Because they don't want to deal with whatever they're facing alone. Which can be both good and bad. Good in that you definitely should seek help if you're struggling with something, but bad because women do often think something is wrong with them even if it isn't, and they are more likely to subscribe to ideas out there that don't necessarily help. They're running to therapy and books, yet aren't really doing the inner work on their own, they're just crying to someone about their problems.
Fewer men seek help because they don't really believe therapy will help, and probably a fear of having someone else know what their problems are so intimately. Like, they're struggling with something inside yet feel like they don't want someone to know about those deep, dark things in a privacy sense. Not one of shame.
I think it's funny that women are saying men don't get help because of being seen as weak by people or not wanting to open up. Women perpetually pretend that they are outside of this problem when they are actually a large part of it. Women do still largely treat men as if they have nothing to complain about if they're struggling with something, or as if what they're dealing with is still nothing compared to other people. Like guys are babies for their own issues. And that's why men try not to show it.
Good analysis.
Nice stuff. I will say, though, that if a man really feels heard and he trusts you, he often opens up and talks in private. I have several guy friends who talk to me and they know it's going to be kept totally confidential. And, it's interesting to me because, even though none of these friendships are romantic, every single one of them feels protective of me and will go out of their way to help me if I need it.
@Caroline91 That is exactly what I mean. Men confide in people they can trust, and people they get a general sense of well-intent from. Even for me I would rather tell someone I know closely about my inner pains and I can be fairly sure they'll keep it private, then to talk to a therapist about those things, who is a total stranger and doesn't even know me or my history until I sign up for them. That doesn't make me feel super welcoming.
Actually, studies show that men suffer mental health issues at equal rates, and in some studies even higher rates than women due to their work in high risk and high pressure jobs. However, social norms and stigma can play a role in men seeking less help than women. Men may feel societal pressure to handle problems on their own and may perceive seeking help as a sign of weakness. Men often feel the need to “man-up” or “suck it up”! Whereas women, on the other hand, tend to be socialized to be more open about our emotions and look for help and support.
The western cultural attitudes towards mental health and gender roles also influence who seeks therapy. In some cultures, like ours, there is a stronger stigma against men seeking help, which drastically affects the overall statistics. Men are far more likely to work in dangerous high stress jobs, where mental health care is even more critical. Yet those same “man-up”, “suck it up”, and “big boys don’t cry” attitudes that men live with and in which boys are raised, tend to make men less likely to seek mental health help until they are so far past needing help, and their marriage is falling apart, or they are suicidal! This needs to change. Men need mental health care as much, and in many cases more than women! As a society we need to remove the stigma on men getting the help we need! Saying a man, or especially a boy, is somehow “less than”, or “weak” because he needs mental health care is no different to saying a man is “less than”, or “weak” because he gets the flu FFS!
I hope this helps
Laura 🤗 🥰
Because men believe it's better to keep it in than to let it out. They've been taught by society that it shows weakness.
I agree that men keep it to themselves much more than women. But I think that's a natural thing not a society taught thing. Getting emotional like that interferes with their natural role as protectors and providers.
I think it's a bit of both. Society pushes for men to be super masculine which means not showing or expressing your emotions. I had a convo with my boyfriend about this yesterday. He wouldn't let me in about what he was going through because he felt like it would make him vulnerable which has been in my opinion taught by society and how he grew up. It's definitely a natural thing but I think it's also society that pushes this for men to not show vulnerability.
But what gave society the idea that not expressing emotions is a masculine trait? Where did that idea come from?
Movies. TV shows. We see a lot husbands hating going to therapy sessions with their wives on movies and shows.
We see a lot that the male protagonist has to be super macho and not show any emotion.
Why do so many movies and TV shows have that theme? Where did they get it from?
I'm not sure. I just know that's what I've seen growing up and what my boyfriend has seen growing up. I don't know why they got the idea to portray masculinity like that. But that's just how it is in a lot of films and shows.
My belief is they got it from nature and it sells because people can identify with it not because they are being introduced to it by the media. You see that often. When things are the result of natural causes they tend to be very widespread.
So it's a question of which came first the card or the horse?
Could it be that men's natural behavior is why the movies and shows are so popular because people can identify with it?
Or is it because people see it in the movies and they want to copy it?
Or is it, as I think you will believe, a little bit of both.
If so, I'm willing to meet you on that one.
That's true and I'm glad you're willing to meet me on that it's a little bit of both.
This comment is about generalities, and there are exceptions, but overall the generality is true...
Men are problem solvers. They learn to deal with stress on their own, and only turn to others for help when on-my-own doesn't work.
Women, on the other hand, are talkers and analyzers. They would rather talk something out with others than try to solve it themselves.
This man-woman difference is further evidenced by who visits the local DIY store (in US: Home Depot, Menards, Ace Hardware or Lowes) more. Men do their own home remodeling and repairs, while women hire others to do it for them.
Excellent comment!
My own feeling is that if I feel stressed, talk doesn't help me. I create an action plan and then do it. That's the only thing that helps.
