one!

[DizzyDesii]

Yea im not outdoorsy but i really wanna checkout this waterfall

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey I say a waterfall hike sounds sick! Even if you're not super outdoorsey, being out in nature with good company can be really dope.

I bet seeing something beautiful like a waterfall could help lift both your spirits too. And it gives you guys something chill to focus on besides all the serious stuff.

You're always looking out for new ways to support your boy and help him feel better. That shows how much you care. He's lucky to have someone like you in his corner.

I know being outdoors isn't your usual thing, but sometimes stepping out of our comfort zone is what we need most. This could end up being an awesome memory you guys make together.

And who knows, maybe being in the fresh air and seeing the Falls will spark something new in you too! You might find you dig nature more than you thought. Either way, sounds like a dope way to spend some quality time. Enjoy it!

[DizzyDesii]

Oh we’re still gonna see them. I just rather drive than hike 😂🤣

[Oliverlogan263]

Lol I know dats right

[NathanDavis]

sounds like both... and it might depend on insurance as well

for the first responders in the ambulance, staff in the ER, and then the doctor who checked on him, all to miss the most present signs of a worst type of concussion, would be rare

terrible headaches, vomiting or nausea, confusion, dizziness, being extra sensitive to light and sounds, memory issues or feeling very fatigued, being all wonky all these are quite evident, so maybe they didn't think it was A MUST, and maybe he refused to check, first because it can cost a lot more money, and second because of insurance policy or work policy... he might be put aside and stop working for a while

I'm assuming he, thankfully and fortunately had a belt on so it wasn't a lot worse but that's still going to be very rough on the whole body, the joints, the muscles, nerves... it all must be sore and might remain sore for a while too

these pains might be related to that, the impact and the soreness, hopefully... rather than some damage to his spine/neck/head

[DizzyDesii]

Insurance wise he's covered. I don't know if he got a concussion but i wouldn't be surprised especially since his head was pouring blood (supposedly from the screw driver popping him) but i know he told them he felt nauseous and he said they gave him some kind of shot. He stays confused and his short term memory was bad before this accident. I can definitely see him refusing if its regarding work. He already hated to miss today and definitely doesn't intend to miss tomorrow. Yea he had a belt on and says he can't recall how he got out of it while upside down so thats part of why i assumed head injury but he claims its his bad short term memory. He said they xrayed his knee and arm but you’d think they’d give him something for the swelling

[NathanDavis]

yes, but most insurances work like this..

"am I covered by insurance? yes, BUT... " the "but" is the problem, insurance companies can cover a lot of things BUT there millions of exceptions in which they can later say no, and not approve something and doctors will not force it either, they will just move on because they know insurance might not go with it or the patient just won't take it

so, I think this is about him not wanting to miss work, "he hates it" so he would probably go either way, if a major concussion had been diagnosed

now, for the things he has mentioned, the bit of nausea, that sounds like the expected mild concussion, and the bleeding yes, I am sure it was a cut, or a deep cut, but that's usually on the scalp, and the swelling will stay for some days no matter what

maybe try to convince him to go get a scan on a couple of days if he remains confused but more than anything, if the headaches do not go away and become even worse

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i dont think he wants to miss work. Check update as well

[NathanDavis]

about the update, it is just very difficult... not only he is stubborn about it, but he might be also afraid, because doctors might find a collection of issues he has to work on (other than the head scan) and again, that requires a LOT of work and might make him not qualified to work at his workplace

works with planes? working on planes does not mix with poor health

I think it would best, difficult but best to leave him alone... because it is going to become your responsibility and you would basically turn into his mom, which, you should not be

and also because for what you say, he is not entirely in bad shape, he can still move around and also complain about it so he is aware too

it would be really bad if he could not move at all and remained with no idea of what happened

I do think that for now, some painkillers or some stuff to reduce inflammation will do the trick well enough, the rest is about time

[DizzyDesii]

I agree that i think its about work. Because he was in a plane crash last year that his boss forced him to go to the hospital to see about. But i think im the only one aware that he's still in pain from it. I know he didn't want to do AA because he said word may get back to his boss. I don't know i guess everything is revolving around not risking work yet risking his health. And yea he's an aircraft mechanic. I have considered leaving him especially afer he told me he hadn't been drinking since January and then i had to find out that he continued recently (or probably never stopped). As far as i know, he hasn't drank in at least 2-3 weeks now but I don't know. If i see that becoming more of an issue i’ll
Definitely be out because i dont really like to be around anyone who habitually drinks (or smokes at all which he doesn't but still)

