For those of you in a relationship, whose family takes priority during the holidays? Is it the boyfriends/husbands or girlfriends/wife’s?

[Beckybooboo]

My past boyfriend’s always put my family first and their family would wait to celebrate with us. My brothers always put their wives families first. I have felt bad, thinking it isn’t fair but their families always said it’s fine. Is it an unwritten rule that the girls family should come first? How do you work it out? Of course sometimes circumstances dictate how and with who you celebrate but just pretend you all are available and in the same general area.

[NathanDavis]

yes, as you said... it would depend on the circumstances many... but there's usually one more important... who gets to see their parents less, would have a priority

personally however, I will always give priority to her family and meeting with her parents and then we could alternate if she wishes, year after year and with the other holidays as well, lol

[Beckybooboo]

That’s how it’s been with my boyfriends. They have always given my family top priority and their family would be perfectly fine with that. I think things like that go unnoticed but are really special to me. It’s nice of you guys to do that.

[NathanDavis]

I agree... much more nicer this way

there's been also times in which their parents and mine live close enough, and so then... we first go to my place with my parents so she can meet with everyone and all... and then we end up at her place for the rest of the night, as a main stay

[Beckybooboo]

The worse case scenario was what my brother had to deal with, because his girlfriend’s parents were divorced. He would get pulled in three different directions.

[Beckybooboo]

And her mom was never happy because she felt they catered to the dad. I felt bad for the whole situation.

[NathanDavis]

that would definitely be a difficult spot to be in... personally, I would speak with my girlfriend about and go with the option that would be easier for to deal with

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

If I had a girlfriend, I would agree with whatever she wanted to do, It wouldn't matter to me, I always believe everyone should be equal no matter when it comes to holidays.

[strateguy632]

hmm what if she is not "divide equal"

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for MHO :)

[Finchie40]

Both families should be a priority but not a priority over your partner , so you both should compromise and set up a game plan on seeing each other’s families during the holidays , don’t just make it about yourself and what is best for yourself , remember you aren’t single anymore , your partner should be your top priority over everyone period , including your family , so compromising with each other is the best way to go , if you want to continue having a successful happy relationship with each other , so have a sit down talk with your partner and come up with a plan to see both of your families if possible, Don’t demand your partner to just do what you say , you will be digging your own grave when you choose
Not to prioritize your partner’s feelings , sadly that’s where most people go wrong in relationships and they wonder why that relationship didn’t make it , it didn’t make it because you only cared about yourself and what was best for you

[OlderAndWiser]

Assuming that both families are in the same area, smart people do a rotation. Thanksgiving meal with her family, then off to visit his family; Christmas meal with his family, then off to visit her family. The next year, the schedule is flip-flopped.

[exitseven]

I came from a very dysfunctional family and my wife had just the opposite. There was no contest

[Nikki1989]

People should be thankful they have families to go to. We are not all that lucky.

[Wallythewalrus]

My wife's evil, disgusting and ugly family has always come first. I think it is an unwritten rule, to be honest. Growing up, it was the same with my mom and dad.

[Beckybooboo]

Thank you for you lovely words, Waldo. Now, go take your meds.

[Anonymous]

we have to do family time at different times of the day. it's annoying. and his family always gets more time than mine. honestly i'd rather just ditch both of them and stay home.

[IslaTheWitch]

One year Eastern with my family and Christmas with his. The next year the opposite. But after a few years kids rebelled saying they want to spend this time in their home with their friends.

[strateguy632]

i try to divide even. and i have dumped lovers over this problem.

[Agape93]

I haven't seen my family in a few years, and my girl hadn't seen hers since she was a child.

[Twalli]

Usually, we trade off. For example, I am spending Thanksgiving with my girlfriend's family, but Christmas here.

[LiamJHayden]

If I were in a relationship, hers by default as I have no living family.

[jahaims]

We see both sides of the family

[Joker_]

wife's

[Worst]

my wife's