My sister is pregnant, and she's due near my wedding date. Should I ask her not to go?

[Anonymous]

My sister is due with her third child around my wedding date... my wedding date has been planned for a over year. I asked the venue if it was possible to change the weekend but because of the virus, they're booked because of rescheduling until next April.

My sister is the maid of honor, but I don't want her pregnancy getting in the way of my wedding. She already had hers, she's had kids, and I spent a lot of money on this for the attention to be on my fiance and me. My friends told me I'm being unreasonable, but I really don't think I am. It's not like I can tell her to hold the baby in. When your body is ready, then it's happening. But I don't her going into labor on my wedding day because that's supposed to be about my fiance and me.

Am I being unreasonable for wanting to tell her to stay home and not go?

Updates

+1 y

So my sister and I decided she will go to the wedding, be a maid of honor, but as of now, she possibly will not stay for the reception, and one my bridesmaids also agreed to be a back up maid of honor in case she has to drop out.

So to all of you who said I was being selfish... lolololol, even my sister said I wasn't, and she understood that day is about me.

[CubsterShura]

Why would her simply being pregnant take the attention away from you?

Also people can have a number of different conditions, and things can happen even if one is perfectly fine. If someone in you wedding is handicapped, or ill, and something happens to them will you be mad at them for stealing the attention? If some girl sprains her ankle badly while running around in heels will you be mad at her that people might give some attention to that?

December is a long time away. Talk to your sister and ask if she is confident that she can be the maid of honor. Her comfort also matters, and if she is too sick that time it might cause some difficulties.

Talk to your sister, and also please fix your own attitude. It's your wedding, everyone's aware.

[Asker]

Her 'simply being pregnant' isn't the issue, and I never said it was. I don't care that she's pregnant. It's how far along in the pregnancy that's the issue because I don't want her going into labor during my wedding. If she was 6 months, 7 months, 3 months, I wouldn't care. I get that people can go into early labor. I'm not an idiot. But odds are that she probably won't. She didn't with my niece and nephew, and she's a healthy human being.

[CubsterShura]

Who are you to dictate when you want your sister to go in labor? That's literally something that none of us can ever control.

Please think for once what you're saying and how dumb that sounds. What do you want her to do when she's in labor on your wedding, just in case? You expect her to somehow control it or 'hold it in'? Or do you want her to go to hospital alone to fend for herself to not bother you and your family on your 'big day'?

Incredibly selfish mindset. What a shame.

[Asker]

I didn't dictate that lol.

Please reread my comment. Don't leave advice when you can't comprehend the question.

[CubsterShura]

Read my answer. I told you to talk to your sister about it.

[Poppymarie]

It may be a good idea to ask her to stay home simply because she may not feel up to partying if she’s that close. But no, I wouldn’t ask her to stay just because you want to be the center of attention. I understand you want to feel special, but that would hurt your sister’s feelings and it’s not something she can help anyway.

[spartan55]

Wow, just when I thought I've heard it all.
You make it sound like she is going to pop that baby right in the middle of your vows, which is just ridiculous. People understand that young married women WILL be pregnant from time to time, and they DO NOT care, trust me. I wouldn't even think twice if I saw a very pregnant bridesmaid in a wedding.
If you ask (I mean tell) her not to attend your wedding you will regret it the rest of your life, trust me. How would feel if you were asked to be the maid of honor and then told to not attend the wedding at all? And this is your sister too. Your decision will resonate throughout your family for a long time and not in a good way. Just curious, how does your fiance feel about this, since it's his day too?

[spartan55]

Re: update. Your sister probably agreed with you so you wouldn't throw a hissy fit. I thought you said the day was about you and your fiance? ... then you end with it's all about ME ME ME... truth comes out.😂 😂

[Asker]

Nope, she actually approached me, but nice try hahahaha

[spartan55]

Have a special day princess...🤮

[MysteriousDarkness]

How would you have felt if she told you to not go to hers but the rest of the family and nany relatives we able to go to her wedding? You probablywould have been hurt. She most likely would be hurt if you tell her to stay home instead of being at your wedding especially when she is your maid of honor. What amwould you do if someone was to have a heart attack, slips and falls or something else happens to someone at your wedding? Your sister shoikd be allowed to go so with that said you would be crossing the line if you tell her not to go to your wedding because she could possibly go into labor while at tour wedding and that you you feel as if it would take the attention away from you especiallyafter making her your maid of honor.

