Do you agree with this seven-year itch thing and divorce rates?

[Pingju]

The seven-year itch is a psychological term which suggests that happiness in a relationship declines after around year seven of a marriage.

The seven-year itch can be analyzed quantitatively. Divorce rates show a trend in couples that, on average, divorce around seven years. Statistics show that there is a low risk of separation during the first months of marriage. After the ‘honeymoon’ months, divorce rates start to increase. Most married couples experience a gradual decline in the quality of their marriage; in recent years around the fourth year of marriage. Around the seventh year, tensions rise to a point that couples either divorce or adapt to their partner.

In samples taken from the National Centre for Health Statistics, there proves to be an average median duration of marriage across time. In 1922, the median duration of marriage was 6.6. In 1974, the median duration was 7.5. In 1990, the median duration was 7.2. While these can fluctuate from year to year, the averages stay relatively close to the seven year mark.

Yes, I agree with this seven-year itch thing and divorce rates.

No, I don't.

[Tractorbeam]

The average duration of a marriage (until divorce) might be 8 years in the USA (and not much different in other western countries), but the itch is more like a 2-year itch.
Firstly, to be fair, I should mention that well-educated women have a very low divorce rate and have twice the chance of being married for 20 years or more, compared to women who don't complete high school.
Also if a woman marries at age 18, she has twice the chance of divorce compared to those who marry after 25. None of these things seem to make much difference for men and their divorce rates, but men rarely file for divorce. Most men are happy to stay married, are completely surprised when their wife wants a divorce, but just can't do anything more to keep her happy. Some are just happy to get out, after years of rejection by a woman who just won't be pleased. divorcescience.org/.../

The 2-year itch goes like this: At between 1 and 3 years, the attraction chemicals in a woman's head stop working and she loses physical attraction for her partner (but she can still find other men attractive). This is natural and instinctive, and they've evolved that way for the preservation of the species. At about 4 years, 50% of women have turned off the sex ( at least with their spouse). Women who cheat generally start at about 5 years. Men who cheat typically begin to cheat at about the 10 year mark ( 6 years without sex or affection is a long time).
20% of women seem to be immune to this 2-year itch, and will still show affection to their husband after 20 years of marriage. www.macleans.ca/culture/books/the-two-year-itch/

[Pingju]

Thank you so much for your informative answer! :) I will read this again tonight.

[HandsomeRaj]

1. Anyone who coined the '7 year itch' must have been one of the thinkers of this world who had calculated something that we aren't able to decipher with all our tech till date :)
2. Yes what you say is right, it does happen
3. But it's not necessary that way if the partners realize a lot of things than content with being excited with each other initially and then later get bogged down by responsibilities at later stages thus leading to proving this '7 year itch'
4. I lasted well over a decade alright but problems cropped up in 7/8 years (more so owing to external factors rather than anything else) :)

[Pingju]

Thanks for sharing. The Chinese are the ones who came up with this seven-year itch term, I think. Because I think this term is translated from the ancient Chinese common saying called "qi nian zhi yang"(七年之痒) and there is even a Chinese song entitled 七年之痒.

[HandsomeRaj]

Oh that's good information. The Chinese always have been good thinkers :)

I don't understand or read Chinese script lol

[Pingju]

Qi nian zhi yang is the han yu pin yin (English way of writing Chinese) for 七年之痒. When we break up the 4 Chinese characters,
七=on the 7th
年=year
之='s
痒=itch

[HandsomeRaj]

Ah thank you for that :) :D

[zombiebabe]

have heard about it too... but personally i think its the duty of the couple itself to try their best to maintain the relationship as it was since the beginning of it

[kangy]

i feel that people can divorce anytime regardless of the duration they are together, it need not have to be 7 years later.

[Pingju]

Are you using the desktop or mobile version on your S4? I have been using the desktop version since the second day of the new GAG. The mobile version is so inconvenient to use as things are hidden under so many "layers" and the font is so big :(

[kangy]

i think i am using the mobile version sometimes coz the font looks big, but now i am using desktop to type it.

[Pingju]

You answer so many questions but rarely ask questions yourself since the old GAG :(
I find it damn hard to get questions on this site to answer but always try to answer the questions of those who always answer mine but they hardly ask any questions too although they have been on this site darn long :(

[kangy]

Yup I dont really have much good questions
Prefer to just look around
There aren't many good topics now

[Anonymous]

my mom cheated on my step dad after 13 years. I can never forgive her for doing it but for the time being I can live with it.
I heard the average mirage lasts only 8 years which is insane if you include the 30+ year mirages that means there must be a bunch that are lower than 5 to average out to 8.

I think many people assume a wife/husband a child and a pet is the "perfect" way to live life and rush into it without thinking if it's the right move for them.
I think a lot of it has to do with society refusing to change to the need's of families. the parent's are working so much they have no time for each other.

Men seem to take the brunt of the damage when it comes to devours which is why many men are going their own way (mgtow)

[Opinion Owner]

divorce**

[Pingju]

Thanks so much for sharing.

[Opinion Owner]

any time. thanks for the question. if they still had the rating system I would give it a good rating.

[Pingju]

Thanks for your kindness. I miss rating the questions too :)

[Pingju]

See my comment to Raj (upstairs).

[Opinion Owner]

I can't find any comment by a Raj. sorry.

[Pingju]

It's a comment by me to HandsomeRaj which is found directly under his answer. Haha.

[Opinion Owner]

that's cool. the Chinese have been around so long they must have more sayings than anyone else. :P

[Pedantic]

I had a paritciularly hard spike in difficulty level on my 3rd and 7th years of marriage. I think it was always easier after that.

One theory I heard about that was your partner kind of goes from this hot babe to more like a family member and getting your mind psyched up (even to the release of hormones) over your partner kind of dwindles down. I don't really know if that is true.

I still think she's pretty hot. You will want to do things to add spice. Without it that could be a problem. But I don't think I feel the thrill and excitement of first love every morning or anything like that, but overall it doesn't seem true to me. Its an interesting explanation though, and it might touch on something.

[DodgersGM]

Yeah, I generally agree with the principle. People get so swept up in the whirlwind and feelings that they forget that relationship require work and nurturing.

[Pingju]

Yes, relationship, just like plants, constantly require "proper nutrition","watering","weeding"and "fertilising",
otherwise the relationship will never be strong and healthy and it will eventually die.

[golf365]

If you truly love the person you married (Love vs. Lust), seven year itch is irrelevant.