[NathanDavis]

I do think that the injury thing is definitely work related, he just won't do it because of the work policies and then, that stubborn personality on top of it

as for the drinking... I think it is more of the same, the one way to face alcohol issues is to face them, and accept them, and work hard on it, completely dedicate yourself to beat that issue

if he is not being honest about it, and you do have to find out because of others or in other ways, then it is very likely that he is just not capable of facing or accepting these things yet, so he is not being honest about it

and I would think that, unfortunately... unless you speak with him about this and he accepts and actually opens up about it... it will continue to happen, or there's already more happening and you just have not found out yet, because he won't tell

drinking problems usually overtake relationships... depends on how much of a problem it is, but to vomit blood from drinking? sounds like an ulcer or something and that would be a LOT, not a common thing at all

[DizzyDesii]

He does open up but often if i sense something is up because he's a horrible liar and the truth has always come out same day or same week. But he's more open with me than anyone else. He doesn't want his parents nor friends nor boss knowing different things. I also said that vomiting blood made it sound like it was just a night out drinking with friends. So yea I don't know

[NathanDavis]

this is not the best sign for this kind of stuff...

because, if he starts hiding things from everyone else... and you're the only one that knows or finds out about it, then that makes you some sort of "enabler" to his conditions... because you get the pressure of dealing with all of it, but also can't tell others, so he won't get any help needed, won't face consequences which makes him avoid solutions even more

so, personally... I would say, try not get involved in this kind of dynamic and dependency relationship

and sorry to say but, when a relationship starts to become more trouble than something nice and fun, that's the time in which we have to reconsider that relationship, and seriously

[DizzyDesii]

Yea I've already reconsidered it. But we’ve only had like one bad week a month so I don't know. Its a lot to think about.

[NathanDavis]

think about it, and talk about it with him too... he might be willing to change these things for good too

will require real effort though, from him...

[NathanDavis]

I hope those painkillers are not opioids stronger than tramadol or something like that... because those can get people in trouble as well...

[DizzyDesii]

Yea thankfully not opioids. Tylenol/advil

[NathanDavis]

good... another sign that the pain is not that bad, injuries might be that bad either

[ShadezMcgee]

Did he ever lose consciousness during the accident or at the hospital at any point? If he was conscious and cognizant there is a good chance they took that as a sign he may not have had any head injuries that required further examination than what may have been done.

If you ever lose consciousness and paramedics or doctors are involved the head will be checked.

People can refuse treatment, but I don't think this is what happened with your guy. My guess is he may have whiplash which can be giving him the headache. To go with that, he is more than likely bruised from rolling the truck and getting smacked around. If the x rays show no vreaks and they did them neck down, there isn't much they can do except give the necessary pain meds. Bruised muscles and joints can hurt like hell when moving or resting if they are strong enough.

Why was he driving with unsecured tools in his truck? He's lucky that he didn't get more messed up than he did with them flying around.

There is a reason drunk drivers are less fucked up from accidents than victims. The victims tense up because they can see the accident coming and brace. The drunk is relaxed and not a titillating it which allows the body to move with the vehicle naturally. My guess is when your boy swerved to avoid the pedestrian he tensed up before the roll and it essentially bruised and shocked his muscles which left him in pain.

[DizzyDesii]

I wasn't there but he didn't mention losing consciousness. He just claims he was confused and nauseous and can't remember how he got out the car and stuff but that he blames his short term memory. He definitely said he had whiplash but he didn't say he headache. And yea based off what else you said i guess thats why they only gave pain meds… which he will barely take. And I don't know what all was unsecured but he went out of town to buy new tools to fix his friends truck. I don't know how secured they were before the screwdriver hit him. The airbag went off in his face but surprisingly didn't burn it. He said he thinks it burnt his wrist though and that that may be why its swollen. I don't know. He said he can't recall how he got out his seatbelt but that he remembers trying to reach the door handle and crawling out. He wasn't driving drunk. He supposedly hasn't drank anything in weeks. But rather than a pedestrian it was a car that pulled out in front of him. He hit the corner of their vehicle when breaking from afar but turned and went into a ditch for fear of doing more damage to their car since they had kids in it. The police charged the other guy but still

[ShadezMcgee]

I wasn't saying he was drunk at all, all I did was liken his pain to a victim that was involved in a drunk driving crash. The victims tend to be the ones in pain because they brace for impact on collision like your boy here did when he went in the ditch. Drunk drivers are relaxed and go with the motion of the car which is why they get out of them scratch free a lot of the time.

