It's Never a Happy New Year

[Waffles731]

If you ask me the worst day of the year, its hands down, December 31st with the time from after Christmas to the first couple weeks of January being genuinely awful. The last pleasant new years had was in second grade. I stayed up till 3 am and played video games with friends. That was 15 years ago. New Years is the absolute worst for me. I struggle with feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness all year round but New Years always makes it worse.

My aunt got us to hold a new years party one year, then one year turned into the next and the next and the next until this is the first year in over a decade that a hundred people aren't coming over to my house, the only good thing is I don't have to smile and pretend I'm okay for a whole night while there are a bajillion people in our mid sized house.

Its awful acting like you are okay on a normal day, I have a lot of practice with that but being around everyone laughing, drinking, playing, and just having a grand old time. Its like being at a crowded beach where everyone is celebrating and I swam out too far and now you're drowning only no one notices.

Every New Years i feel like thats another year wasted, I feel like its another year i'll never get back, I feel like its another year that I continued to be an absolute waste of oxygen.

This year I'm in Maine at an inn owned by a member of the family. This year I'm not going to stay up late. At least there's that.

Fuck New Years

[goaded]

Hey, at least there's a countdown clock showing how long you have to be sad for at the bottom of your post!

Don't stress it, it's just another day. Take them one at a time.

We love you, Waffles!

[Blonde401]

It will get better. This year was actually good for me. I can look back on some positive things for a change. Things will change. Everything changes. The only way is up now.

[dissolute_dog]

I'm glad it was a good one for you, Bonnie. ^_^

And you're right! Everything changes eventually. It's true -- the saying that change is the only constant in life, even if we may not be aware of it at first. Just as things can take a turn for the worse, it's always equally possible that things can take a turn for the better. We don't actually know what tomorrow brings, so we shouldn't give up on it before it's here.

[Blonde401]

@dissolute_dog thanks :) I hope yours was too!

Exactly. The only thing we know will happen - change.

[dissolute_dog]

Aw thanks! But honestly, I have to admit that 2017 has been one of my worst years ever. =( I'm really relating to Waffle's explanations here about having to put on a fake face during family get-togethers. But I also am trying to get better for next year. =)

[Blonde401]

@dissolute_dog :( I'm sorry. I know pretty much every year of my life has been like that. This year was a relief TBH.

[dissolute_dog]

That makes me happy for you! =D To the future. ^_^

[Blonde401]

@dissolute_dog to the future :)

[Fitness-Fanatic]

I can feel the despair and pain through your words. It's quite painful and sad to read. I wish I could help to alleviate the hopelessness and worthlessness that you feel. I truly and sincerely hope somehow, someway you can find relief from your depression ❤

I didn't celebrate New year. My nephew died in 2017, So there's nothing to celebrate. 2017 will always be remembered as the year my nephew died.

[zagor]

I haven't paid much attention to it the last few years. To me it is just a deadline to take care of what needs to done before the end of the year. I'll stay up for it, but only because I almost never go to bed before midnight.

[Astoriana]

I agree. I’m not celebrating.