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Should husbands trust their wives when they go on a “Girl’s” trip?
What is your opinion?
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Superb Opinion
Of course not. Cuckoldry is the fate of males the animal kingdom over. In study after study of species after species, the idea that females are naturally devoted to their one and only mates has fallen to growing evidence that many of the world's supposedly monogamous females, including human females, are guilty of their share of indiscretions.
Yet in spite of these findings, many biologists, especially male biologists, held out hope that some males might be immune to this kind of treatment by their mates -- particularly the exemplary, hard-working fathers.
But research reported in the Proceedings of the Royal Society shatters that dream. Although the diminutive males do everything to care for the young of their raucous, beefy females, these males are cuckolded. Under some circumstances, the researchers found, males had a 74 percent chance of raising another male's offspring, a mistake in the evolutionary race to perpetuate one's own genes.
“It's about as bad as it can be for these guys,” said Dr. Peter Wrege, a behavioral ecologist at Cornell University who wrote the paper with Dr. Stephen Emlen at Cornell and Dr. Mike Webster of the State University of New York at Buffalo. “A male stuck with doing all the parental care should have a very high certainty of paternity, but in fact, that's not the case.”
Dr. Patricia Adair Gowaty, behavioral ecologist at the University of Georgia at Athens, who described herself as having made a cottage industry of writing about mating behavior from the female perspective, called it “absolutely fascinating,”
“The females are really in the catbird seat,” Dr. Gowaty said. “They seem to be getting whatever they want.”
In some species, males appear to keep track of such things as strange males lurking around the territory or the amount of time the female spends out of sight to assess the likelihood that the female is mating with another male. And when males sense trouble, they sometimes do not work quite so hard to feed the young, letting their cheating female pick up the slack. Females, meanwhile, appear to go to great lengths to keep any transgressions secret, sneaking copulations when their mate is not around and even soliciting copulations from other males in their mate's presence only to make a grand show of rejecting them.647 Reply- +1 y
- +1 y
You have issues. I am almost 30 and I never would do such a horrible thing.
- +1 y
@Alwayreckles93 ‘The lady doth protest too much, methinks’.
Women go to great lengths to keep any transgressions secret. That includes woman secretly committing transgressions, telling lies about where they went and who they were with, and at the same time making a big show claiming they would never do such an awful thing. - +1 y
you're right about the secrecy. the worst offender can easily be the one most in denial
- +1 y
@Alwayreckles93 With a bunch of girls, drunk in Vegas, you would bang a giga-chad in a nanosecond.
- +1 y
@KrakenAttackin Excuse me only woman pisses by the devil do all those things. God is good.
- +1 y
@KrakenAttackin I would never sex is a huge sin against God. ONLY MARRIED couples should only have sex with their spouse. Sin outside of marriage is a huge sin. You will go to hell.
- +1 y
@KrakenAttackin See stupid white people I tell yah bro.
ALWAYRECKLES93 is a racist white bitch.
Bro they angry cus we black people were better then stupid whitez - +1 y
@Alwayreckles93 I would never sex is a huge sin against God. ONLY MARRIED couples should only have sex with their spouse. Sin outside of marriage is a huge sin. You will go to hell."
You really do protest too much. However, in your case is okay when you drop your panties, because on Sunday, after you sinned , you can go to church and all is forgiven and forgotten. And, your husband or boyfriend, never needs to know. - +1 y
@Alwayreckles93 Given the chance, yes you would.
- +1 y
@KrakenAttackin NO!
- +1 y
DWornock ur the weirdo chasing after younger woman. You're disgusting what you can't handle a woman ur own age?
- +1 y
@KrakenAttackin Say that to a younger woman their useless. I am not really 21 actually I am almost you're age FYI.
- +1 y
@KrakenAttackin Go ahead say that a stupid young 21 year old not me.
- +1 y
@KrakenAttackin Wow. You and your friends amazed me. I see what your issue it's because I'm white.
- +1 y
- +1 y
- +1 y
@Alwayreckles93 Absolutely, the younger women are better. They have more useful years remaining. I'd take them at 17, the age of consent in Texas, if they have me. I don't want some dried up 35 year old hide. At 35, their value has expired, but a 17 year old has 18 useful years remaining.
- +1 y
DWornock that's a child you creep. FYI I have friends that are 35 but they actually look 19 they even look better than a 21 year old.
- +1 y
- +1 y
@Alwayreckles93 Your jealousy is coming through loud and clear. Women near 30 that have lost their bloom get furious when men prefer younger women and they are so jealous of younger women that they lie making the ridiculous claim that they look better then young women that are 10 years younger. However, it won't do any good because I not going interested in some hide like you that is 10 years past her prime and has lost her bloom.
- +1 y
DWornock is that wrinkles I see on that forehead of yours you look 40 not 29 . I am a year younger then you Which means you are much more older then me. vYou are not making any sense. FYI people always tell me that I look 21 I look much more young then you.
- +1 y
@Tornado92 Who's old im 19 get help😭
- +1 y
- +1 y
- +1 y
@Tornado92 You called ME first "white bitch" even though I never even mentioned anyones race first. You did it to yourself. Call me white cow? I will call you black n. It's only fair :)
- +1 y
@Tornado92 I did not. I never even said anything to you, but to the OP. YOU started talking to me, and calling me a white bitch. By no reason, you started offending my with my race- so you can BET I will do the same for you. And the fact you think younger girls are better for sex, and yet you still call me childlike and talk to me as if I'm a child, shows that you are a PEDO. Make up your mind. Am I perfect, younger girl, or am I just a child you sick pedo?
