What was Mrs. Claus before she married Santa?

Question

It's only one right answer. But I'm also looking for the funny answer. Let's see who comes up with it.

Static_In_The_Attic · Accepted Answer

As for Gertrude she made the naughty list & as for Santa he wanted to figure out why she made the naughty list so one day he took a little trip to her establishment.

As for Santa he was greeted at the door & after he was greeted at the door he decided to sit down & watch the show & when he was watching the show he said HO HO HO.

Long story short Gertrude was a stripper & after she heard HO HO HO she sat on Santa’s lap & found out what the North Pole really was & after that she made the nice list & they lived happily ever after or some bullshit like that.

Ironco · Accepted Answer

She was one of the three Hos

Lliam · Answer

A beautiful young woman who lived alone in a cabin in the woods and baked the most wonderful cookies. She pretended to be asleep one Christmas, and when Santa came down her chimney, she came out from beneath her fur blanket to show him just how good a good girl could be. He fell in love and carried her off to the North Pole and they lived happily ever after.

AviatorTom · Answer

She was the Scout Leader of North Pole Elf Boy Scout Troop, and ran a drug rehabilitation program for elves and their parents on the side.

rachel776 · Answer

i think she was a secretary over on Seventh Avenue...

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Q. What was Mrs. Claus before she married Santa? A. Single.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Considering Santa was based on Odin, I figured Mrs. Claus was based on Frigg, his wife.

exitseven · Answer

She worked the counter at Dunkin Donuts.

ohsheeT · Answer

I think she was a phrase then a , then a clause

DrPepper12 · Answer

Her original name was Marissa and she got caught up with some disreputable characters in the Levant about two millenia ago. She was working as an exotic dancer then and had a VERY unhealthy relationship with the red wine if you know what I mean. She couldn't maintain the habit without some occasional extracurricular work on the side - her live-in boyfriend Joseph was regularly unemployed and picked up spare carpentry jobs when he could. So, She had the opportunity to work this Seder party for these 12 dudes and got to drinking on the job as usual. When she had finished her last dance and was completely plastered this incel prick named Judas offered her 30 pieces of silver if she would "take care of" the whole group. She agreed and wouldn't you know it 9 months later that party favor arrived. Joseph appealed to the Pharasee Jerry Springerwitz that it wasn't his but Jerry just said "You are the father" so he did the right thing and helped raise what he affectionately called "My Bastard". He also started hitting the sauce and became a nasty violent drunk. Meanwhile, Judas was blackmailing Marissa about the party she worked and she could no longer pay his increasing demands to keep the secret no matter how many extracurricular activities she took on - hell, she didn't even know which one of them was the father! She decided to split and made her way up North to start a new life. In Scandinavia she shacked up with some rando who called himself "The Wiz" and he had a breeding kink and she was trapped there for God knows how long just birthing his babies by the score. Unfortunately, he had a genetic mutation for dwarfism so all the kids were little people. They all felt bad for Mom and one day they plotted their escape with her. The merry family continued trekking north til they met Kris "Unabomber" Kringle living alone in a shack but man could he fix ANYTHING - a real jack of all trades. They all moved in to his workshop and decided they would go into the toy making business since reindeer herding wasn't quite working out. The dwarfs changed their names to elves and Marissa started going by Mary Kringle-Klaus instead of Magdalene and that's how they became the Shady Bunch.

Elf_Erectus · Answer

A lot of people don't realize that Mrs. Claus was once an elf slave.

Santa's workshop is more than just a place to make toys. It's a hub of kinky, naughty activity. Santa himself is a dom, and he loves nothing more than punishing his elves. Flogging, affixing clothespins to our testicles, tying our ankles to our wrists, sodomizing us... It's all in a day's work.

But let me tell you, Santa's favorite punishment by far is tying us to a Christmas tree and and sodomizing us with peppermint sticks. It's a true test of endurance, and I've yet to meet an elf who can make it through the entire ordeal. Trust me, it's not for the faint of heart.

Now, I know what you're thinking. How can Santa justify all of this bondage and discipline? Well, let me tell you, Santa's elves are his property. We're on his naughty list for life, and we wouldn't have it any other way. We're not just elves, we're his playthings.

Before she married Santa, Mrs. Claus was just another elf, working tirelessly in his workshop. But Santa saw something special in her, a certain spark that set her apart from the rest. And before you know it, they were married in a lavish ceremony surrounded by pine trees and bows.

But let's be real, marriage to Santa is no picnic. Santa loves nothing more than tying his wife to a Christmas tree and flogging her with an icicle.

There's a rumor floating around that Mrs. Claus is even more skilled at dominating than her husband. Some say she's the one who really calls the shots in the dungeon, and Santa is just a pawn in her twisted game. But I wouldn't count Santa out just yet. He may be a dom, but he's not one to be trifled with.

purplepoppy · Answer

Miss L Tow. Just going to leave this here to trigg

Daniela1982 · Answer

The reindeer tender in the North Pole barn? Santa got drunk one night and thought he was doing Blitzen. She got pregnant with an elf so she became Mrs. Claus.  MERRY Christmas BITCH!

strateguy632 · Answer

I read a fictional story, something like santa married into a Japanese family.

Her name was akai in family name tori, and when married santa, took her husbands name claus.

They had a daughter clair claus!

Lynx122 · Answer

She was Miss Contract, then she got breached by santa and became Mrs. Clause

TadCurious · Answer

She was Santa's friend with benefits. They both caught feelings though and the rest is history. 🎄

Still-alive · Answer

I imagine she was a little wild before meeting Mr Claus like Cartmans mom from south park

dustybiker2 · Answer

It took a lot of tries to create her...

LiamJHayden · Answer

Carol Newman, principal at Charlie's school.

PeterLegg91 · Answer

Jobless 😆 🤣 re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

Texaskid1 · Answer

A French dancing girl. See proof below.

RingOfFire · Answer

...

lorenzomichael · Answer

I think she was a dancer on broadway in the city of Monopoly. I think.🤔

spartan55 · Answer

A clap havin Jezebel?

Massageman · Answer

a missing clause.

Likes2drive · Answer

An exotic dancer

Kelly6 · Answer

@simslover92 Santa’s cousin 🤣

Dargil · Answer

She was a (North) pole dancer.

CubaPirate · Answer

A bag lady perhaps

Zack-Bann · Answer

A minor most probably

KittyKat90210 · Answer

Single

stephanie-ramos · Answer

A cat lady

andreasderjuengere · Answer

She was one of the reindeer employees?

SolitarySolace · Answer

A bitch 🤣

zombiewoof · Answer

Single

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Hopefully a buxom blonde !!!

Graptemys79 · Answer

Miss Smith?

Fireguy17 · Answer

Miss Smith?

StevenMcGarrett · Answer

Miss Hawk Tuah! ;)

Wise4myage · Answer

A stripper, lol.

negrl4a69 · Answer

Miss claus

What was Mrs. Claus before she married Santa?

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