When Santa fits his fat ass down your chimney Christmas morning who is he gonna find?

[Still-alive]

he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house!

People having the hap hap happiest Christmas ever since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny fucking Kaye!

People who will pump five rounds into his fat belly if he doesn’t get off our property immediately

People who are confused since we have no Chimney

People who dont celebrate Christmas and he's got the wrong house

People who are trying to sleep!

No one since ill be out of town that day

[Sour-rose]

F. >:/ it's especially if it's 2:45 in the morning. Like i just took off my pajamas pants to fall asleep in my dream car (bed) and here comes some red fuxxer trying to come down my chimney. Now I gotta rev up my adrenaline to see if this when I have to get actual blood on one of my knives. That isn't mine.

[Sour-rose]

for those with "those" thoughts, it's not intentional. I own 4 butterfly knives and my first two i cut myself trying to do tricks. So don't get it twisted, i just nicked myself on my own knives. :1

[letuswaltzforthedead]

No chimney but if he knocked on the door, he would find a fat Labrador barking at him (probably expecting food) and a cat being crushed under a massive picture frame, still alive obviously.

[SnowedIn]

I selected the Bong Crosby option because that was lmao awesome. In reality just a pissed off cat who will want food from him.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

He's going to find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house!

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for MHO :)

[llorando]

People who are trying to sleep!

[CrazyGirl2]

Well this is actually the first house I’ve lived in that even HAS a chimney since we moved to the States. But if anyone or anything comes down that chimney, I’m shooting it/them! #SorrySanta

[petitedollbabee]

He’s not gonna find anyone because our fireplace is boarded off and nailed shut 😂

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Pretzel laying on the top of the couch and Nala and Papaya chasing each other around

[mandyfire98]

Hallelujah holy shit, where's the Tylenol?

[driven159]

Will have a guinea pig squeaking for treats

[AsaKyo]

You should know since you are Santa lmao