- +1 y
@Tornado92 Wtf does that have to do with anything? You called ME a white cow are you delusional?
- +1 y
@Tornado92 Wtf get help lol
- +1 y
People that hate the truth, even when they know the truth, will scream and holler, and loudly proclaim otherwise but obviously most women will cuckold their husband if they are the mood, sexually excited, and the guy is exceptionally good looking.
It is only 2 or 3 days a month that women are in the mode and sexually excited enough and on those days there is a low probability that both they will have an opportunity will an exceptionally attractive guy and where they can be certain their husband will not discover their transgression. Therefore, all the conditions necessary to cuckold their husband may only occur a few times.
Most Helpful Opinions
I don't know when "girls trip" became a meme but it's odd to me.
A girls trip was more or less a thing that was for single girls. Not girls in relationship. Having a girls night tho ( no clubs or bars involved) was hanging out at the house, maybe going to get some food, legit just using this time to catch up and spend time with the girls.
Guys were not involved. But there was always a girl or two in the group who fucked it up by inviting a guy to come see her and the other girls would get pissed because they "promised" it was JUST the girls.
So by and large girls night was always more of a guideline. The goal was to be just the girls. But it often breaks down. And girls night at a bar or club is never a girls night lol. Because men are inherently involved.
Same by and large for trips. If they are going out to bars and clubs. It's not a girls night. It's a night at the bar/club without you. And maybe you can trust your girl, but she's putting herself into a position to be tempted and have something happen.
Girls with character who are honest can acknowledge that's true.47 Reply- +1 y
But yes, should you trust your girl? Absolutely
But also, since she actively make sure she's worthy of that trust? Absolutely
Trustworthiness and showing trust go hand in hand.
If your girl is consistently putting herself and situation for something to happen, to be tempted, or something that could put the relationship at risk? She's not proving herself to be trustworthy - +1 y
I read a story once about a guy who was browsing his girlfriend's laptop when she was in the shower. Found a video of her giving her friends boyfriend a blowjob on a Spring Break Trip with her friends fully aware. Girls will usually cheat if they have the opportunity, ability, and little chance of being caught.
- +1 y
The guy said he had sex with his girlfriend immediately after her shower and saved a copy of that video, but he admitted in his story that he was upset.
- +1 y
@European4Ever yea there are a lot of horror stories. Reason enough to be wise and protect yourself but not so bad you should be jaded.
By and large in most cases. When a girl cheats on you on some level there were things that could have been done. Her suckin a dudes dick on spring break I promise was not the first redflag.
There's always several flags that went ignored and then the worse thing happens that hits. a lot of guys just need to maintain the emotional ability to walk away from any relationship and to put their foot down when it matters.
That guy I'm sure made some mistakes in that regard. Otherwise she'd of never been on Springbreak without him nor motivated to suck a dudes dick that wasn't his.
Not blaming the dude. I'm just saying there were things that could be done that most likely were not and he received a worse punishment for it by the Universe - +1 y
@European4Ever reality punishes weak male behavior
- +1 y
The guy said her friends were encouraging her and the guy said she swallowed after opening her mouth for the camera. One of her friends was the girlfriend of the guy that she was giving a blowjob. Girls are likely to become more likely to cheat or give in to peer pressure or group fun if they have the chance.
- +1 y
@European4Ever for sure. Cultural support and all
- 646 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
+1 yI dont even see why married people need to go on trips without their spouse unless its work related. If you need a days break from your spouse, surely take it, but i’d want him in bed next to me by that night. What are girls trips even really? They could easily spend a day at the spa. What is needed overnight? And after Brokeback Mountain, i wouldn't dare believe two guys just really went on a “camping” trip 🤣
47 Reply- +1 y
@DizzyDesii
its not cheating if your in an open relationship ;) - +1 y
After years of marriage to each other it keeps you from smothering your husband in his sleep.
- +1 y
@LindsayR07 lmao damn. But why not just sleep on the couch that night lol. I feel you can have the whole day to yourself but why not come home that night
- +1 y
The reality is simply that you and your friends will want to do some things the husbands just... Aren't into... And sometimes they involves travel...
I want to go to the ocean, some of my other girlfriends do too, and a lot of our husbands are either too busy or uninterested... Or they're single... Should that mean that I should never see the ocean again until he retires or should we just get together and go?
Funny thing, though.. my great uncle has been married to my great aunt for 75 years... At 93 he still goes and "feeds the cows", even when there's no need, every day... Takes an hour to do it. I figured it out bc I can see his hay stack from my house and I thought he may have been hurt because he was just parked up there...
I'll never forget when he told me that him feeding the cows was the trick to 75 years of happiness - +1 y
@LindsayR07 i hear you but if i want to go to the beach, i can go alone or if friends wanted to go to, we can do all of that and still be home that same night. The beach is only 2 hours away. So yea i dont get it but someday when i marry, maybe i’ll understand you better
- +1 y
Where I live it's 8 hours away, and this is not uncommon. And that wouldn't be a safe trip to make alone... A lot of trips aren't and sometimes your SO is simply unavailable... Or sometimes one partner has wanderlust and the other is a homebody... My SO is a homebody and I drag her along sometimes but it's not uncommon for me to be gone for a few days with girlfriends who I travel with and she just stays at home doing her thing... Doesn't mean we love each other less just because we have different interests.
