How do you break up with someone you really like?

[Anonymous]

I really like this guy... but we have some major differences. He's almost marriage quality and yet there are some things about him that make it hard for me to really love him. He hates seafood and I love it. He is a very picky eater (hates vegetables, doesn't drink anything but water and tea), he likes fast food and I hate it. He is super cheap... he hates going out for dinner, but his idea of cooking is ramen and hot dog. he's one of those people who will not eat at a restaurant because he doesn't want to pay and after other people have eaten he'll go to McDonald's. He also doesn't drink any alcohol and he hates fancy dress up events.

In 10 years, when I am hopefully married, I see myself out to a nice restaurant wearing my pearls in a black cocktail dress, sitting and drinking a glass of wine, maybe some champagne with the love of my life.

The problem is, I really do like him. He is a great guy... but 10 years down the road I don't want to be eating and drinking alone. Is it wrong to date him just to date him? I think he deserves a lot better than me. He is such a nice guy and I do feel lucky to have him, but I think he deserves someone who likes him more than I do.

[papercut2]

Have you already made a similar thread or is it every girls fantasy to be married and go out to dinner and drink wine?:D

Other than that, if you're not happy with the lifestyle you guys are living(Being in love isn't everything) then you shouldn't stay with him.

The way I would go with the break-up is simply telling him you slowly want to be settling down and he's just not what you're looking for in a serious relationship

[Asker]

hmmm I have not! I didn't know there were others like me! Yeah, idk, maybe if we aren't serious it's okay? Idk, I really like him and I know he'd be devastated if I broke up with him. I mean, I DO like him, I'm just not in love with him. I think he's in love with me :/. I want to be in love with him, but I can't get passed that. Going out to dinner and me drinking alone makes me feel SO lonely.

[papercut2]

Well if you're not completely satisfied now, you won't be with a ring around your finger

If it makes you happier, there's guys like me that still enjoy the wine and dine experience:D

[Asker]

I know :(. I just feel like crying thinking about it. maybe I can talk to him about it first? Think he'll ever change his mind?

[papercut2]

Talking is never a bad idea, give it a shot and if that doesn't work, do what you've got to do

[Asker]

sad. :( maybe I can try a little longer?

[papercut2]

It's your life, you do whatever you want. Breaking up with him will just be harder the longer you stay with him

[Asker]

that's true. I guess I'll try talking to him first. sad :(

[Electric_Dreams]

He's too cynical and he needs to "let his hair down" so to speak. I'd say you should tell him that you're seriously thinking that it isn't going to work out because of certain attitudes of his... to be honest... this guy doesn't sound like he's going to age well. Sounds like a future obesity case. That's no good.

So on the other hand maybe you are better with someone else.

[Asker]

yeah, right? but can I ask him to drink? I can't push my values on him... that just seems wrong... He's actually pretty thin. I think he's just cheap.

[Electric_Dreams]

Nah drinking to be fair that's none of anyone elses business. I have respect for people who don't drink, and a lot of the time there's an internal struggle there. There are a lot of former alcoholics out there, for all you know this guys is one... not wanting to over step a boundary here though and imply there are things he doesn't tell you. I'm just saying.

Some people just don't drink alcohol and I, as a semi-alcoholic myself, don't even have a problem with that. But I can see why...

[Electric_Dreams]

...it might bug an advocate of responsible (or semi-responsible right? :p) drinking to be dating someone who stubbornly refuses to drink alcohol. I don't know if I could date a girl who doesn't drink alcohol at all. Y'know like you, I could and would actually, but on nights out, social get togethers with friends and such, it would bug me. I'd just be sitting there thinking "Dang I wish she would just have a little to drink."

[Asker]

hm yeah, that's pretty much it. he just looks kind of bored whenever we go out lol. but he's so perfect aside from that! ugh. :/ and he's so good to me. it's so unfair. I find a guy who's basically perfect... and yet these little things just add up to something kind of big :/