Now, unsecured tools are things that are not locked down and put away in a box which tells me he either had them just lying in the truck or he doesn't have his toolbox secured to keep it locked amd in place.

He could possibly be concussed which would explain the gap, nausea and confusion. Concussion blows have the ability to cause short term memory gaps if there is a loss of consciousness or if they get hit just right. What is the last thing he remembers before the accident and getting out of the truck? He should go for a follow up just to be sure.

If he refuses then tell him acting macho or playing tough like this is stupid and he is a fucking moron if he continues to disregard his physical health.

[ShadezMcgee]

Wait. How did he know the car he hit had kids in it?

[DizzyDesii]

Oh okay i thought the drunk part was referring to my update above. I know what unsecured tools are but he just bought them and was driving back home from the tool store so i have to assume they werent locked away yet but I don't know. I told him several times he's being an idiot for not letting docs check on him. And he prob had a concussion/start of a short term memory during the plane crash last year when his body flew up and hit the ceiling. His back still hurts from that but he won't tell anyone else that. I think he's so afraid of not being able to work that he won't tell people when he's in pain. I told him the least he could do was doctor on himself after this car accident and put ointment on the scars/swelling, ice them and elevate his leg. He refused to do that and has barely taken the meds his doc gave him Saturday. If he won't do the simple things, he won't get further checked out and thats why im starting to think he refused treatement/head scan. But he did tell me through text a bit ago that he called the physical therapist and left a voicemail. So maybe they’ll at least see about his arms/legs I don't know. Remember i talked to you about the drinking thing? Well he admitted after Thanksgiving that he felt he had an issue (and not just from the guys at school pressuring him to drink) and promised to start AA in December. This month arrived and he refuses to even attend the zoom meeting. He wants to try to stop drinking on his own first. I don't know what to say at this point. As for the kids, he said a suburban pulled out in front of him and he hit the break quickly and the closer he got to it he could see little kids in the backseat. He said he turned the wheel to avoid hitting the suburban but that he still hit its corner, smashed their back window before his truck flew upside down into the ditch. He doesn't remember how he got out his seatbelt but remembers trying to open the door upside down.

[DizzyDesii]

(Continued) He crawled out then the driver of the suburban and other bystanders ran over to help him. The gas station attendant said he was bleeding a lot from the head and looked bad so he wiped some of it up while the arriving ambulance wiped the other. He said he kept refusing the gas station guy from wiping further but they suggested he sit so who knows if he refused the head scan

[ShadezMcgee]

... so let me make sure I understand this because you introduced more things here. You believe he had a concussion from a year back from a plane accident now? Bottom line, he is no good to anyone if he is fucked up and his body hinders him from doing his job in the long run. If I was his boss I would tell him to get checked out and a mandated referral before his ass comes back to work because I wouldn't want a liability and him getting hurt because of prior negligence. If he refused, I would fire him. Don't have time to mess with something serious like a head injury, speaking from personal experience.

His drinking issue is one he can try to fix on his own, but to be honest he seems to lack restraint, discipline and conviction to do it on his own. He may need to look into a support group for accountability purposes and redirection from it. If he wants to stop, more power to him, but does he have a legit problem like drinking before and after work or even at work? Then yeah, big problem and impending DUI to likely be a factor.

The vehicle pulled out in front of him and he braked as he got closer. So, was he not paying attention or was he super close when he swerved, because it sounds like he had time to slow down but didn't because he may not have been paying attention

[ShadezMcgee]

(Cont.)

Physical therapy is used as a method to rebuild strength and muscle use after major damage or surgery, so if this is an option he can use it, but that seems like overkill at the moment from the sound of it.

If he in fact got a concussion last year, be wary. You are more prone to similar injuries if you suffer one. He may be more prone to concussions now and should definitely get checked because those are not to be taken lightly on a mental health aspect or physical one, undiagnosed concussions cause issues down the line, so he needs to quit fucking around and get checked. The medication is to alleviate the symptoms and make it tolerable for him, in this case his muscle pain he has now.

His head check from the paramedics like I said probably went as far as necessary because he could have told them he didn't want to check the head since he supposedly felt fine, but there is often delays with head injuries as well. Either way, they would have only been able to check his head beyond consent if he was knocked out.

This stubbornness of his is very toxic since he can potentially be playing with something severe at the moment.