- +1 y
@LindsayR07 yea i dont think it has anything to do with loving them less. But sometimes i put significant others in the same lane as kids. I’d make sure to come home to them at night so i dont see why i’d treat the SO any differently. But thats just me. I understand its different for you guys
- Anonymous(25-29)+1 y
Yup! Women aren’t complete senseless DOGS and PIGS like they are.
So it’s unlikely that a woman would cheat.
Of course unless she sees BRAD PITT which is unlikely, because the majority of men are 💩.05 Reply- +1 y
Dude what the actual fuck is your problem?
Opinion Owner+1 y@Subarugirl
I’ve seen a woman cheat with my own eyes- Opinion Owner+1 y
@subarugirl
“DUDE” ? Did you just misgender me?
Talk about hypocrite! XD - +1 y
You have got to be the troll of the month
- Opinion Owner+1 y
@Subarugirl
You SNOWFLAKES always claim “troll” when you disagree with someone.
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What Girls & Guys Said
26
Opinion
65Opinion
+1 yWell, it depends.
How well is the trust between the husband and wife? How long has their marriage lasted and what kind of obstacles or issues have they faced and resolved together? There’s several things that need to be asked to answer the question. Naturally, I believe it is normal to have a healthy amount of apprehension or suspicion when it comes to either the husband or the wife thinking about their spouse potentially getting involved in something intimate or sexual with another person whether intentional or unintentional especially in certain venues that may facilitate this such as clubs,
bars, raves, etc.20 Reply- +1 y
This highly depends on the context of this "girl's trip". What are they going to do? Clubbing? Drinking? Or just sightseeing?
I know my girlfriend isn't the type to do stuff like go clubbing, dressing provocatively when going out, drinking or whatever. But if her girlfriends decide to do this and try to pressure her, I wouldn't allow it. Well, actually, I wouldn't need to not allow it as my girlfriend would never let herself go with such friends, to begin with.
If they are only going to do some sightseeing, swimming, restaurants, then I do not see why she shouldn't go.00 Reply - +1 y
No, but just not “no” but rather “fuck no”. “Girls trips” and the many varieties of this are known to be situations that women take advantage of to cheat. Everyone wants to pretend this is not a thing because acknowledging that it’s true doesn’t really make women look good, which is precisely why the truth about this particular topic is suppressed. It’s also the reason why men (or even women) who say women should not be trusted in “girls trips” are accused of “misogyny”. Accusing someone of “misogyny” is nothing more than extension of the shaming tactics women use to manipulate men into accepting things they really aren’t ok with.
30 Reply This is one of those questions that is difficult to give a general answer to. If she is committed to the relationship and is not throwing red flags several times a day sure why not? A gal needs some time with her BFFs from time to time. If, however, she is setting off your "spidey" senses then I have to change that answer to maybe. To be fair this question and my answer also applies to men as well as women. The thing is though if your mate is throwing red flags most likely they checked out already. I know a guy that did this a while back. She wanted to take a short vacation with some friends. he said I can't stop you, but if you go I won't be here when you get back. She went, he moved out, and filed for divorce. To this day she regrets doing that!
10 Reply- 435 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. +1 y
Your relationship is already just about over when you get to the point where you WANT to go on vacations without your spouse.
That being said a girls event ie knitting bible study is totally different than girls trip to vegas. My girlfriend has girl time where she knits with other women at a womans house. She also goes to bible study for women. I allow her girl time. I do not allow her to go to a club drunk with a bunch of ho bags. Duh. So like spring break with the girls is not even close to acceptable.
Womens nature is to get away with as much as you let them get away with. If you tell them you can't control them and they go on a girls trip they are likely to cheat since you act like a simp. I trust a woman to behave like a woman.31 Reply- +1 y
"I trust a woman to behave like a woman" +1
A woman's desire to rid herself of the men in her life is rooted in two truths:
She craves life without him.
She finds his presence burdensome.
If she's at this point, divorce is inevitable. It's inevitable that she will reach this point. Marriage is cage. All cages rust.10 Reply- Anonymous(30-35)+1 y
I used to have two small dogs, and when I left for work, I had to lock them in separate rooms. If I let them roam the apartment together, they tore the place apart. Peer pressure is a powerful thing. You can trust your wife all you want, but do you trust the girls she's going with? The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
40 Reply - +1 y
Fact is a woman can cheat anyplace if she is so inclined. It does not matter if she is on a trip with friends or at work near home. You either have trust or you do not. Want to prevent your woman from cheating? Its not rocket science really. Just treat her with respect and never take her for granted.
05 Reply- +1 y
@northerngal. So "happy wife, happy life"?
- +1 y
@KrakenAttackin Generally yes. Make her happy and she will make you happy. Its a win win.
- +1 y
@northerngal. That's bullshit. Why is the onerous ALWAYS on the man? You never hear about what a woman can do to make a man happy? So fucking entitled.
- +1 y
@KrakenAttack Did i say she should not? Enjoy your single life.
- +1 y
@northerngal. How many females give a flying fuck about their men? You just show up and think that's enough. Enjoy your cats and worn out pooty.
It does not matter if you are a man or a woman if you start questioning if you can trust your partner on any level, you need to rethink that relationship and do a self inventory. Because you might be dealing with some trust issues that will destroy that relationship if you don't get help to fix them. Even if your partner is 100% trust worthy.
