How to ask loved one to loose weight?

[Anonymous]

She is a really amazing person but she is overweight. I want her to be healthy ( have weight in the region of BMI to her height). She takes all weight discussions to heart and makes it impossible to for me to explain that this weight is not good for her. So how to tell her that she need to reduce weight.

[washize]

First start being more active with her. Go to the park for walks, and instead going out to eat at a burger place, go to a vegan restaurant, or a sushi place. Go on hikes, or go dancing more often.

Then once you guys are more active, ask if you can go to a gym together and take classes. They usually weight you there and warn you if you have an unhealthy BMI and the risks associated with that. Then you can talk to her that you two are already on a path to a healthy lifestyle.

Men and women often get touchy about the weight conversation. You can't make anyone lose weight when they don't want to . My mom tried to get my dad to lose weight for years, he's in his 50's and just started the process by himself because he started having health issues. So instead of introducing a conversation that may cause an argument, and resentment.

You should simply introduce her to a more active and healthier lifestyle and see if she takes to it oor not, you can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do.

[Anonymous]

in our relationship. I'm the one that hates moving/sweating and he's the one eating crappy food.

but I would love to go to the gym to lose my chub. but I would also love to go with a gym buddy. so I asked "overweight" boyfriend to join. it benefits both of us. but after a while...he quit and then I quit.

then he buys a bunch of sport stuff because he wants to find something we can both play and like because the gym was boring. plus, I like trying new things and I actually found something I like from it. hiking, esp when there's climbing involved. its fun and beautiful.

for him, I would buy and make healthier food to show him that it could taste yummy too. id add less sugar and substitute certain ingredients blahblah most of the times he doesn't like it so ill keep trying new things.

[Asker]

Thanks. I am just trying and will do until I find a way. I have tried the gym options and similar thing happened.

[Izzy2102]

did you meet her that way? Or did she gain weight. If you met her like that, I don't think you should ask her to change. Overweight people know it's not healthy, for one reason or another they haven't lost weight yet and you're not gonna change that, you're just hurting her in the process

Most women are sensetive about their weight because they think looks (being skinny) is all that matters to guys. So point out to her that you lover her the way she is and that you're very attracted to her, but you want her to be healthy and live long.

[Asker]

No she was not overweight but actually underweight when I met her. However, after her father's death (nearly 9 years ago) she has found a obsession with food. Initially we all thought that is a good sign she is eating. Soon after she started gaining weight and still putting it on.

I do tell her I love her and give a some romantic day/night out and gift small things once a month. I am quite certain she is sure that I love her but I will take your advise.

[sweetone]

Make it all about health. My guy did that to me. I'm not overweight but I never worked out and my body could use some toning up. He would tell me that I need to get some physical activity into my life because it's healthy and we have to take care of our bodies so we can grow healthy together as we age.. So I started working out and he tells me all the time how proud he is of me. He is very motivating and encouraging. And even though I know part of his desire to see me working out is because he is very in shape and I'm not but the fact that he never actually made it a weight thing I guess made me feel better. Your loved one is taking is personally because she is defensive as she feels flawed. Try to keep focus on health only.

[Asker]

I have been finding exciting healthy recipes like the other day I made beef chilli with oranges. I informed her that it brings flavour and it is good for health. She went took the beef and put it in a burger with loads of mayo, cheese and ketchup. I have tried many times talking about how healthier people enjoy. She shuts the discussion with a simple sentence "I am happy". Nothing motivates her. I have complimented when she eats healthy and then she stops eating that. It has not worked for 8year

[sweetone]

ughh well it sounds like you can't win here.. She's gotta want this for herself. Maybe just stop saying things and instead you continue to eat healthy in front of her. Maybe she will catch on if you don't say anything and if not just know that it's not your fault.

[Elouera88]

I don't think there is any good way to approach someone about there weight issues, it's a touchy subject and she is very likely to take offence and it will cause friction. Maybe try cooking or taking her out for healthier meals, suggest doing healthy activities together like bike riding or running in a nice park. Exercise releases endorphins which make people happy :)

[Asker]

I do make healthier meals for her but then she goes and eat junk food immediately after that. Taking her for a walk is challenge as she get tired with 5 min and wants to go back. I cannot push her because she gets all touchy. In simple, I cannot get her to exercise and she runs a mile away o any suggestion of this sort. I even tried her to play badminton, table tennis and etc to get her exercising but she find an excuse or gets touchy. I love her and want her healthy.