I personally could care less. My dad’s always tried to be apart of my life and i didn't really care to have him in it. But last time i saw him, he said that my boyfriend at the time HAD BETTER come ask his permission before proposing. Like lmao dude you have some nerve trying to speak on my relationship with someone else when we dont have one of our own 🤣 I asked my mom if she cared and she was like “thats just holding up the process and gonna build pressure. You’re good. Go ahead. Let the boy do his thang.” 🤷♀️ #FeelFreeToList#PermissionToPropose
I want my partner to ask at least one of my parents before he proposes
I want to ask at least one of the parents before i propose to them
I hope no one ever proposes because i dont want to marry
I dont feel a parents blessing is necessary for me to propose to them
I dont feel a parents blessing is necessary for them to propose to me
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Please select your age
Do you personally feel the parents should be asked for their blessing before proposing/proposed to?
I've heard about this practice, but it's something that like no one in my family does on my father's side or mother's side. We just don't really care. Most of the time, people make it a surprise and someone will be wearing a ring at a party or something which will let people know.
In my case, I don't care to get the parents of my love interest's permission, mainly because, our love is between the two of us, and the decision of marriage will affect the two of us more than her parents. I hope that I'm on good terms with her family though. I would rather it be that our marriage isn't frowned upon. Though my family would always accept in whomever I marry with open arms. We're a family with a lot of love and romantic views.
Getting approval is traditional, old and outdated. You are choosing the person you spend your life with and who makes you happiest. Not your parents. Good parents will support your decision regardless of their opinion... unless of course your relationship jeopardizes your life and health. Then I understand why parents may want to intervene. That being said, if you know your parents are understanding and support you, it's nice to let them know what's going on.
I too never had a relationship with my father and my mother has never been supportive of my decisions especially when it comes to personal relationships. Even if my S. O could track them down and ask, I am sure he wouldn't get a yes. More likely a "why are you bothering me?". But I can understand why people do it. It is a sign of respect and it also shows that you want to be involved in your partner's life. However, I believe it is an outdated tradition as far as western culture goes. I think for the most part people would do what they wanted to regardless of the answer anyways, so it is kind of a waste of time.
It was very important to me that my husband ask my dad for his blessing before proposing. Of course, I also have a healthy relationship with my father and he's always been very supportive and involved in my life. I imagine I'd feel differently about the subject if my relationship with my father were different.
From what I understand, my husband invited both my parents over to dinner one night and cooked them steak and mushroom risotto, showed them the ring, and said this was happening and it'd be great if they'd get on board lol
Since when you turn 18, your decisions in life are going to be yours. Asking for advice from people who lived your years before you is generally a good idea, but the ultimate choice is yours. Own up to your fuck ups if you happen to do some, but make your own bed as an adult would. That includes choosing the companion of a lifetime.
I personally feel that parents blessing and opinions matter a lot. They always want the best for us. They never talk to us about it does not mean that they don't care for us. They want us to happy. They do so much for us when we are young so at least having their blessings or opinions is the least we can do.
I think it depends on the relationship with u and ur family. I am very close to my family. Even dating, if my family didn’t like the guy i would ask y and depending on their reasons I break up with him. Now my decisions in a relationship is still my decision but love is blind and I’ve been head over heals with people that were not good for me and I was able to find out super early thanks to my family. I especially value my mom and my grand parents opinion. They have seen it all and they know me good and bad, they’ve been able to catch onto weather me and a person will even be able to work out based on observing my interactions with them.
Wife 1.0 had her father and mother separated. I asked her mom before marrying her, if she was OK with it. She was OK with that idea, yet she told me I didn't need her permission.
Wife 2.0 was already divorced from her ex and I still asked her parents if they were OK with marrying her. I realized she lived on her own with her 2 kids, but I still asked. Her father told me she was a big girl and could make up her own mind about that. That's pretty much the response I expected. At the same time, I think they were excited to know Daughter #6 was going to get married again and that I was soon to be their new son-in-law.
I was so, so happy when I discovered that my fiancé (now my husband) in time-honoured tradition had gone secretly to ask my father for his permission, and blessing in having his daughter's hand in marriage.
@DizzyDesii Well it totally surprised me beyond belief when I discovered that Jack ( my husband) had actually planned it all out without me ever suspecting anything untowards. Along with both my family and his, all of which were in the know-how, he proposed to me on Christmas morning 2017... I do hope you can believe me when I say, I'm still smiling and as I type this.
I never asked the dads, I think that is one tradition that needs to die. I'm not marrying them, granted when you marry someone you marry into their family too.
My father in law did joke though about how he didn't care if I asked but he still wanted his sheep.
This one is more and more awkward as you get older, I guess I would ask but it would be super weird at my age. One of my parents is dead the other one is a senior citizen so I wouldn't expect it any input from the living one.
On the one hand, I care a lot about families. I have a tremendous amount of respect for a girl's parents, and I want to do right by them.
On the other hand, I also strongly believe in the concept of generational autonomy, and I don't think any adult should need their parents' permission to marry. I don't want her to feel like a child. She's not their property.
So I honestly don't know what I would do. I guess I'd just have to read the situation when that time comes and try to act appropriately.
My husband didn't ask my parents to marry me. He told them he was going to propose and asked if they would support him as my husband. They said yes and everyone was happy. I think asking the parents for marriage is pretty archaic.
No, I feel like I’m independent and there’s no need for all that especially since I wouldn’t marry someone I haven’t lived with for a while. So in my head, we’re living together, we have a shared budget and all that we basically function like family and if my family had something to say they would’ve 😁 I could say no and it would make it uncomfortable for the both of us if someone else other than us knew.
Well in that case it would make sense for them to ask but I don’t see myself getting engaged to someone I haven’t lived with and that defeats the purpose pretty much 😁
Yea im just not trying to shack up for long. If im engaged to someone for 3-6 months thats long enough for me to live with them to know if i can handle that style
No not personally I suppose it is nice in principle but it’s a very old fashioned idea women are largely independent nowadays and my parents disapproval wouldn’t stop me
If it was important to my partner that I get their parents' approval/permission before I propose, I would do it. Otherwise, I wouldn't even think of it. And if the guy I was dating asked my parents' permission before proposing to me, I'm not sure how I'd feel. Probably angry. Marriage is between me and my partner, I don't need my parents knowing a proposal is coming before I do, and I don't need their approval to marry someone
I don't know, I'm kinda old-fashioned like that... If I liked and respected them, then I certainly would, particularly her father... But, it depends what kind of relationship she/we have/have had with them🤷♂️
In my culture, parents handle the propsal part. And I would not give that tradition away for anything. Even if the marriage is coming out of love and courtship of some sort, parents make it formal by taking the proposal to the girl's parents and then wait for their response in due course.
1
1 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
Marriage is a bond between two families. Not just an isolated fulfilment of desire between two individuals.
I think it's a nice thing to do. But if they don't give it, you don't always have to hold to that. You make your own choices and are simply allowing them the right to give a blessing. But the choice at the end of the day is still up to you
I think parents have put their heart and their soul into bringing up their children at least a lot of them do anyway and I think it's only proper and respectful if you do that
Most Helpful Opinions