00 Reply534 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. So, personal experience says:
Please Gooooo. Here’s my money clip if I didn’t pay you enough per blow job for the last 6 months. GOOOOoooo ✈️ and the virus 😷 is finished in Thailand…. and you still can work remotely and lodging is free…. you 3 will have a ball…
JUST GOOOO 👋 bye 😘00 Reply- +1 y
Why be with someone you couldn't trust?
It goes the other way around, I would want to be with a guy who could go on guy's trips without me having to be worried about him getting it on with someone else.56 Reply- +1 y
@Little_Bumblebee
its not cheating if your in an open relationship ;) - +1 y
Yeah but then you wouldn't worry either way
- +1 y
very true :D
- +1 y
@Little_Bumblebee
follow me? - +1 y
Why?
- +1 y
@Little_Bumblebee
to chat
- +1 y
I think husbands should trust their wives all the time.
If you don't, don't make her your wife.
Trust is a very important part of a healthy relationship, and if you don't have that with your spouse, then why are you with them?32 Reply- +1 y
@Smoke-n-Growls. So a wife should trust her husband at all times as well?
- +1 y
Yes. Why would you marry someone you can't wholeheartedly trust?
- +1 y
No. When girls are together they talk about boys. Even if they're already involved with a guy. They'll be calling other guys cute behind his back while "shopping."
"Shopping" doesn't just mean for material items when it comes to women. They're seeking their next fling.00 Reply - 632 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. +1 y
What difference does it make if you are talking about cheating?
You think she can't cheat on you with the dude next door or the guy at the gym? LOL
I will say this regarding "trust" if a man or woman in this case of your question doesn't trust his woman then just end the relationship or don't get married.
You're just wasting time for the inevitable. It's going to end bad anyways when there's no trust.13 Reply- +1 y
@Hispanic-Cool-Guy. The difference is she can cheat while on a trip and not get caught. There is a big difference between riding some rando Chad in Vegas vs someone she (and her husband/boyfriend) will see around town.
- +1 y
@KrakenAttackin: I don't agree with that. It doesn't take hours to give another dude oral sex or to get sex and it's not like it's going to be in the open for everyone to see.
In my last job the security (female) was givin the front desk guy oral sex on the roof of the building or in a electrical room way on top of the building.
She cheated on her boyfriend and he cheated on his wife. No trip out of time needed. - +1 y
*town
Well if you don't trust her then you must know there's issues? Really there's no way to know what they would really be doing so in a way what's the point in even making it a should I trust or not. But if you still do then that really depends on your history with the wife and if you feel you have a healthy relationship with her
00 ReplyIf you don't trust you wife, why did you marry her?
Of course I would trust my wife to go on a "girl's" trip. In fact, I have. She's entitled to have like-minded friends. And I know my wife. She isn't about cheating.10 Reply- +1 y
trust YOUR judgement.
"husbands trust your wives".. that's not what the bible says and we all know why... it says love your wives! Loving your wife might mean not trusting her:)
I did not say... don't trust your wife...01 Reply- +1 y
I trust my wife because I see her character in choosing friends, I see her put up and hold boundaries and she doesn't drink. I'd rather be having fun with her, but women need time to play as well if that's what they enjoy.
Trust but verify... but yes of course in general you should trust them unless you have reason not to. Some marriages are better then others, and some men are just as bad as some women.
10 Reply- +1 y
of course, why would anyone marry someone they can’t trust?
510 Reply- +1 y
@blackcupcake
its not cheating if your in an open relationship ;) - +1 y
lol… well can’t argue with that one
- +1 y
;) like your humor :D
- +1 y
follow me?
- +1 y
hmmmm depends, what are your intentions lol
- +1 y
totally filthy with respect of course though lol
- +1 y
so you going to unintentionally follow me ;) lol
- +1 y
lol… I’m not about filthy sorry!!
- +1 y
@blackcupcake
ok if i promis to be nice? - +1 y
hmmm sure, but if you don’t respect that you will get blocked just saying…
- +1 y
Why marry someone if you obviously don't trust them?
40 Reply - +1 y
Of course, what should they do, Lock their wives or girlfriends up in the house where they can't ever leave?
20 Reply - +1 y
They should. They should also agree in calling each other at a certain time of the day while she’s on that trip. I personally wouldn’t leave my husband to go on a trip with my friends but I support that idea.
01 Reply- +1 y
@sheikalana. "Call at a certain time of day"? Yeah, because that will protect her from flying penises.
- 427 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. +1 y
A marriage is based on trust, so of course I would trust her if she goes on a girl's trip, and she should expect that of me. Similarly, I would expect her to trust me on a guy's trip.
00 Reply Only if she's wearing a chastity belt, a dog collar with panorama camera, microphone, and an electric shocker. If she wears all that, then yeah I would allow her, because as we all know, women get together in a group, nothing good comes about it.
00 Reply- +1 y
We all know what usually happens on guys/girls trips. I dont think it should be a thing while in a relationship.
31 Reply- +1 y
@lis-the-librarian. Yes.
- +1 y
I would hope so, it would be pretty concerning to not trust the person you're married to.
24 Reply- +1 y
You should trust that lust and convenience is realer than morality and self control
- +1 y
@RandomGuy1030 What a sad way of looking at relationships. If you don't trust the person you're married to, you shouldn't be married to them. Period.