[DizzyDesii]

I don't know about the plane. Im just saying based off how he described the plane crash and his body flying up to the ceiling and causing major back issues and who knows what else, i wouldn't be surprised if he passed out. He sprung that story on my back in like October or November but i didn't want to bring back up the trauma to clarify more with him. I just know it was serious and his boss made him go to the hospital but he never told anyone other than me. All the boss’ workers are leaving him partially because he's a bad boss but my dude is his best guy so i think he lets him get away with a lot even if he sees he's hurt. So i totally believe the boss will allow him to work tomorrow, limp and all. he's only still working there til he gets whatever he needs for his log book and school to leave the guy. I tried to get him with the AA meeting at least by zoom if not in person and he changed his mind about it. It takes a guy to get through to him but he won't tell any of the guys in life. His dad doesn't even know about the plane crash bt his dad knows about the car crash this weekend and has been lecturing him all weekend. His boss picked him up from the hospital Saturday and SAW he was limping. But said he’d give him Monday off and that he needs to be back at work on Tuesday. As for the accident, there were two trucks in front of him, they turned off and the suburban tried to jump in front of him despite the suburban not having the right of way. The police charged them and they even claimed they were at fault when they ran to help him out the car.

[RavVid]

It must have been at a fair speed for the truck to flip. I would have thought with evidence of a head strike and it being a car flip, some imaging of the neck and head was in order. Xrays are cheap as and CT's almost as, so I would have thought CT's would have been done if only to avoid liability and not out of suspicion.

I don't how it is in your neck of the woods but in mine, MRI's (gold standard of imaging) are still done sparsely because they are expensive. A general practitioner can order CTs but only a specialist can order an MRI. CT's would be used as a diagnostic to determine if an MRI was called for. So I am surprised it wasn't used as a clearing - you're good to go - diagnostic.

In the trades, injuries tend to catch up with guys just in their 40's. Heard more than one say they have to get off the tools as their body has worn out. So your dude would be wise in the long term to do the bloody pyshio.

It just seems to be in the male pysche to bitch and moan how sick we are with a head cold but try and work through the pain of a heart attack.

Maybe this comes from the evolutionary fight response in that, no matter how hurt you are, you still have to pull it together and take out the other guy if you are to survive.

by the way just in case, CT's & MRI's both are three dimensional imaging that see into the body, CT's used Xrays and MRI's use magnetic resonance and is more precise. Ultrasound is more used with soft tissue.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea thats why im so confused as to how he didn't do a CT at least. And yea i think he knows how much pain his body has been in even with a plane crash from last year so i feel he's hoping for early retirement anyways

[RavVid]

A plane crash last year? Wow. Light plane accident? What happened?

[BoopBoopBeep]

@RavVid $825 – $4,800 for a cranial CT in the U. S. In the grand scheme of things, yes that is cheap, but they aren't always just going to do one "for giggles" if they are being cheap.

[DizzyDesii]

Some seaplane looking thing they were test driving. I don't know the full story but his boss and i are the only ones aware. He won't even tell his family about it. I just know he said something failed on it and they crashed with his body flying out of his seat into the air and hitting the ceiling. He said his back has been hurting ever since and that he can't even lift over 50 pounds. His boss forced him to go to the hospital because he didn't wanna go

[RavVid]

@BoopBoopBeep In Australia at a public hospital it would be no charge. We have paid for that hospital with our taxes so it should be. At a private hospital it would cost but nowhere near that amount. I'd guess low 100's.

Gee, I can understand avoiding a 5K charge.

[RavVid]

Pretty damn major incident and lucky to be still walking. Lousy thing to happen to him.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@RavVid
I had a heart attack last year. Major one, resulting in a good part of my heart being dead now. Lots of rehab afterwards. I live in a top cardiac care area (luckly... that wasn't planned) that was also rated high on the top ten list of affordable or value added care... forgot the exact wording, but it was basically how far your buck goes for care. Anyway, at the one-year mark (since I'm still going regularly to specialists I can't say the total cost), the price tag was a little over 1.8 million. Of course I have insurance and my max out of pocket per year is 6k, so 6k is what I actually paid over the course of the year, but the hospitals wouldn't have exactly comped it out without batting an eye if I didn't show up with good insurance.

[DizzyDesii]

@BoopBoopBeep @RavVid He mentioned last night that he's been having serious neck pain yesterday but will be seeing the physical therapist on Thursday and that he asked his bosses wife/a nurse to check on him Friday and she let him know that he needs to see his assigned doc and that it will likely be a cost that insurance doesn't cover so yea he probably won't go. He claims the ear pain stopped but that neck pain started. he's already back driving since they rented out a Ram to him yesterday. But it has some automatic breaking thing that triggered when he was backing up and the way it jerked his head, he's been hurting. I think it was already a neck injury from either the plane or car crash and this probably just made it worse.

