Why must I do so much while my husband does the bare minimum?

[LepardLashes]

Marriage is a scam, i can't believe i got married to a whole adult but instead of my life getting easier it got significantly harder... from me having to maintain his old ass luxury car and it still doesn't work to me now having to buy him tools because he wants to fix his other car and if i don't I'm not a partner, he wants to have a side hustle so this week he gave me 200 to pay a mortgage of 1200 and our bills of about 400. when i asked for his half he said it's impossible for me not to have it because i make more than him and that i'm lying i either have a savings somewhere or something... i do not. he's not going to give it to me because we are a partnership. i had to beg cry and fight for his half of at least the mortgage, im still paying all the bills, groceries, internet and cleaning and cooking - but i've given up on cooking honestly and making him lunch for work i just feel like he doesn't deserve it he's also super mean... im on antidepressants but they're not working im just too sad... what should i do?

[Curmudgeon]

1. Definitely DO NOT have children with him. If you already have, you are stuck.

2. "I've given up on cooking honestly and making him lunch for work" - and have you told him exactly WHY? You should make it clear to him that you are overwhelmed, and he needs to pitch in a bit more.

3. And on a follow up to #2, it is time to sit down and hash this out with him. DO NOT "hint hint" or be passive aggressive about it; men like things blunt and straightforward. And DO NOT "nag" about everything wrong, just pick specific well defined examples.
(a) His car tinkering is just not affordable, time to get a newer economy car that is reliable.
(b) He needs a stable job, side hustles are just that, side hustles done while "moonlighting" or "weekending" after work.
(c) You need a bit more help around the house.

Don't complain about vague dissatisfaction, make your examples of what is not working concrete and well defined.

He might counteroffer; if he does that, this is actually GOOD, it means he is taking your complaints seriously, as opposed to him just agreeing ("yeah, sure...") just to end the argument for now but nothing really changing.

[Curmudgeon]

By the way, how did it go? What happened?

[Gent207]

Proof of the importance of discussing in-depth the 4 Pillars of Marriage: Money, Kids, In-Laws and Sex.
Each of these pillars keep a marriage going or bring it to it's knees.

[LazerBean]

How much of this stuff was discussed before getting married? Like where the money comes from, who pays for what, and who does what chores? You don't really sound like a married couple honestly, you sound like roommates with benefits at best.

[LepardLashes]

what do you think will make it more a marriage do you think we should have joint accounts?

[LazerBean]

I think that will help. Both of you can keep a certain amount for savings and put all the rest into a joind find. Really though you need to have a long, explicit discussion about each of your roles in the household. And try not to have kids with him.

[Anonymous]

girl get a divorce...

[notwoke]

just like me, you made a poor choice. We're fucked

[Anonymous]

Lol this funny. Divorce him and stop complaining