- +1 y
Yeah thats why like 60% of women will die single (alone). I mean not even kids, or the kid they do have probably will avoid them. Imagine 20 or 30 years like that until you die
- +1 y
@xHoneyxBeex
its not cheating if your in an open relationship ;)
Why would there be a girls trip in the first place? I wouldn't even thinking about marry a woman with that lifestyle.
00 Reply- +1 y
There's no much point in being married to a woman you don't (or can't) trust. So the answer should be yes.
00 Reply - +1 y
If they trust thum normally, yes. A person who's only loyal from lack of opportunity is not a person who's loyal.
00 Reply - +1 y
If it is a good marriage and if she is a good woman, what is wrong with it? I insist my wife to go and make such plans but the most she'd do is a girls' lunch and rush back. Her claim: "it's only fun when I am with her".
00 Reply Hell no!
She will come back dripping more semen than a sperm bank.33 Reply- +1 y
Then why you got married to her if you don't trust her?
- +1 y
Or to have fun with their friends.
I don't know where you get you information, but you know women are humans right? Not robots with no free will.
Not just that, but on that logic with our testosterone we would be far less trust worthy to go in trips with our friends. And we can be trusted so aren't they if biologically we are more likely to cheat?
- +1 y
Umm yeah. Nothing wrong with going in a vacation with your friends
10 Reply This is why I need a woman with an iron will…. and friends that aren’t bad influences who get her piss drunk around player dudes
10 ReplyI'm not married, but why the hell would I want to get married if that leads me to question anything and everything she does?
20 Reply- +1 y
Why are you even in a marriage if you are unable to trust your partner
03 Reply- +1 y
I don’t think I’d be married to then if I didn’t
- +1 y
Of course. You should always trust your partner, period. I don’t get why people get into relationships with someone they can’t trust
00 Reply - +1 y
Love everyone, trust no one except your son.
That's my motto.00 Reply - Anonymous(30-35)+1 y
Yes, if you don't trust your wife then you not only married the wrong girl but you also don't know how to sustain a relationship. And I understand people have no clue what the hell I'm talking about.
00 Reply - +1 y
If she’s faithful to you, Of course you should trust her. If she cheats on you everytime she steps foot out of the house, then no and there’s other issues.
00 Reply - +1 y
well i would hope so, i mean we should have trust when anyone goes on a trip without us.
i will say that it depends on where they plan on going but i guess i would try to and hope i would be comfortable with it;00 Reply - +1 y
Yes, It Depends on the context of what there doing and if she has given you a reason not to trust her
00 Reply Sure, she wants to go on a trip without me fine, just don't expect me to be there when she gets back:)
00 Reply- +1 y
Yes the trust should be there, I’f you can’t trust your partner you shouldn’t be with that person as your partner.
00 Reply - +1 y
Yea, as long as she is a trust worthy person. If she isn’t you probably shouldn’t be married to her anyway.
01 Reply- +1 y
Getting married is a foolish idea for a man in the first place.
No, girls can't travel on their own, only women can.
So only trust your wives in women's trips, no girls trips!
lol!02 Reply- +1 y
So it depends on how they label the trip?
- https://www.youtube.com/embed/6EqFVWzOfN8
... then you don't have to worry about it.
00 Reply The reality of the situation is even if we don't cheat whether its guys or girls trips most of us don't do shit that we would around our mates and that's the bottom line
00 Reply- +1 y
Trust is the most important part of marriage. Trust is also most important part of a companionship
10 Reply - Anonymous(30-35)+1 y
Depends on the wife. AND her friends. At your age you're probably okay. If she were in her 20s I'd say no since women that age tend to cheat a lot. More than men.
00 Reply 571 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. If you don't trust your wife you shouldn't be married
10 Reply- +1 y
If you don't trust your wife then... why are you married?
071 Reply- +1 y
To be fair, it's not really about trust. It's a question of are you okay with your partner putting themselves in a position that could tempt them to cheat.
Like if your guy wants to go out to the bar every weekend alone with the boys or to the strip club on a consistent basis, tells you not to wait up he's going to be back late or the next day.
Is it really a matter of not trusting him if you don't want him to go doing that? Or are you pretty justified in the fact that you kind of just don't like that situation he's putting himself into - +1 y
I'm just saying that I've never met a group of girls who went on a girls trip and didn't want something to happen incolving other guys. It might not be out right cheating, but they absolutely want to go do something where they are going to go get male attention.
Like if they go on vacation somewhere and don't get attention from other guys it would actually feel like a letdown to them and feel like they wasted their trip because they didn't do anything - +1 y
@Jabberjaw You've either been watching too much TV or are spending time with the wrong kind of people. A girls trip and going to the strip club aren't even remotely on the same level.
I take a girls trip every year with my sister and cousin. We are all in good relationships and you wanna know what we enjoy doing? Hiking, camping, shopping, hanging out at the beach, maybe a concert or a music festival. Oh last time we took this really cool glass blowing class, and then did like a wine and paint class. It may come as a surprise but existing in public doesn't mean you are out looking for male attention. - +1 y
But circling back around to that first sentence... it is all about trust. If my husband wants go on a boys trip, which he usually does a couple times a year with is brothers and friends, I don't have an issue with him going because I trust him. The only reason I would have an issue with that is if I didn't trust him.
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To be fair, i did say bar OR strip club. You kinda just blew up one word as a way to discount the whole argument rather than addressing it. Which was, are you okay with your partner putting themselves in a position where they would be tempted to cheat?
