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People argue that dating is a proving ground and when you get to know eachother. I used to think the same, but now I disagree. In all of the pre-relationship dates I've been on, I've never once been my natural self and I doubt any of the girls I dated were their natural selves either. Pre-relationship dates create an awkward and stifling environment that encourages fakeness and inhibits genuine expressions.
Pre-relationship dating doesn't help you know who people are, or what they're like. I think that discovery process should occur through hanging out. Once they have gotten a feel for what eachother is like, they can decide on that basis whether a serious relationship is wanted. Once a serious relationship is in place, they can decide whether to incorporate real dates into their relationship.
Given this way of going about relationships, it would be possible for both people in the relationship to avoid dates, if they really want to, but still enable both of them to continue their relationship and progress toward marriage. (Personally, I like mid-relationship dating, just not pre-relationship dating.)
Yes I strongly agree. The dating is much more intimate when u already know the person. And much much better.
I also thinks it's better because u get to know the person on more of a personal basis and there's nothing to hide.
Yes, many guys would.
But they would be going headlong into something with no foundation, no knowledge of their mate- which is a massive mistake.
The reason for dating is to get to know one another, to build a lengthy repertoire with one another. Sex paralyzes that. (Because it's the desert, the reward, why work for something [getting to know you on a deep emotional level] when you have already been rewarded?)
When you have your first fight, all sorts of emotions will come flooding in. Will you be swept away by them because you have no foundation with your mate? Year (s) of dating him, feeling loved as he does sweet things for you, as he explores your heart, and cherishes it. Year (s) of conversing, of hanging out, of doing things together, getting to know each other.
Nothing replaces that, not even good sex. Once you have that established (Again. In Abstinence. Ideally you both should be virgins.) THEN you can begin to build on a lifelong relationship that will last, as you both better understand and know each other, from the former relationship.
Naturally I would want to date and in reality I would.
But right at this moment I just wish I had a husband to pounce on. DX I know this is really bad but I'm really in the mood for the *whistle* and I got no hubby~
And I don't believe sex before marriage. CX
I'm sorry, naturally I will date so don't think I'm some kind of lustful demon. ^^"
Lol no not at all. It's natural to have those type of urges.
I would never everrrrrr want that. Dating is like giving someone a trial run. Jumping into marriage, you'd more than likely end up with the wrong person.
That's what I'm saying. But be friends first.
I'm wondering when a guy really likes you, if he puts u as friends first just to see how u will act. Then if he continues to like after some time if he would consider a relationship, but maybe he does things that are already like a relationship, without the titles.
That's already done in cultures that practice arranged marriage. But I couldn't do that.
I don't agree with arranged marriages, but I'm saying like what if you've been friends with someone for years. No titles. And they just jump and propose to you, and you never considered yourself an item, just close friends. That's what I'm saying.
Jumping from the friend zone to dating is hard enough, lol. Trust me, I did it. I see what you're saying though.
Yes that's very true
But if you're good friends for a long time, that helps to better know a person too.
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From my traditional stand point, It is a lie.
Dating is as if friendship and marriage are trying to play out at the same time. It really is not defined. You are not truly bound in commitment, yet you are held accountable for many of the same responsibilities. This is why it is hard, because the rules are not truly defined and many use it as a free pass to have sex without responsibility... If you want to get to know someone truly, then be friends and keep sex out... If you know and like the person and want to share intimacy, then just get married.
It is a lie when they say it is a good way to get to know someone.
A married friend of mine said that it was not until marriage that he truly got to know his wife. In dating you only see a small part of what the other person is like and hence people get some unexpected surprises when they get married. You have herd it said "It's like I married a completely different person". This is why. Some might think living with your girlfriend/ boyfriend is not the answer either because again it is playing "pretend marriage" but at an even more compromising level (especially for girls). For us men, we get all the privileges of marriage without any compromise.
Dating can be a double edge sword. This is why more conservative people don't take long to get married. The reason is that dating creates an environment of intimacy that is slowly drawing you to premarital sex. Dating also gives you an easy cop out from working through mutual problems, since you can leave at any time with no consequence. Dating can separate you from family and friends leading you to invest into something that can ultimately lead to nothing. I know many that dated for 1 or more years and break up. It is sad and frustrating to think that all those years were invested for nothing. Afterwards girls/guys go into "self-development" mode for another set of years and more time is burnt when you should have gotten married and into "couple development mode".
In conclusion if you are scarred to marrying the wrong person become good friends with them first. If you gotten to know them and like them, get married.
LOL. From the day I met my fiancee.
But then she'd have missed out on the part when I surprise flew her to Paris and proposed at Trocadero in front of the Eiffel.
I knew I would marry this girl after date 5. 4 months in I talked to her parents. 8 months in I proposed.
Do I wish I could've skipped the whole ordeal of finding someone? Yes. But I know I wouldn't the same person today and appreciate her as much if I hadn't gone through those experiences.
Do I wish I could skip the dating bit? Sure. Heck, I wish we could just be married and not have to plan a wedding. But, again, I know I'm better off for the time we've dated. We've gotten to know each other well. And only grown to love each other more.
I like that!
no because I want someone who believes in trust, honesty, communication and respect. Im big on communication. if you dont communicate I dont know whats wrong or what they are thinking. Maybe my shirt looks dumb on me, maybe I got kale between my teeth..
Yes I agree all those make up a great relationship.
will never find that :(
I know it's sad.
Oh god, no!!!
Marriage is as serious a commitment as there is. Why just jump right into something like that?
