Is "don't be fat" too much to ask in American dating now?

[Adam_INTJ]

Obesity is very common now in the U. S. Some regions are more obese than others, but obesity is common wherever you go in America.

It's a bit of a mess seeing the rift between confident obese girls on social media insisting they're a beautiful catch while comments from many guys amount to "she's delusional and gross." Obesity is so common, I wonder if they need to adapt their frame of how obesity affects attractiveness.

So, I'm wondering, does someone being physically fit automatically make them elite in dating now, that is, out of the league of regular average singles? Is saying "I won't date a fat guy/girl" akin to expecting a supermodel girlfriend or millionaire boyfriend?

Should we lower our standards regarding obesity? Does being a just average single mean that fit/healthy singles are out of your league?

by the way when I say average, you can factor looks, wealth, personality, baggage and all in there. Not just average looking.

[HawkPerception]

The women in the comments seem pretty annoyed with this question 😂

It's a sad state of society right now. Obesity rates have TRIPLED since 1975.

https://www.worldobesity.org/about/about-obesity/prevalence-of-obesity

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/obesity-and-overweight

It's due to all the conveniences we have nowadays. It has resulted in a level of laziness never before seen. Transportation is faster and more accessible than it ever was (people don't walk anywhere near as much). Groceries are also more convenient and have delivery services. People eat for craving rather than hunger. Online jobs have replaced physical labour jobs. It's just a filthy society where everyone wants to stay home and watch Netflix or go out to eat at a restaurant. That's their idea of a good time. It's turning into a Wall-E world slowly but surely.

What blows my mind is that it should seem obvious that being fit is an attractive quality, and being overweight/obese is not. But society has now gotten so soft and offended by every little thing. People can't handle it when others tell them the truth. They don't want to stop their shitty eating habits and hit the gym.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/xUmQFy_BEI0

[WindAtMyBack]

It's a perfectly reasonable request. Fat is an instant deal breaker with me. How do I define fat? Lets says she is 5-4. Then around 140-145 pounds is the top limit. 120-130 would be better.

Fat has become so normal that people don't even know what a healthy weight is any more.

I have never in my life dated anyone fat and never will. But of course when I was young and more active in dating, there weren't nearly as many fat people as there are today.

This really shouldn't even be about dating though. It should be about health. The combination of being over weight, poor diet, and lack of exercise is very deadly. It's just plain suicidal to be obese. The thing is, that once people realize they really do want to live, it's too late. I've seen that happen so many times.

[TwoDecisions]

Are you trying to say obese people can't be avarage? What the actual.

That's a messed up way to view people, "you're obese, that's all that represents you". Why don't they get the same Grace as the "avarage single"?

I don't think people should lower their standards but I sure as hell wish they'd stop demonizing and putting down fat people just for being fat. Fat people saying they're beautiful doesn't harm anyone. It isn't going to make every single youngster dream about becoming obese.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Just don't date someone you're not attracted to. Its not that hard.

I don't get why people get so bend out of shape over people being fat. It's not about you.

If you're not into it, then don't date them. Simple.

[Zack-Bann]

I don’t think it’s your place to ask or not ask either way


You can have fitness standards, in fact you should


But you shouldn’t waste time asking fat person to loose weight before dating.
Just find a fit person who takes care of her health
Problem solved

[Nikki1989]

And not one mention of the millions of obese men in America. I know I was born and raised there. Obesity is a problem for both genders.

[Adam_INTJ]

I didn't exclude it. I opted not to mention it because I hear more of men making obesity to be a disqualifier of women than I hear of women making obesity a disqualifier for men.

[Hagar88]

It is a serious problem especially with black women. So many women that would have been considered average or below in our father's time are so rare that they are like models in the 70s, 80s or 90s.

[Kingofkings1992]

It's okay to have preferences, but "don't be fat" is a very dickish thing to say. What a lot of people consider to be "fat" is really just a different body type than they have. Girls with assets ( big boobs and big butt) are often called "fat" by idiots who for some reason like women to look like sticks. Date whoever YOU are attracted to, but don't tell anyone else they have to live their life in order to please you

[slatyb]

Date whoever you want. You don't have to ask. If you aren't attracted to someone, don't date them. And never ever tell someone why you don't want to date them.

[FunkyMonkee]

The thing is, not everyone sees being fat the same way. I used to be friends with George Romero's niece and, erven though she was skinny as a stick, she thought she was fat!!

[NathanDavis]

if you have to fish for a date...

then you can't afford to be picky

justsayin'

[DishLady]

It's not a dating question. If you don't like the person AS IS, don't date them. Simple.

[capriVib]

I can’t speak for the US, but in other countries, that’s certainly not considered asking for a lot.

[butterly248]

Define fat. I'm chubby myself and still active. If ur going into the 275 + pounds territory then yes, that's fat.

[Fireguy17]

I guess it would be the same if someone told you not to be stupid.