Bar OR strip club were mere examples - +1 y
@Jabberjaw well a girls trip once or twice a year doesn't equate to going to bar every weekend... either so..
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@Jabberjaw Because I trust them not act on impulse and use good judgment, temptation could be literally any where... a co worker, a friend, your waitress.. Like I said it's about trust. If anyone was going to a bar or strip club every weekend, on a consistent basis, and staying out over night, that would be concerning... but that is an entirely different scenario than the occasional girls/boys trip.
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@Jabberjaw
I like your reasoning. It’s quite succinct and fair in my opinion.
I also understand what @Subarugirl is pointing at.
I resonate more with you more @Jabberjaw
It’s not a matter of trust per se.
You can trust all you want, but we are all just human. We have to worry about other humans influencing us, situations, conditions, and circumstances as well.
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@EmbraceThePain exactly
I've seen plenty of situations where a girl never should have put herself into. And maybe she didn't cheat. But if her man found out he would have a problem and even her friends thought she hooked up with the guy.
2:30am one weekend after a night out with friends. Calls up her baby daddy to have a talk to get some closure and goes to his place alone.
Her girl even looked at that and said "I don't condone cheating" because she saw how bad that looks. And it was just a night out with her friends without her man.
I know the girl personally. Good character, good girl, proven herself to be pretty trustworthy. But is that situation okay?
Would she be able to check with her man first and see if that situation was okay?
If her man said he wasn't okay with that, would she be justified in saying he doesn't trust her?
Or is it just fair to say that's just a bad situation she shouldn't put herself into where she may be emotionally vulnerable?
It's got nothing to do with trust. Your partner shouldn't be putting themselves in certain situations to begin with. Which is why she's having trouble just answering the question that certain scenarios she wouldn't necessarily be comfortable if her man put himself into it
And that she rightfully could voice the opinion that she doesn't want him to do it and that it has nothing to do with not trusting him - +1 y
@Jabberjaw yeah but calling up an ex isn’t the same thing as a girls weekend
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You're just dodging the point, because you know it has validity. You've yet to address it and just said laser focused in on one or two small things and said "well that's not the same" as a means to disregard the point as a whole.
Are you okay with your partner putting themselves in a position where they would be tempted to cheat? - +1 y
@Jabberjaw well originally you stated and I quote "could tempt them to cheat." and the answer is yes. There will always be opportunities, temptations, what ever you want to call it. I trust my spouse not to act on biological impulses that would destroy our relationship. If he wants to have a boys night… I trust him, he can go have fun. But a boys night is not the same thing as going a to a bar and staying out over night every weekend... you do see that right.
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@Jabberjaw well if it was happening ever weekend consistently.. then you would have a valid point.
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@Subarugirl
It doesn’t have to happen consistently to be an issue or problem.
You can trust your husband AND worry about what situations he’s getting himself into.
Your husband isn’t perfect, he’s human, like us all.
This is a more balanced mindset don’t you agree? - +1 y
Change the frequency to whatever you like. Maybe it's once a month or every other month, every other week. I don't care. The scenario will be the same. If he puts himself in that position 4 times a month you have a problem with it. But twice a month it's now okay?
Still comes back to my point.
Are you okay with your partner putting themselves in a position where they would be tempted to cheat?
Sounds like as long as it's not 4 times a month then yes you're okay with him putting himself in potentially precarious positions
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@Subarugirl. So you would be fine with your husband heading to Vegas with a bunch of guy friends. What could possibly happen?
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@Jabberjaw Very true.
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@KrakenAttackin yes I would, if that’s something he wanted to do. 100% he takes a week trip with a friend about once a year anyways, so if he’s rather spend a weekend in Vegas with some buddies, I’m totally supportive.
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If I recall, they go to a hunting cabin with no women?
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@KrakenAttackin it’s a hunting trip, but hey if they would rather go to Vegas, I’m totally fine with it. I had to go to a business trip there like 4 years ago and spend 4 days there by my self. It didn’t cause any issues
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@Jabberjaw and a person couldn’t do the same things on a work trip that they could do on a leisurely one?
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@Jabberjaw yes, because there is always temptation. He has a phone, that makes it easy… I trust him.
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@Subarugirl. Give it time. You will eventually have a wondering eye.
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@KrakenAttackin not all relationships fail... and I may be trusting and optimistic, but at least I am not a pessimist... so until I have a reason not to trust him, and insecurity isn't a valid reason, I will. Because if you don't have trust at the foundation of your relationship... it's doomed to crumble.
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@Subarugirl. You are the one with one foot out of the door. And why not? You would get to leave with cash and prizes until your Son is 18. Also, I can only imagine the brutality of divorce laws on men in Oregon.
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@KrakenAttackin I'm not at all though, and the family court is totally fuck along with justice system. The wildish bounds of your imaginative accusations never cease to surprise me... but hey what ever you need to tell yourself to justify your actions.
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@Jabberjawhaving a boys night for a few hours once a week is different between getting drunk and staying out over night every weekend. First that’s neglectful of familial responsibilities, second it’s irresponsible spending. It also depends on the couple what their definition of fidelity is. For some watching porn would be considered cheating..
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As someone who has lived that life. Going out every weekend is not expensive. It really isn't. You can be an idiot with your money. But you can also go out and have a good time without it hurting the wallet.