[RavVid]

@BoopBoopBeep Well I am glad you have been getting good care at a reasonable price - 6k is not bad. Take care.

[RavVid]

That is highly concerning and you have to be right that it is the plane/car crash injuries that the automatic breaking exacerbated. It seems to me that he really does need to be checked out further and it is too important not too. Hope he does so.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Yeah 6k for the year wasn't bad at all. Also had COVID, Rockey Mountain Spotted Fever for a week in the hospital and a week of norovirus in the hospital, so 32 days in a private room all the rehab and surgeries...6k? I'm very grateful. You take care too brother

[DizzyDesii]

@RavVid Thankfully he's going to the physical therapist sometime today. But he told me a this morn his knee has swollen back up. I think he's put too much pressure on it too soon with climbing ladders at work and driving and shit. He won't even ice it with the moose meat anymore. he's so hardheaded

[RavVid]

It isn't going to help toughing it out. Hope the the physio gets him doing the right things. Is the neck pain continuing?

[DizzyDesii]

He said his physio appt went good and that the guy stretched him out and told him he’d be fine. But he mainly just helped with his leg. He did stuff to his neck and shoulders but i know he still needs to see an actual doc about that and his head. He likely won't go but he has another physio appt next week

[RavVid]

It would be better if he did. Has it been definitely been confirmed Insurance won't cover it? I just would have thought a workplace accident and a car accident would have to. Naive I guess.

[Phoenix98]

They should have checked him for head injuries to make sure there weren't any deep cuts into his head or that he didn't have a concussion.

I've had two concussions and multiples lacerations on my head over the last couple of years it doesn't take much even if you have a rock hard head like mine.

Dude needs to take a few days off to heal up like I get it you got a job to do first time I cracked my head open at work I just went back to work even though I had a pretty nasty gash on the top of my head and was still bleeding I just stemmed it when I could. But in my experience if your injured it's better to take some time off if your job will allow it because otherwise depending on what your doing you could make it worse then you'll really be in a pickle.

[DizzyDesii]

I think thats the problem. He feels his boss won't allow the time off. I know the boss is already dealing with others quitting on him because he's so shitty. My dude is the only one who still puts up with his shit because he needs his signature for his logbook to leave him and not have to start over elsewhere. I thought he’d rest yesterday since the boss gave him at least one day off but NOPE, he chose to go into work (which i didn't find out until last night). He keeps saying he's fine and thinks putting pressure on his swollen knee is the way to go. He won't even cover up his swollen wrist that had a nasty cut. He won't use ointment or isopropyl or anything. I just dont get it. Somehow i talked him into icing his knee though he decided to use a pack of moose meat on it. I told him Friday he should let his boss’ wife take a look at him since she's a nurse and will be coming around that day. Hopefully he listens but he's hardheaded. Yesterday he was given a rental Ram from insurance and he's already back driving with a bad knee like an idiot.

[Phoenix98]

Yeah that's probably gonna get worse putting pressure on those kinds of injuries is not what you want to do.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea he had an appt with the physical therapist later today. He just told me his knee has swollen back up. I told him not to go backnto work so soon but he doesn't listen. With him being an aircraft mechanic he has to do so much on his leg

[Phoenix98]

Well hopefully he takes the advice and heals up, you can only push your body so much.

[love_conquers_lust]

If he’s so concerned about his truck, he needs to get off the sauce. My cousin slammed into a tree with his Ford weaving through the hills, the tree won. Pushed the engine up through the dash and nearly killed him.

He needs to get his head checked. He might have a concussion. How is he expected back at work if he needs PT for his leg? I think he’s scared of explaining what happened. He needs to come clean. He may have admitted he has a problem, but he has another problem in that he isn’t doing anything about it.

I can understand as a man wanting to walk away as if nothing is wrong but if he has the insurance, use it. Or else he might be unable to walk away from anything in the future.

[DizzyDesii]

He recently fixed up the truck with new expensive tires, engines, interior, etc so he's just worried about if insurance will match his market value. I’m very sorry to hear about your cousin, my they rest in peace. I told him he needs to get his head checked but he won't. He won't tell his boss how serious his leg is hurting so his boss is expecting him back tomorrow. Physical therapy was offered by insurance as an “if needed” option. And the fact he called them today without me having to egg him on shows that he knows he needs it. But i think he expects to work at the same time. I don't know how cause his wrist is swollen as well. Whats the other problem you’re referring to?

