How do I tell if I am picking a husband based on his oerformance as a man or other reasons and is it good to do the former?

[Idiebtbt]

I plan to perform as a good wife and mother. Cook cleanetc.

I expect my future husband to be the provider. I dont think that's asking too much. I think thats hs job and basic role. Just because everyone today wants to act like undisciplined teens well into their 60s does not mean i have to accept a man who does the same. I can't respect or take seriously a man who isn't a provider and protector.

I can't feel safe and love him. Right?

[btbc92]

No, you got it right. There is not a lot of guys who can meet that department, but say how we're wrong. So, it's just crazy to me. I say the same thing. If they expect us to do all of that and then some, they need to meet that and show what they're going to bring to the table also.

" Just because everyone today wants to act like undisciplined teens well into their 60s does not mean I have to accept a man who does the same." Amen to that. I feel like I could be on a lone island somewhere just to get away from crazy people.

[Idiebtbt]

Its funny cause its always some bad attitude misogynist jerk who has something to say about my standards and expectations of a husband and marriage. Meanwhile those same guys still see us women as sex objects with no human value or personhood and want usnto provide for them, cook clean etc raise kids etc etc. And on top of it these guys as i said have a bad attitude as they are hateful to women, are combative off the bat
It just shows that you just have to look at who is saying what opinions and that can help disprove their validity.

[btbc92]

Try getting called a B, a man-hatter, guys telling me to bleep myself, and I am psycho B and the whole host of list because I said the same thing. Just continue to hold your standards. You will eventually find somebody who will meet them themselves and not complain because he is already doing that. You can't force a man to do something they don't want to do.

[btbc92]

Simply put. Just got to ignore them because they just seek attention. I encounter too many like that also. Especially up here. Seem to attract them like bees to honey. And I am not even looking for those types. Whatever you do, just keep it to yourself and don't get involved with random men. Be around men who respect you and share your values.

[Anonymous]

Take your time building your relationship with someone and look for someone with the right character qualities for you.
Unfortunately we can never know what they'll be like in 10 or 20 years time and people learn new things about the world or about themselves.
You are going to have to work closely with this guy for a long time ago performance in role is only one aspect of what you need. He's going to need to be smitten by you, and believe in what you are offering in the long term as well.
This kind of learning implies a lot of honesty and consistency to define the potential relationship up front.

[Hi754rcb]

How long will it take of this before he marries me? by the way i dont do premarital sex.

[Opinion Owner]

@Hi754rcb how long does it take to learn enough about someone that with confidence you can marry them? I would suggest years of you are sensible.
If you don't do pre marital sex, you'll need to find someone with the same viewpoint and I'm guessing there are not many of these around.

[molonski2]

Well , any marriage that works is a good thing , but no matter what you want or what perceptions of life you have , any marriage , no matter the roles , is an extremely difficult union over the long haul.
Whether you are correct or incorrect? Thats up to you , you are making that decision.

[Idiebtbt]

Why is it difficult?

[molonski2]

Every relationship between two people over a VERY long time , has difficulties , that needs to be accepted..

[Hangry06]

I don't understand what you're asking