[Asker]

That's actually not a good question to ask because I'm not a big wedding person, and I honestly didn't want to go to hers. It had nothing to do with her, but I have Asperger's, so large crowds and people talking too much messes with my sense a lot.

So... I honestly wouldn't have cared. But my other idea is to maybe ask that she's there for the ceremony part and pictures, but maybe not the reception. The reception is what takes forever, anyway. Hers was like 3 hours long.

[MysteriousDarkness]

As to your upfate she most likely said you were not being unreasonable just so she could avoid an argument with you.

[Asker]

She actually approached me, but okay lol

[MysteriousDarkness]

Still standing by what I said and that will ot change.

[mattmanyah2]

Yeah I think so... When a woman is that pregnant her going to an event especially one that involves standing is a labor of love and it's like your saying that doesn't matter... I hate the idea that the wedding is about the couple when it's really about 2 families becoming 1. Just my take on it your not a terrible person I just think your a little miss guided.

[KrakenAttackin]

She is a selfish bitch.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

If your sister is Anything but Sane then she would definetly choose it by herself and she will tell to you that she will not be your maid of honour and she probably can sit in front row of while ceremony goes on if she gets the signals her boyfriend or husband will take care of that

[Asker]

I think that's most likely the best option. Maybe not be in the wedding party, but then I won't have a family member in the bridal party. I only have one sister, and I'm not close to any of my cousins. Or the idea my fiance came up with which is maybe her be there for the ceremony but not the reception so she can still be in the bridal party but she's also not out all day while being 9 months pregnant.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Yup good idea

[Anonymous]

How near are we talking? Also if I was your sister I'd be telling you to shove your wedding where the sun don't shine. She's your sister, she should be at your wedding. I understand you want your day to be about you but the chances of the baby popping out whilst your exchanging your vows is unlikely. She shouldn't be banished from your wedding just incase she goes into labour. I think your being a bit harsh. How would you feel if your sister had said that to you?

[MannMitAntworten]

Well, that is one way to drive one of a wedge between you and your family. It is likely your family will side with your sister, so you are taking a huge risk asking her to stay home. If you are okay with that and perhaps some family bowing out of attending over this, go for it.

[Konabeana]

Maybe you should have a talk with her about it. Express to her your worries and tell her that you are contemplating her invitation

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Id have everyone with assigned seating and put her near the door

[Meropatrick]

Let the buzz double. You get married while becoming an aunt at the same event (or was it becoming an ant, not sure of the spelling )

[Asker]

I'm already an aunt. She has two kids already. But for my name, it really doesn't matter. My name starts with an 'e' sound, so aunt or ant sounds weird lol

[Anonymous]

you're not being unreasonable at all. I would sacrifice that for my sister for her wedding day. No problem at all.

[Asker]

I want her there, honestly, but I also want the day to be about our marriage and union. But I also don't want to hurt her feelings. Most likely what I'll do is I'll just ask her to not come or at least she may not be a part of of the bridal party or the maid of honor. Ugh, it's difficult.

[Opinion Owner]

I understand how you must feel, it's an awkward situation, but i think your sis will be more understanding than you think. You don't need extra stress right now. Just say it to her. Get it out of the way.

[chriscdi]

I don't know but that def make the wedding more exciting, imagine y'all are getting married and she just shits out a baby in the middle of the wedding

[Dog20]

You sound fucking selfish

Honestly I'd be so hurt if I was your sister

[Asker]

I'm selfish because I want my wedding to be about me? That doesn't make sense.

[Dog20]

I'd be insanely upset if my sister told me not to go to her wedding.

I'd probably cry too

[Asker]

That doesn't answer how I'm being selfish.

[navyP]

No that would be rude of you

[Matt3]

wait
we have covid 19

[Asker]

My wedding isn't until December.

[Matt3]

congrats in advance
I think you shouldn't talk with her about it
she knows her behalf

[Twalli]

How important is she to you?

[KrakenAttackin]

You are being VERY unreasonable.

[Gedaria]

Why?