Should I answer his calls?

[Kokogurl]

my boyfriend broke up with me first complaining of space, that he needed space and analyzing how we were just boyfriend and girlfriend and so said point blank that were are not for marriage but I can't b with someone with that thought and I can't b his friend either cause I still love him. but when we talk he still seem to b with me like we are together, call me same name he called me when we were together and still tells everything about him but I need to move on, so lately he calls ma cell but I don't answer it, I'm I doing the right thing? should I answer him when he calls again, cause I've been refusing contacts with him for some time now? what do you suggest I do? I still love him, and I feel so sad when I see him calling but not answering it, and for how long I'm I to cut off contact and when I'm to reopen it? I just want him to miss me a lot. I'm I on the right track?

[Anonymous]

I have wondered if having No Contact really works in all cases. I feel you should not contact him for at least a month maybe longer. However, What if he calls you? Should you answer or continue no contact? This is the way I feel I should handle things if my ex calls me.

If you don’t take his call, then you are really saying to him you are not ready and that you’re still hurting over him, or basically he knows you might still have feeling for him and he could have you back if he wanted you. So if people never want what they can have, he won’t feel like chasing after you.

However, if he calls and you answer, and you act happy and full of energy, like life is great, then a few things will happen. He will think you’re over him already and it doesn’t matter either way if he calls you. This will confuse him, because he thought you were still yearning over him. Also, your being happy will make him miss the happy person he once know, and he’ll want to be around you again. He will wonder if you’re happy because you have found someone else. If you act hurt and like your still upset with him for breaking up with you, he will only feel like he made a mistake by calling you in the first place and he will not want to contact you again.

So, if he calls…answer his call, surprise him by being happy. Talk only small talk, don’t bring up the relationship, don’t ask him if he’s seeing anyone (this will show you still care), Don’t tell him every detail about your life (leave some mystery) and don’t tell him if your dating, he’ll think your trying to make him jealous, which shows you still care. If he asks you if you’re dating then tell yes (even if you’re not) but then say nicely you would rather not talk about it. Keep the conversation short, and be the first to say good bye. Then don’t call him back, let him wonder about you and let him call you back again if he wants…let him chase you. Don’t let him think he can easily have you back (make him work), but don’t play too hard to get either. Just be pleasant (even if you have to act!)

[Dollface-86]

I know you wanna do the right thing but unfortunately you arent. You can't take his calls and be his buddy and then decide to cut off all ties. Call him. Answer his calls. If you still love him and its too hard for you, then talk to him about how you feel and tell him that right now YOU need YOUR space from him. Also I think the fact that he is treating you the exact same as when you guys were together is odd. The fact that he doesn't see you as someone he would want to married is odd in conjuction with that fact. I would assume that wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants you to be with him and hang out and have things like they were, but at the same time look for someone he does think he might wanna be with like that. I dunno. I wouldn't suggest getting back with him if he comes around, but I am telling you to talk to him and stop ignoring his calls. Or at least if you don't want to, let him know.

[Chinnie]

I so know what you are talking about. I think what you are intending to do is the right thing but maybe not answering his calls is not the right thing as it disturbs you too (and I understand that)

I think you can answer his call and talk just like you would be to an acquaintance or a friend, but if he calls as frequent as before and with the same tone you should let him know exactly how you feel about it. :-) Take care.

[sumina7]

Your reaction is not right. There might be some miscommunication. You might be reading too much into his statement. As you ight already know, marriage is very far from men's mind at this age.

Ask him what he meant when he said that your relationship is not for marriage. What kind of girl would like to get married to? (Do you know how his mother is? Because, many men are looking for some one who is like their mothers.) You have find out these things with a cool mind. So, answer his calls and be friends with him. Once you know what he meant, it will be easier for you to decide about him.