1 mo

"A Little Holiday Cheer"Christmas Jokes

A Little Holiday CheerChristmas Jokes

What better way to spread a little holiday cheer than with corny Christmas jokes 🤶

A Little Holiday CheerChristmas Jokes

Christmas Bike

Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!

A Little Holiday CheerChristmas Jokes

Christmas Angel

One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run... but there were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whisky. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the bottle and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

A Little Holiday CheerChristmas Jokes

Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, his father asks what's wrong. "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."

A Little Holiday CheerChristmas Jokes

Ho Ho Ho

Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit

A Little Holiday CheerChristmas Jokes

Name that reindeer

On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."

A Little Holiday CheerChristmas Jokes

"If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.

A Little Holiday CheerChristmas Jokes

Thanks for reading..💜❤️

I hope you got a little chuckle. They weren't too bad Lol But, speaking of bad, here's my letter to Santa:

A Little Holiday CheerChristmas Jokes

Merry Christmas To All🎄🎅🦌

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘

"A Little Holiday Cheer"Christmas Jokes
12
0
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Guys

  • TonyMetal___86
    Youuuu naughty miss brains 😂😂
    That was hillarious, especially the girl and the cop on the horse made me laugh so much!
    I do think that this little naughty girl was you when you were little miss brains muffins because the cop told me that this little girl was holding a bag full of muffins 🤣🤣

    Thanks for the laughs, who have miss brains on Christmas will never feel bored 😁
    Is this still revelant?
  • Andres77
    "A Little Holiday Cheer"Christmas JokesNot Christmas but North Pole related...🙄
    Is this still revelant?

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

010
  • Lliam
    Good ones! Thanks for the Christmas cheer, bbb.

    Why is Santa so damn jolly?
    Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. (And, yes, bbb is on his naughty girl list. 😜🤣🤣🤣)

    Why is Christmas just like your job?
    You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets the credit.

    I love this time of year.
    You can slam your laptop shut when your girlfriend walks into the room and you don’t get any disgusted looks.

    Three garbage men were doing their Christmas rounds and collecting their well earned Christmas tips and gifts from the grateful householders when they arrived at a pleasant house at the end of a cul-de-sac.

    The sexy housewife came to the door and motioned to one of the men. When he walked up to the house, she said, "I have a Christmas present for you." She took him inside and f**ked his brains out.

    A short while later he returned to the garbage truck and told his colleague what had happened.

    His mate liked the idea of some of that so he went to the house where once again the lady appeared.

    “Come in, I have your Christmas present” she said cheerfully.

    A short while later, he also returned to the truck and told the driver what had happened.

    Not wanting to miss out, the driver scampered up to the house expectantly.

    The lady opened the door and gave him $5.

    “Hey!” said the driver, “What about the fun and games you gave my colleagues?”

    “Oh, you can blame my husband for that” the woman said.

    “What’s he got to do with it?” asked the driver.

    The lady answered, “Well, he said to give $5 to the driver and f**k the other two.”

    ****************************************
    Merrrrrry Christmas!!! 😁😁😁
  • newfreshstart
    great mytake blondie shows you put a lot of work in it wel"A Little Holiday Cheer"Christmas Jokes"A Little Holiday Cheer"Christmas Jokes
  • Jjpayne
    Poison in the milk and a rebel without a claus 😂

    But that reindeer one... well I'm not sure if you knew but "A Little Holiday Cheer"Christmas JokesLol 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
  • jack187625
    "A Little Holiday Cheer"Christmas JokesI take no responsibility for this.
  • Happy Holidays!
    Happy Holidays!
  • humanearth
    Lets hope this is readable"A Little Holiday Cheer"Christmas JokesHe must be talking about you
  • That was great mam.
    It 'claus' for a big round of applause.
  • What's the difference between Santa Claus and Donald Trump?


    Santa stops after three hoes
  • Avicenna
    Go Brains!
  • monkeynutts
    Loved the little girl and the dick copper joke.
Loading...