Dont think of me badly.

[Anonymous]

Look, I've been with my boyfriend for well over 5 years, we have two kids together and they are very close in age (one is 2 and the other is 1) anyway, I've not been able to lose my baby weight as much as I've wanted to. He says he likes me as I am, but, when we get around smaller girls, we will not stop looking at them. I do admit I'm a very insecure person expecialy when it comes to my body and he knows that, but he's constantly checking them out and telling me what a nice butt or body they have. Should I lose my weight to show him that I'm just as good as they are?

[kheserthorpe]

Think of you badly?

I started reading this question about you and your boyfriend and your two kids and based on title was waiting for 'and I've been cheating on him and one of the kids isn't his' or something like this.

Wow. Okay.

First of all, he's a bit of an ass for saying things in front of you.

Second, its hard for me to give a straight answer about 'should you lose the weight'. I think what's important is that you try to look pretty good and you feel good about yourself and take care of yourself. You can't 'prove things' to people. You can try to look better (perhaps?). But I don't know what you've done or how you live now. If you've made half hearted attempts to get the body you want, be reasonably consistent and diligent and enjoy the results yourself. If you're already quite diligent and are wondering whether to up your cardio from 10 to 20 hours a week, you probably need to accept you likely are in good shape and stop obsessing.

[Pedantic]

Every feminist on the planet thinks its bad to be a sex object.

I say, most sex objects enjoy being sex objects.

Here's the deal. You don't need to lose weight for him. He is going to stand by you and love you for who you are. He may look at others, but you're his girl. Don't forget that.

But what about you and what about your feelings? Isn't it fun to feel appealing and sexy? Wouldn't you enjoy driving him wild with an improved look? Would it turn you on if you caught him drooling at your backside through a glimpse in the mirror?

I say, if you are answering 'yes' to these, then lose the weight. If the reason is because you're afraid he'll leave you, then I say no - don't lose the weight for the wrong reasons.

[bunny_luv]

Honey you just focus in on yourself ans continue to take care of yourself... And be very proud of your babies... I have a lot of respect for you! Take care and kisses to you babies. They must be beautiful.

[Asker]

Thank you so much :) Your right, I need to focus on myself and not what he thinks.

[bunny_luv]

That's right honey...and I think your husband loves you and his babies just as much too... It takes time for your body to adjust... Stay proud and stay strong.. you got me as a fiend...

Ps. Some how I think your husband loves you for all you've done... Unlike those other women... Big hugs to you!

[bh6676r942]

It is possible but he has two fettishes one for body fat and the other for thin waist lines in other words he gets turned on by both. Or he could just be turned off by your body and be trying to make you feel better by lying to you and secretly checking them out I think you should probably talk to him about it more to get a better understanding of calls I just can't tell for sure with the information you have given