Would you not attend a Christmas party because you ex will be there as well?

[Anonymous]

There is going to be a Christmas party Im attending this Saturday. The people attending the party are all members of an aerobics team I belong to. Not all members are going though. The party will take place at a house of one of those members. The house is not big it can range from small to medium size. Anyway in this aerobics team there are 2 members who were married and share a 9yrd old daughter. This couple started to date many many years ago more than 13 years ago and all the aerobics local community people know who they are as we all are fond of them and got along well with the,. They both competed in aerobics local competitions and always won. They also both attended Saturday trainings with the rest of the team. But the pandemic started in my country march of last year and trainings and sports events were cancelled and also gym so we did not have trainings or classes for many months. During this time something may had happened with this couple that they got separated, only her closest friends must know what happened between them and what went wrong. I was never told directly they got separated but for their actions and behavior of each spouse or the things the ex wife posted on FB, you can clearly tell they got separated last year.

So trainings and classes were resumed and the team resumed their trainings again momthsh after with all members are already vaccinated. This couple still attend trainings as they are still both members of the same aerobics local team but in each training they barely speak to each other, or even mingle, it can be im sure uncomfortable and since the wife does not have a car, after each training is ended she leaves on her own by bus while the husband who do have a car due for his job, remains at the gym and leave after by himself. If they were still a couple, they leave together right? That stop from happening many months ago when the trainings resumed. Each goes on their own way now.

Updates

+1 y

Since she got separated she now has a shoulder to cry on, another member of the team, but he is gay and he is now her super super best and close friend. So she has his shoulder to confide her personal problems and the husband has now also another friend to confide, also a gay guy from also the same aerobics team I belong to. Like I said all members of this team know each other for years and years even when they were married. But most of the aerobics members are gay men, just a few are straight

Updates

+1 y

So this coming Saturday is our Christmas party and all are invited of course and the husband is going as he always had been a party person but the wife said she can't go. Im sure she is not going because the husband will be there and she does not want to run into him. She had never missed a Christmas party ever until now. I mean do you find kiddish or immature the wife is not going just beauase the husband is going? If they are adults they can behave properly and besides they share a daughter.

[Moose304]

I get asked this question some. What I tell the person asking is where are they with regard to no contact? I know a girl that was lied to about a party back in 2019. She made it clear the host had to choose. The host assured her the ex-husband would not be there. This man was trying to reconcile but the lady was not interested. So of course, the host disregarded her wishes and invited him anyway. As soon as he walked into the venue she walked out. To this day almost 2 years later still has not spoken to this person that lied to her. As far as I know, has blocked her on all social media. Some people that have never been betrayed get all sentimental over weddings, Christmas and Thanksgiving, birthdays, and things like the kids graduating from school. They can't understand why the betrayed wants no contact and starts in on them to "put their big person pants on and forgive" forgetting some of these people are almost at the point of taking their life. This is a HOT button for me. I once followed a woman all the way out of my home down the hall and into the parking lot screaming profanity at her all the way because she had the gall to tell a man he was being selfish because he could not go to an event for his young son. This man was already taking meds and was not sleeping well. In fact, he was placed in an institution almost two weeks later. This woman was his now ex-wife's sister. I personally would go to a party. I have enough emotional control to stay focused on the reason I am there. Some can't and you should NEVER judge them!

[Asker]

What do you mean where are they with regard to no contact? In this couple case. The party is for everyone in the team including the couple in question, all members are invited and the ones that can attend, they attend of course. In the couples case, only the husband will be attending. Kids are even welcome for the members who have kids, like this couple, they share a 9yrd old daughter. Legally and officially they are not divorced yet as they started their separation last year after the pandemic around April last year. I found out of the separation on my own, noone told me, because of the rare captions the wife started to post on Facebook regarding relationships or regarding women independence, so I start to ask around to people who I know that know them more than me but noone wanted to tell me, they all say they were in good terms. I mean if someone does not want to tell me is beacuse there is something fishy going on. Then when our trainings resume and we could see in person again for trainings, these couple simply acted distant to each other when they both attend trainings

[Asker]

They did not mingle at trainings , they were on their own mingling with other team members. SO the time went by and they contineu to behave the same so it is obvioulsthey got separated but also the wife started to get closer to another team member (the one who is gay), I mean the gay man always knew the lady for many years even when she was married anyway but now her being apart from the husband, they became closer and much closer friends than before. That even after trainings is finished she does not go in the car with her husband anymore, as if th ey live together, still she goes by bus by herself always in the company of her gay friend. Their daughter probably they leave her in charge of the husbands siblings while they are not present and they are both in trainings. So back to the party, all are invited the husband is going, but the wife told the team organizer she can't attend but she can cooperate if she has to buy some appetizers for the party but can't go. Probably she has to take care and be in charge of her daughter the reason she can't go but the husband is going. Kids were welcome anyway, but the lady is not going and the father i bet won't have the kid with him at some party especially where there will be beers involved., But im pretty sure the wife does not want to see her husband anotehr reason for not going, because kids were welcome and they both could bring the daughter anyway but decided not to

[LegendaryIcon]

Im jewish. the only reason i "celebrate" Christmas, is to be around family and or friends. this year, ill be with the girl i like. next year will likely be with family again, down in florida. i wouldn't go to a party where my ex's were. i dont even know where the fuck my ex's are

[Wester1967]

Yes. The party is always where I am. Never where my exes are.

[Asker]

so u won't mind running with your ex

[Subarugirl]

Yes I would still go.

[Asker]

Why in your case?

[Subarugirl]

Because I’m not going to let someone I used to know dictate what I want to do.

[emperor90]

Nope because it would be awkward

[Asker]

Even if both knew everyone there

[drowsydaffodil]

yes haha