[love_conquers_lust]

Cousin lived. It “nearly” killed him. He has problems with alcohol.

The problem I’m referring to is trying to be physically stoic. Not discerning between being hurt versus injured. If he tries to tough it out, he may end up like me with a permanent impairment. Mine was from athletics trying to play through pain like an idiot. I’ve done that more than once in my life.

[DizzyDesii]

On im sorry for misreading. And yea my dude hasn't been drinking for some weeks at the least. But the accident was Saturday and someone pulled out in front of him. I am worried about permanent impairment because he's hard headed and constantly trying to put weight on his leg instead of resting/elevating/icing it

[Twalli]

Unless you are unresponsive they have to get consent to do anything or risk severe legal repercussions. You might not realize this, but you sign something every time you go to the hospital. It's fir them. You might not he the type ro sur, but some people are and malpractice suits cost the doctor a lot of time (that they can't be paid) and money for legal Bill's. My mom, a former physician, had a shot that said "Support a lawyer, become a doctor". Every doctor, even if the forms are signed, and there is no evidence of malpractice, has been sued for malpractice more than once.

[DizzyDesii]

Well he likely refused then

[Twalli]

As per your second update, ai have no doubt the painkillers did that. It doesn't mean that he is. I was on morphine after my near death of empyema. When it was working, I felt no pain. It stopped working though. I hated when they removed the pump and I needed it. Usually because I needed it during shift change.

[DizzyDesii]

he's on like advil/tylenol though

[Twalli]

What dosage?

[DizzyDesii]

Not sure but i believe he's only taking 1-2 advil of one or the other

[Twalli]

Still depends on the dosage. I can get 24, 12, 8, and 6 hour tylenol and the same for advil.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea I don't know. I didn't ask him all of that

[RoseySarah]

See this a lot of people just refusing to be scanned after an accident they feel fine so they must be fine!

Really also depends on the doctor deciding if it's worth the scan risk and the insurance wanting to help cover it. They try to get away with not giving any tests if they can!

For this it sounds like a combination of the doctor not pressing and him not wanting one.

[RoseySarah]

But also us nurses are so guilty of needing something and not getting it or doing it ourselves!

Really I'd be weary of that guy sounds like he can't communicate with you and everything falls on def ears!

Huge issues down the line!

[DizzyDesii]

I agree with most of what you said buit for the last part, I’m the only one he DOES communicate with.

[RoseySarah]

Really good sounds like he usually does not sorry! 😔

[BoopBoopBeep]

His insurance sucks? CT/MRIs are expensive. The accident sounds worth exploring that option. I've had head scans for less, but I've got awesome insurance that approves everything, too, so I don't know. Otherwise, was it at some BS hospital in the middle of nowhere or a major one? I could see that being a problem.

Did he lose consciousness? and tell them about it?

[DizzyDesii]

He says its one of the busiest yet most unprofessional hospitals. He didn't mose consciousness but he told them he felt nauseous so they gave him a shot or something. He also said they xrayed his arm and leg but i assume the swelling didn't start til the next day. I couldnt even get him to go to the doc these past months for other reasons so I don't know

[BoopBoopBeep]

That's really unfortunate. I'd say he has headaches from it and take him to another hospital.

[DizzyDesii]

He hasn't mentioned a headache yet but i’ll keep an eye on him

[BoopBoopBeep]

No i mean, i'd tell them he has one anyway. They'll do a scan for concussion at a real hospital for that

[DizzyDesii]

Oooo I see

[DizzyDesii]

He has been saying he's experiencing ear pain though

[BoopBoopBeep]

Yep inner ear, disorientation, loss of balance, headache. He's probably having all those. Almost certainly has a concussion. Let's see what the PET scan shows...

[DizzyDesii]

He won't go take one

[BoopBoopBeep]

wow that's really unfortunate. i'm sorry

[DizzyDesii]

I at least got him to finally ice his knee last night. Except he decided to use moose meat instead

[BoopBoopBeep]

Well that's a start i guess...

[DizzyDesii]

I thought that was a bit unsanitary bt yea lol

[BoopBoopBeep]

haha i thought it was wrapped at least. Thaw it then make chilli ;)

[DizzyDesii]

It is wrapped but still lol. Use veggies or something not meat 🤣

[Smashingdoozy]

That is honestly quite strange, both times I've been in a car accident the very first thing they checked was my spine and head. I had a mild concussion and severe bruising from the seatbelt. I definitely wasn't able to do anything for a couple weeks.

