If it not one its the other...

[Anonymous]

I don't seem to learn from my mistakes. I was missing my ex hubby so much that I let go of this great guy. I know lot of people kept telling me to do what will make me happy. and some were like work it out with the hubby. Your family deserves that much. Now my parents don't normally tell me what to do I am 28, but my mom pointed out a few flaws in my boyfriend and they amplified as I paid attention. Now she is a little bias towards my hubby. He is a great dad. sucky hubby but amazing dad. This is the reason why my mom likes him. He has a son who is not his.. he don't care, my eldest not his but that's daddy... I see this in him but I felt so under appreciated and now even though he is working really hard to prove that he will do anything for me I have given up on a great guy. I have never seen a man cry like this beg to me. Now I am torn once more. To be with my hubby who I have been with for 7 years.. or the one who got away ten year ago and came back to me wanting to give me everything possible. I have separated my self from both of them but I don't know what to do.

[cazza3]

Focus on you. Not just what everyone is telling you. Your husband is a great dad but a sh*t husband and so you were miserable, that will affect your kids just as much, if not more, than you not being together. IWhat I don't understand is if the other guy was so great then why did you miss your ex. Are you just going from one to the other cause they both beg you or because its what you genuinely want. There is nothing wrong with just taking sometime, stepping back from the situation and just try to figure out you. What makes you happy? Every now and then we have to be selfish

[Asker]

Well d boyfriend has a pot habit. I do to but mine is + recreational & not around my kids . I'm guilty of the occasional bowl after they go 2 sleep but he can't seem to function w/o it. I tlked 2 him about how different my life is when it comes to stuff like that. it can't be present in my kids life. I dnt wnt to fix or clean any1 up. been there done that.no matter how much I love him I promised myself nvr again. so I clld it off. Now he wnts 2 change 4 me sees the flaws and knows I cnt live like that

[cazza3]

I smoke recreational too so no judgement. I know what you mean by not around you kids and after they go to sleep as I have friends who are the same. He should have the common sense to know that you don't want your kids exposed to it. If he wants to change he should be doing it for himself and not just to get you back as, in my experience at least, changing someone never works and resentment sets in for both parties. For one is the feeling of being forced into something and holding it against you

[Asker]

That what I explained to my now ex boyfriend. lt hm know I didn't want to change him. My hubby even though he changed it comes with years and having kids he had to grow up my boyfriend has no real responsibilities he can do as he wishes when he wishes and I dnt think he needs the kind of life I have and I definitely don't need his life style either

[cazza3]

I don't have kids either but there isn't a chance I'd even contemplate smoking or drinking around anyone's kids, its basic common sense.