So I speak from experience when I say the spending part isn't the important part to you with respect to this. And if he is doing it on the weekends he's handled responsibilities all week. Overnight on the weekends is at best 8 hours out of 168 hours in a week. It's no time at all in the grand scheme of things.
It's common for people to come up with a bunch of little reasons when they're not prepared to say what the issue really is. I think I know what it is for you. You're like the average girl in that you really don't want your man spending time with other bitches when you're not around, in an environment where he will absolutely be tempted. That's what I think
But to maintain your dire stance of not wanting that = distrust you have to fabricate a way to define why this circumstance is unique in this way and that way. When really it's simple. Like most everything - +1 y
My whole point has been it's not a matter of trust but rather just not wantung your partner to put themselves in potentially precarious positions. Which makes all the sense in the world.
The problem is if you accept that premise you have to consider where it might apply to you aswell and you don't like the idea. Which is why you wiggled away from it so hard from the start - +1 y
@Jabberjaw why ask what I would do or how I feel about a situation if you are just going to imply that you have a better understanding of my relationship with my spouse than I do? Ever time I give you an answer you feel the need to tell me I don't know what I am talking about to justify your point. If yourpartner wants to cheat there are endless ways they can do that with out going to strip club or to the bar with friends. Are you even married?
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Well no you haven't. You've dodged questions multiple times over and made snide remarks along the way. When you finally gave a straight answer it wasn't me asking how you feel.
I asked if you're okay with something.
Only after you stopped saying "well that's not the same as" completely avoiding the question, you replied with no you're not okay with it.
Now the matter is establishing the why. You gave multiple little reasons that practically speaking aren't realistic. You made the case Going out consistently on weekends equates to not handling responsibilities to your family. And equates to a high degree of wasteful spending.
But it's neither of those things, unless he's not doing his job the rest of the week. I've never once implied to know your relationship in any way. Maybe you've felt that way but I never have. I'm speaking to what I know.
I'm talking about logical consistency and at least in the last comment you're making it personal or about emotions. You could have easily replied with reinforcing it definitely is about wasteful spending/not handling responsibilities and support the claim. But you've gone the route of saying well I'm just not appreciating what you feel.
It's not about that - +1 y
I'm someone who reflects on my views and open to the idea I'm wrong when faced with evidence of such.
But when you dodge dodge dodge dodge, answer questions with other questions, then give soft reply of a list of multiple little things.
It comes across as disingenuous. Because in all seriousness when someone believes something with conviction they can clearly establish why and don't wiggle around doing so - +1 y
@Jabberjaw Dodging and deflection is what she does. We all know nothing good comes from "Girls trips" or "Girls Night Out".
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@KrakenAttackin I don't know her to say, but here she has been Shifty in communication. In general when people start being vague they're attempting to deceive on some level.
Honest behavior is clear as day, and systematically avoiding being clear is a bad sign - +1 y
@Jabberjaw because you were marking false equivalents
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@Jabberjaw maybe it is for you… but I don’t have an issue with my husband going out and having fun because first of all I trust him, and second I’m not insecure I’m not insecure in out relationship. So as long as he is honest, communicating, responsible and faithful. I trust him.
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@Jabberjaw So as long as he is honest, communicating, responsible and faithful. I trust him.
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@Jabberjaw as long as he is honest, communicating, responsible and faithful, I trust him to make good choices. Because as far as I am concerned I have not reason not to trust him, so I till I do, I will co to use to trust him. I’m his wife not his mother, and it’s not my job to tell him what he can and cannot do.
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@Jabberjaw There are always qualifiers... You be okay with your spouse shopping, but not draining the savings account frivolous purchase... You'd be okay with your spouse drinking, but not to the point of becoming an alcoholic. So yeah there are conditions to what is okay and healthy.
So as long as he isn't doing anything that negatively impacts our marriage, our financial stability or his ability to be a good husband and father, I am not going to dictate what he can and cannot do for fun. He's my husband, not my child so I will treat him accordingly.
That fact that you are trying to equate a girls trip to going to a strip club every weekend isn't comparable. It's not the same frequency and it's not the same type of activity or environment. So if you want to try and make an accurate comparison, compare a girls trip to a boys trip. - +1 y
The question is straight up, without having knowledge to confirm their behavior, are you okay with this...
You just refuse to answer the question because you're obviously not and don't even believe your own opinion that you espoused in your first comment.
You "trust" Your Man if he magically only does things that you like or that you can confirm. That's why you have to throw on the qualifier of if he he acts exactly in a way that you like then you trust him
That's not trust - +1 y
@Jabberjaw No you are trying to make false comparisons, and back me into a corner by unrealistically simplifying a question by changing the original topic. In real life there are conditions to what kind of behavior at which frequency it acceptable. If you want to remove all conditions boundaries of what behavior is acceptable then that is entirely different topic.
So which one are you wanting to talk about?
Girls trips once a year being gone every weekend?
Would I be okay with my husband being gone every weekend so that he could leave us to go have fun with out us, no. It doesn't matter what he is doing or where he is going, I'm not okay with him being gone over night every single weekend.
Once a month or a few times a year, sure. That's a different scenario. - +1 y
I have not deviated from exactly what I'm talking about since the beginning. You have.
Go back to literally the very first paragraph I stated at the start. But this time go off of what I said and don't read emotion into or apply what you perceive as deeper meaning into it outside of what I actually said - +1 y
@Jabberjaw Okay the answer is no, I wouldn't be okay with that and it isn't because I don't trust him, it's because I wouldn't be okay with him being gone every weekend just to have fun away from us. The weekends are our time together since he is gone most of the week working.