[DizzyDesii]

He kept saying he had whiplash bt not a concussion. Still i think they shouldve checked

[DryGermanGuy]

The American healthcare system sucks for all regular citizens, but I assume they checked if he was answering coherently, did not pass out and had normal pupil reactions. But I agree, best course of action would have been to put him into the MRI. Mine was done in five minutes.

[DizzyDesii]

He probably refused. I want to ask but i hate to keep being a bother

[Joshydavid25]

Probably because he didn't lose consciousness per say.. They didn'tfeel the need to specifically do an MRI scan.. I remember when I got ran over by a car, and lost consciousness for a time.. And was in and out on the way to the hospital.. I didn't really gave any injuries but they did an MRI scan just to make sure I didn't gave an internal injuries.. They probably should have done the same to him.. Especially if he was bleeding and got hit in the head by one of his tools..

[DizzyDesii]

Omg you got ran over! 🥹 and yea the MRI is what im referring to i think

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah, I still don't remember the accident a year later.. That part is blank.. I just remember a car coming towards me looking like it wasn't going to stop and next thing I know I'm waking up on the ground with somebody holding my head.. Lol.. And yeah maybe despite the head injury he probably didn't show any signs of internal brain injury..

[DizzyDesii]

Holy smokes

[Joshydavid25]

Haha yeah by the grace of God and having a sturdy body I got out virtually unscathed beside a mild concussion for the next few days..

[Joshydavid25]

And a few bruises on my leg..

[DizzyDesii]

So glad you’re alive and well

[Joshydavid25]

😄😄😄.

[Joshydavid25]

Damn that's some crazy stubbornness.. But I mean I guess I can't talk.. I would probably be stubborn like that as well.. Kinda.. He seems like he just doesn't wanna complicate things..

[Anpu23]

That sucks Desii, sorry to hear that. They probably didn't x-ray his head because he wasn't showing signs of swelling or concussion. But that's my guess. I'm not a doctor. But tell him he needs some RICE in his life. Thats Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. Only way he's going to get better soon.

[DizzyDesii]

I think the swelling started hours later while home. Because he said Sunday he noticed a lump from where he was bleeding and that his leg and wrist were now swollen. I know physical therapists will work with his arms and legs but i wonder would they recommend him to a doc if they think his head looks bad? I recommended ice and elevation (see paragraph above) but he won't do it. he's barely even taking the pain meds his docs gave him

[SunnyRS]

I don't know why they would not unless he himself doesn't want to but that still does not matter.
As it is the doctor's responsibility to see whether there are any fatal injuries or not.
They definitely should. And your man also needs to have a proper check up before going to work.
Apart from that how are you holding up in this situation?
You good?

[DizzyDesii]

Im okay now. I was pretty worried out of my mind because he texted me Saturday late saying “something happened. I’ll tell you about it later, just know im safe.” Or something like that. So of course i freaked out for hours. He didn't call me til 2am when he got home from the hospital telling me what happened. I was relieved he was alive and he claimed he didn't want to tell me by text because i’d worry but shit i was worried regardless. Still slightly am

[SunnyRS]

I would give you a hug if I could, but I am glad everything is ok.
Take care of him and yourself my virtual wifey.
And don't stress deszil.

[SunnyRS]

Just read the update, what your guy is doing is a very unhealthy practice and it is not good for him.
And I know you have tried everything you could but he still doesn't listen so the most you can do is stay with him.
And if there is anything you want to talk about I am here.

[DizzyDesii]

Thank you *hugs*

[SunnyRS]

Nothing more you can do now, unless you want to tie him to a bed so that he can't move. But that's not legal I guess.
So, do whatever you are able to do to help and let him do his thing.

[DizzyDesii]

Misery style? 🤣

[SunnyRS]

That might teach him to listen to you wifey.

[DJB72]

Sounds like he may have refused it. I was in a bike crash a few years ago and no head impact but they still checked for damage.

Suggest in the strongest way possible that he get a doctor check out his head and neck.

[DizzyDesii]

I've suggested that. Check update to see how many times i suggest stuff unsuccessfully

[DJB72]

Maybe "suggest" wasn't the right way to say it.

"Insist". I promise you have ways to convince him. Think "Loretta Bobbitt"

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao not Loretta 😂

[DJB72]

Wasn't that the wife's name? It was a while ago...

Snip, snip, snip and Bob's your auntie 🤣😉😂

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i read about her just now

[DJB72]

Just saw your update.

Not sure where you're from but where I grew up we have a word for guys like him: "fuckwit"

Billy Connolly made if a common term...

