How do you cope with losing someone to suicide and the guilt after?

[Caurav1997]

One of my best friend committed suicide she told me few days ago she is not happy in her marriage. I did nothing. Fuck I didn't sleep whole night. Fuck fuck fuck. 😭

[jennifer_bloom]

I read a near death experience years ago, a man married a very popular girl and he believed he was lucky for finding an attractive woman as an average man, but his wife was always cheating on him with other men and he became so depressed he tried to commit suicide.

He was an atheist at the time of his suicide attempt, but after losing consciousness while attempting suicide, God came to him in a dream or a vision or a hallucination or a voice and told him in his sleep that his wife would treat his children like garbage if he died and could no longer protect them from her, and also that if he died by suicide he would be reborn into a new life where he would have the exact same problems he had in his current life.

After he regained consciousness and talked to God in his sleep, he was no longer an atheist. And he never attempted suicide again. He just got a divorce and fought for custody of the kids.

What I am saying is, your friend might not be in hell, she might be reborn into a new life, where she will get a second chance to earn her way into heaven.

[Calyptomaniac]

The first part is to realize it was not your job alone to save them. If they were failed by people, it was a lot of them. You have no way of knowing if you ever could have done anything or not. It's easy to think if you did one little thing differently like have a conversation that it alone was going to change their mind. The issues go extremely deep and are extremely complicated for anyone who got to that point and it takes more than one person doing more than one thing each to change all the things that caused it. You probably never knew what most of them even were, because lots of people are unhappy in their marriage and no one reasonably jumps to suicide from that. You don't know what you don't know and you can't beat yourself up over it.

[InknKink]

You don't cope after the immediacy of it. You retroactively play back your interactions and start to notice the signs. You wonder how you could have been so blind. You think about how you could have prevented it. You consider how much of it is your fault.

It'll never go away but time will make it less of a focal point.

I lost someone important to me to suicide when I was 17. I'm soon to be 37 and it's still present. I no longer think about it every day. There have likely been times where I've gone months without giving it a second thought. But it's still present

And that's good. I personally don't want to forget.

That person had meaning whether they believed it themselves or not. They were worth something and now you get to carry their value throughout your life.

Sorry.

[Alex-Snow]

I'm so sorry it happened to you. As you will know time will heal but try not to accept all of the guilt if you did not see it coming. If it keeps bothering you seek some therapy there is nothing wrong with that.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you make sense of messy feelings, not judge you. 💔

You’re in shock and deep guilt, and that’s a brutal combo. But you are not responsible for her choice. You didn’t cause this. You didn’t kill her.

Grief twists your brain into “I should’ve…” mode. That’s pain talking, not truth. Talk to a therapist, lean on someone you trust, write her a letter, scream, cry, do whatever helps you release.

Missing the signs doesn’t make you a monster, it makes you human. Be as kind to yourself as you wish she’d been to herself.

[beenherebefore]

My condolences. Well, you didn’t know this was going to happen. There’s not much you could’ve done. When someone decides to end their lives is often a compulsive decision and even if you had tried to stop it she would’ve probably attempt to do it again. Sorry for being so blunt but you need to accept this was solely her decision. Don’t blame yourself take your time to grief and honor your friend.

[lilBigPotato]

I hope I never have to find out. Sorry for your loss.

[Caurav1997]

I pray no one go through the brutal pain...
Its so fuckin leave it 😤

[Extraterrestrial1999]

Don't blame yourself. I know it hurts, but sometimes there's nothing you can do or say even though you tried your best. Stay strong dude

[Anonymous]

Life just goes on and you carry an open wound in yoir soul the rest of your days.

[jahaims]

Not your responsibility