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@Jabberjaw That wasn't the original question... are you asking me a different question now?
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Well the original question was if you're okay with your partner putting themselves in a potentially precarious position. Which was more general to cover all bases
You answered to an example I gave later to make it easy for you to get the logic. Since your answer added a layer I'm asking for clarity. Because my original question wasn't specific to weekends. That was just one example - +1 y
@Jabberjaw yes, I am okay with that
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I keep telling you yes..
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Your original question was “ are you okay with your partner putting themselves in a position that could tempt them to cheat.”
My answer is yes and it has been since the beginning.
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You keep asking the same question and expecting a different answer….
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Lmao no
You dodged the question repeatedly before finally giving an answer, but with a caveat. Only in the past couple comments did you give somewhat a straight answer.
If you just said yes we wouldn't be here. So stop pretending like it was that simple lol. Good lord I hope you don't have disagreements like this in your real life. Just ridiculous lol
Trying to get some intellectual honesty from you has been a full court press specifically because you didn't give a straight answer. You even justified your not doing so on more than one occasion - +1 y
@Jabberjaw well to be honest you were jumping around asking several different questions, and then acting like they were all the same thing. Next time when you are trying to ask a question make it clear , concise and don't try to make false equivalents.
What you did is asked a question then as a continuation used an example by trying to create a false comparison between being gone every weekend and a trip that takes place maybe once or twice a year.
I kept saying yes... and then you started asking different questions.
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@Jabberjaw Your original question was “ are you okay with your partner putting themselves in a position that could tempt them to cheat.”
My answer to that question is yes and it has been since the beginning, but you were including additional conditions and examples such as "Like if your guy wants to go out to the bar every weekend alone with the boys or to the strip club on a consistent basis, tells you not to wait up he's going to be back late or the next day.".
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@Subarugirl
Why is it bad to wonder or worry about where you’re partner is going and what exactly they are doing? Especially depending on the venue.
Do you not want to come off as insecure, jealous, or something?
To be honest, if I didn’t love or care about a woman, I wouldn’t ask or wonder where she’s going or exactly what she’s doing.
I’ve heard of people in relationships doing suspect things in certain venues that they would never do in the company of their significant other.
They’d go home and say “everything was fine” and rinse and repeat.
This doesn’t have to mean full blown cheating, but it can be anything else that you wouldn’t do in the company of your signficant other.
Trust is transparency.
Not just someone’s word. - +1 y
@EmbraceThePain
I never said it was bad to worry. I said that not being able to trust your spouse is bad. Projecting your own insecurities into your spouse isn't healthy either.
When my husband and I go out with friends we tell each other were we are going and who we are going out with, that's just a basic level of respect in a marriage.
Trust is built and it is earned, so unless things are happening that damages that trust like a breakdown in communication, disregarding boundaries that have been established, secrecy, or dishonesty. That's why there are boundaries. Just because I trust my husband to be faithful and not do something that would damage our married doesn't mean the trust is unconditional. But I know him well enough and trust him enough that I wouldn't have an issue with him going on a boys trip, or to the bar or the club with his friends. - +1 y
@Subarugirl
Okay, but better question would be.
What if he wasn’t like you.
What if he questioned you more than you do him? What if he wondered/worried more about where you are, what you done, etc.
In other words, how are you—he is not in this regard.
Would you be like “hey, I don’t question you, so you shouldn’t question me?” - +1 y
@EmbraceThePain No not at all, if he wanted to know where I was going and who I was going with I wouldn't have an issue telling him. I tell him before he gets the chance to ask because that is what you do in a marriage. A good example of that was when I took a girls trip last year, I talked to him about who was going, what our general plans were and where we were staying. If he had any concerns I would address those. The same thing applies in reverse. How ever as adults we know that we have no right to dictate what the other person does, that what a parent does to their child, not how spouses should treat each other.
491 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. Men should not trust their wives, period. Trip or no trip.
27 Reply- +1 y
Then why you got married to her if you don't trust her?
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Why would anyone marry a woman they don't trust?
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@This_Is_My_Opinion8 Over time, things can change.
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They can. Som for sure change. Still the day they change to the point one can't trust his wife anymore it's bett ti just divorce.
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@This_Is_My_Opinion8 People change. Women start getting FOMO especially if their friends are still riding the carousel and hitting clubs. Women are very susceptible to peer pressure.
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@KrakenAttackin yes people change. For the worse, or for the better.
Well, if you don’t trust your wife enough to be at ease when she’s on a girls’ trip, then you have bigger problems than that. Just divorce her.
00 Reply- Anonymous(36-45)+1 y
Girls trip is just another name for a quest for strange dick.
00 Reply - Anonymous(18-24)+1 y
Maybe not sex but it would be too tempting to give a random blowjob.
02 Reply- Opinion Owner+1 y
@D4nielv Probably not.
- 414 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. +1 y
If she wants a "girls only" trip, your marriage is over.
10 Reply If you can't trust them, you shouldn't have married them. This goes for both men and women.
10 Reply- +1 y
If you don’t trust your spouse you should have never married them
00 Reply Lmao... A woman who is a good wife does'nt do girlfriend parties anyhow and the husband the same.
02 Reply- +1 y
Why not?
Id hope so , then why would you get married. Isn't it sinful and you'd goto hell and all that crap?
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