[DizzyDesii]

Sounds about right

[Anonymous]

I was in one back in the summer of 2018 and had glass debris stuck in my legs and arms I had a full body check and a MRI scan got patched up and now I’m good


Now head injuries should be taken serious situations should be taken care of in the first time if you wait longer it could worsen over time if he’s stubborn to go drag him to the doctors life is valuable and should be protected a Truck or anything of material can be replaced but not life

[DizzyDesii]

Is the xray enough to tell if he had glass in his leg? I wish i could drag him to the hospital but thats a long story. And yea he's worried that insurance won't provide the market value of all the things he just added to his truck like a new expensive engine/tires/interior etc

[Opinion Owner]

Should be doctos where sticking their tweezers pulling out the glass and had a table with lighting to view the X-rays as they pulled the glass out

He’s going to regret on doing that 👀 soon or later he’ll suffer the consequences for not visiting a doctor a chiropractor could fix the limping that’s what a chiropractor did for me

[DizzyDesii]

He said there's no glass in it but i told him he can't be sure. He called he physical therapist yesterday but they didn't answer. I dont see him going out of his way to get in touch with them

[Opinion Owner]

Well like some people say it’s better for it to be glass than metal or wood but still I wouldn’t trust having glass a push or bump could hit an artery and have internal bleeding

[iron_ninjs]

Don't wanna sound to harsh, but he's as Big of An idiot, as the doctors. If it hurts him, he should go to the doctors, and ask to get examined properly.

[DizzyDesii]

he's totally an idiot

[electromagnetic]

Sorry to hear about your man.
tell him to go and help himself. Can y’all not request a head scan?

[DizzyDesii]

im sure we could. He just doesn't want to

[Sparkie460]

When my daughter was in a car accident they did full body xrays and mri. Things that don't show up on x-rays , show up on an mri. They may have recommended it to your guy when he was in the hospital

[DizzyDesii]

Im thinking an MRI should have been or WAS recommended and he's leaving that detail out. Because i kept telling him it was insane for them to not offer it. He probably refused it

[Sparkie460]

He sounds so much like me

[DizzyDesii]

I've been stubborn and stuff too but our accidents werent the same and he seems worse off

[RHK36]

Can't help people that don't want to help themselves. You aren't overreacting, he just doesn't care enough for whatever the reason.

[DizzyDesii]

I asked him in the past why won’t he help himself and he says he's not suicidal but that he doesn't love himself. Smh I don't know what to say. he's still having back pain from being in a plane crash last year and his boss forced him to go to the doc then but i bet im the only one that he's told that he's still in pain

[RHK36]

I'm sure he told his homies, but they know he's stubborn. It's up to him to want to get better.

[DizzyDesii]

I doubt he told them. he's only around them when school is in session. They dont live nearby so they’re probably unaware about this accident. Normally one of his friends encourages him on all of the wrong things to do so they’re really no help

[RHK36]

That's unfortunate, but also he's an adult. I'm big on self awareness and accountability. If he doesn't want to make things better, there's not much else you can do. You can't force him and when you do he'll do it to appease you and not because he wants to which is putting a band-aid on the problem.

[msc545]

They probably didn't have a scanner but they should have referred him to someplace that did. As for all of it he needs to be seen and checked by specialists.

[DizzyDesii]

Sounds about right

[msc545]

I wouldn't suggest that you and he just rely on the EMT's and ER doc's assessments in the absence of a CT or MRI. It is easy to miss a lot of this stuff and have it come back days or weeks later and bite you. Insurence pretty much has to cover it as it is so basic and common.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea im tempted to ask him if they really didn't offer it or if he just refused it

[msc545]

True.

[FenixG45]

I hate to say this, but your boyfriend is a doctor's worst nightmare!

He probably has a concussion, for 48H, if he falls asleep wake him up! If you CAN'T wake him up, call 911!

[DizzyDesii]

He was sleeping so silently the other night i got scared. But he's awake. This happened Saturday. Its Monday almost Tuesday now so im hoping he's good

[FenixG45]

He probably doesn't have a head bleed unless it's slow like molasses.

[FenixG45]

Keep eye on him for symptoms or odd behavior

[DizzyDesii]

Okay :)

[FenixG45]

He should be examined for possible long-term consequences. For example, whiplash injury after two years.

[DizzyDesii]

Oh gosh what could whiplash do after years? Cause this paired with last years plane crash is probably a lot

[FenixG45]

YUP! He needs to be followed for potential long-term issues

[FenixG45]

Arthritis or surgery are possible