I'm not saying just jump into it. I'm saying u know the person for a long time already.
Some guys r addicted to it. That's why some guys can't stay in relationships because once they get the girl they get bored.
I hear ya.
For me it's not about chasing all the time. It's about chasing the one woman I want, and making her mine.
I'm sure there's some evolutionary psychology behind it and that it might not make as much sense in the modern world, but I guess I want to feel like I've caught her, knocked her over the head, and dragged her back to my cave. :-P
Thats A Nice analogy. I guess I can see the pride in it. Lol.
Eww, no. Marriage is scary, why would I want to jump straight into it? lol
Now if you asked me "Don't you wish society would stop getting so hung up on marriage and be fine with just being together as you are?"...I'd definitely say yes :)
Awe I like that idea
Mostly not but sometimes I just want to find someone I like and marry them right there. Even considered an online bride lol
Lmao. I want the married life!
I'm, sure you can buy one here https://www.russianbrides.com/ LOL!
I don't want a bride...do they sell husbands
R u expensive?
And how do u know what my price range is? ; ]
...:)
No through dating you find out if your compatible if you click with someone. You develop friendship all this helps in marriage part of the reason of divoice now a days is people rushing into marriage.
I'm not saying rush into marriage. I'm saying like if you're best friends with someone, and you care respect communicate well with them for many years, what's the possibility of never having titles and going to marriage. It's as if you're dating already, but more on a personal note.
I see
Yes I like that idea
So basically, we would have to date in the long run. That's very good advice. Thank you, you have changed my perception on my views.
Without dating you won't know that person. And if you want to marry someone beacuse of looks I have bad new for you...
No I'm talking like maybe ur friends..close friends...U hang out all the time. And maybe fall in love, but never officially date.
They are friends for a reason, if Im intrested in someone for a longer relation I would date them and maybe then end up married
So its safe to say that would date first, not just skip to marriage! Cool.
Exactly
Thumbs up 2 u!
I just can't imagine jumping straight to marriage without spending some time with that person. For me dates are like proving grounds if we get along it's cool, if not well we say good bye to each other and go other sides.
Yes and that's how I feel, but what if u r friends and get along great and hang out all the time. Maybe u r subliminally dating ;) just some points to ponder.
As I told. If Im intrested in a girl I date her, if she's a friend, she's a friend beacuse she's no intresting for me.
Gotcha
So what now? :P
What's ur number...lol
Isn't this going a bit too fast? :P
Lol lol lol hahaha ; p
this is getting weird o:
Yes Very Much So lol
and you are not making it any better !
No, I'm not?
Maybe other way. How do you want to make it less weird? :P
We date! Lmao
Omg it's gonna be so weird they will think I'm ur son or something !
Besides didn't u say something about straightly jumping into marriage? :3
My son. And how old r u?
Will be 23 this year :3
So I would have to have u when I was 9. No bueno
This won't look too suspicious then o:
Lol no not at all
of course not just be sure to bring you own skimask
Honey I don't need to cover my face
I thought you wanted to look suspicios :3
No not at all. I got this
You already look suspicious? O:
Hmmm not sure about that
Oh come on how is that possible? O:
No, dating is required. Obligatory "I'm sorry I thought this was America." Cleaning lady from family guy: No, no, no arranged marriages here.
Hmmm how would I know the person was right for me? I prefer dating first.
I just find dating awkward and it's hard to be yourself.
I'm not saying it would be, but I guess I'm just saying it's better to be friends first.
Yes yes yes!
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllll no :)
I am against marriage in general but there's many cases of guys wanting marriage way too soon. There's the old joke that's probably happened where the "guy pulls out a ring on the first date."
No that's way too soon...
No most guys would rather just have sex or not get married
Mh if I could. It's so true
Yeah it sucks
They just pretend that they want marriage
Correct. They will tell u everything u want to hear just to sac u, then leave u
Yeah some guys do that, its called going to Vegas haha
If you guys dont get what i mean watch hangover
Lol so true
why should we be so dumb and go to marriage with someone we don't even know if we can hang more than 3 hours together without getting crazy. marriage for less tax paid is the only thing I know
lol fuck no. No marriage. Ever.
You'll change you're mind
lmao everybody says that. Idiots.
Lol. Playa 4 life!
Age doesn't change facial aesthetics :)
Huh? I'm not sure I understand that... ;)
Yeah I think about that a lot.
It just seems life would be easier right!
Kind of lol.
wowowow not marriage, oh god, NEVER marriage.
You're still young young buck!
It'd be easier, but nope.
So u say no to easier? I think it's better because the two people would be more like friends.
Yeah but my thing is u guys r friends first
Yes they do and I hope one day I can have that
Never give up
I would do that. As long as she was attractive and wanted kids right away, I would not hesitate. I’m sick of women who insist on dating multiple men just to end up deciding on someone else.
Where are you from?
Yep. Dating is stupid
I just hate meeting new people, and dating feels so unnatural and awkward to me. I would just rather be friends and save the seriousness for marriage. Who wants to waste countless years just dating someone and not getting married. That's such a waste of time to me. I mean if u know it's right, who needs titles.
Especially at my age. I don't have time for that bullshit and wasting money on the wrong one
That's how I feel. I'm not getting any younger, and the biological clock is ticking...If u know what I mean. Lol
Yes, some do. Or at least I do, wish I could just go straight to "I do"
Not into marriage but into bed!
Yikes! Not me!
This guy does.
Nope not ever.
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