Girls, if you had a tomboy bridesmaid who hated dresses, would you let her wear pants for your wedding or tell her it's your day, wear a dress?

[Anonymous]

Would you let one of your bridesmaids wear pants?

I probably would have known she wouldn't want to wear a dress, so I'd let her wear pants. She is who she is.

She can wear one dress, for a few hours and respect that this is what everyone is wearing for my day

Honestly, knowing she's a tomboy, I probably wouldn't ask her to be a bridesmaid, but participate elsewhere in the wedding

[weasley8]

I'm probably going to have a non binary brides person, whenever it is that I'm going to get married. They're not comfortable wearing dresses, but have expressed interest in wearing a jumpsuit in a similar style. Davids Bridal has them for pretty cheap. I don't plan on having my bridesmaids completely match anyway. I just want the dresses or jumpsuits or whatever they wear to be the same fabrics and the same length. They can pick a style that they're comfortable with, and if that means one that includes pants instead of a skirt, then so be it.

[joyjoy123]

I'd never subject anyone to something that will be uncomfortable just to celebrate for me. My friends and family should be having fun with me.

I was asked to be a bridesmaid as well and I'm a conservative. I don't wear tube cuts. Thankfully the bride was like choose any design you want.

I'd understand of course that some people have a set aesthetic for their wedding so not saying it's wrong if the bride wants everyone the same style as well. Just preferably no forcing lol

[Asker]

I wish more brides in general took that into account. I can't see forcing someone to wear something that really makes them uncomfortable even for a few hours, but this is a conversation that is currently happening with a future bride I know and her bridal party and she is upset that her bridesmaid won't wear the dress everyone else is wearing.

[joyjoy123]

It's a little bit sad really. They see it as just clothes but for some people it's more than that. Their identity. Their insecurity. Their etc. It goes deeper. Honestly I almost had a bad episode when I thought I had to wear a tube because I had it that bad. The thought of showing my skin to people I don't know gave me anxiety. People call me overreacting sure okay. You think I want to have an episode. You think I asked to think this way. People can't just turn off what makes them uncomfortable.

Maybe they can go in the middle? There are certain dress styles that have a suit pants but with a skirt train. Or maybe a flair pants so it creates an illusion of a dress?

[Asker]

I am glad to hear she was willing to work with you. I have definitely been there quietly bowing out of one wedding due to the dress that revealed a surgical scar of mine that I wasn't keen on showing the world in 1000 pictures but I've also been in a wedding where the bride was super respectful asking each bridesmaid what would work for her and all we had to do was stay in the same color/fabric. It is rare that 4-8 girls all look their best in one dress and I think if you're a friend to this person, you would at least know them enough to know what they tend to wear and what makes them comfortable or at least ask and work with that. My bride friend is going grade a nuts because she thinks the girl is being too difficult. I'm trying to talk her down from the crazy ledge to show her something like the pic where pants can blend with the same colors but it's "her day, her way, or the highway" right now.

[joyjoy123]

Yeah my friend's really understanding. Love her! Well hopefully in your case it didn't severe any friendship when you bowed out.

Lol true unless all your entourages are of same built in height weight and even color that uniformity other people think of is just not happening. I mean even something as color can clash with people's skin tone. But complaining about the color is a tad too much for bridesmaids lol.

Sad. Hopefully in due time there's going to be a win win for your bride friend and her bridesmaid :)

[evm987]

Not sure about that... I like the idea of all the bridesmaids looking the same. Perhaps I would look into the possibility of a jumpsuit/romper if she would be comfortable with that. If she would agree to it, perhaps I would have her wear a dress for the ceremony but change for the reception

[thegirlfromthething]

I voted B. I will have a very specific plan for my wedding and anyone who wants to be involved needs to follow it.

[Justacatlady]

I’d want her to be comfortable. I’d also want a choice in what she did wear, so there would be a polite conversation

[Anonymous]

What my bridesmaid wears really isn't too important to me.

[Anonymous]

My sister was a bridesmaid and wasn't that keen on a dress so wore pants with boots. Nothing wrong with it