To me, under those circumstances talk is a waste of time.
Plus nobody knows what gives me stress relief better than me.
Opinion
17Opinion
Men and women are prone to different mental disorders. Women are more prone to depression.
Talk counselling was invented for women. It is not that well adapted for men. The sooner I stop thinking about something disturbing the better off I am. Talking about it would prolong the problem.
"The sooner I stop thinking about something disturbing the better off I am. Talking about it would prolong the problem."
Good point. And it also explains why men always feel like women never want to let an issue go and always overdramatize everything.
Indeed. Psychiatry was developed by Freud to treat women. If a woman has an issue her friends will gather around her to talk it out. Endlessly telling her she is right and the guy is a controlling meglo.
Her friends might privately think she is stupid but they still tell her she is right. Maybe women have to exhaust the emotion by talking it out endlessly. It was probably ever thus.
In 8 years of college I took two psychology courses and I think they were my least favorite of all the courses I took.
Met a girl in college who I almost married who went on to get a PhD in psychology!
I'm so glad I escaped that one!
This is second hand but a female friend told me one of her girl friends had done psychology and learnt gambling is addictive because of random rewards and punishments.
So she put her boyfriend onto random rewards and punishments. He wasn't rewarded for doing good or punished for doing bad. It was just random. Got him right under control I was told. My FF thought it immoral to use her pysch knowledge in that way..
I think women have always intuitively known and done this anyway.
You might have dodged a bullet with that psych girl!
Interesting. Yeah, I got lucky.
We clashed like oil and water. Props to my mother who said I shouldn't marry her. I thought she was wrong at the time... young and stupid.
Women experience more negative emotions and more strongly like anxiety and depression. But it's also that a lot of men think it's not necessary or an admission of weakness or something to go to therapy. And that can have negative consequences.
women more vulnerable and ok reaching out as they do better with social support. men will try to tough everything out or avoid, they become loners. a vulnerable man is a weak man... in their training. We have to unlearn what we were taught to succeed in relationships and life.
women are also more nuts... haha...
Because woman aren't in denial that unburdening is helpful. Friends tap out, as they should. Listening is a profession most people are too self involved to handle anyway. People should get paid for it.
I wish I got paid for it lmao
You are your groups listener too? Same. lol It can be a lot sometimes.
Yeah you would definitely have to pay me to get me to listen to one more woman in my life rambling on and on and on until my head explodes! 🙄
@dustybiker2 yep and proud of it :) I'm not the best listener ever, but I think I'm doing something right if they keep coming.
It can be a lot, but honestly I'd rather hear all about it 3+ times each from 3 parties than worry if I'm gonna go by their house tomorrow and see a biohazard sign.
You're a good friend. Just pay them back from time to time when you need an ear and shoulder.
:) I try to, but it's usually easier for me to talk to strangers about that stuff. I don't know. I guess I'm one of those guys who always wants to be strong for his friends. Sometimes you just need a rock to stand on, you know?
I get that. Just keep balance. Some can take advantage of that exterior.
Yep. Thanks for the good advice :)
Not worried, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders.
because therapy validates their feelings and they can escape accountability if the therapist allows it which they normally do anyway
therapy is a scam after all and doesn't improve anyone's life other than brainwashing them into thinking it does
More demented misogyny. Men are a bunch of arrogant snowflakes who think that they're too good for therapy when they're the ones that need it the most!! There is a male mental health crisis in the USA! Pick up a reputable piece of journalism and you would know that.
These choices are making me very sad, I'm telling my therapist about this!! 😭
🤣🤪
Guys are raised to live with mental anguish. They are told to "suck it up" and "not be a pussy". There is shame attached to having mental issues.
There should be an option for "Because men see it as social shame when they admit they are too weak to work out their own problems."
@Dongie Men are like the giant redwoods: They don't whine and they don't worry. They stand there against storms and earthquakes and fires and pests. They don't usually need counseling. In fact, our current gynocentric mental health infrastructure would probably be detrimental to them if they DID.
women are a bit more likely to have some mental problems like depression than guys and also dont feel as embarrassed about getting help
Women naturally enjoy self improvement.
Men are more content with being dysfunctional
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Women can stop and get help when they know they desperately need it. Society expects men to be masculine all the way. Masculine is fine, but then there is the societal toxic masculinity. Men don’t feel comfortable asking for help due to that.
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Because males naturally grow up believing that they must posture themselves to appear strong.
Cause they tend to hold things in and nit talk about it
Men see asking for help as a sign of weakness
I hit they need it more but meant because they have to put up with us.
Women might have more internal emotions to deal with
Women's solution to everything, "let's talk".😆
I don't think talk therapy does much for men.
Because a lot of men have this hangup about appearing weak. I don't understand it, but it's a thing.
Bc their men have driven them crazy.
bc we're built different
Because men make us crazy 🤪
m men can be stupid about it
TRUE!
Why do men kill themselves more than women?
Because nobody cares about men.
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