Hi all, My partner gave up smoking pot when we started dating and before we got married. He also decided to only drink during the weekends but I sometimes let him a cheat week which he could drink during weekdays. Last night after he just had cheat week, he told me he wants to have another one this week and revisit the idea till next year. He was adamant about it so I asked him what’s all this sudden changes? I then asked him what other else he want to do it again. He said wants to smoke pot again and have the choice to be able to do it regarding how I feel about it. I just slowly came into term about him playing up with the other stuff but him telling me more about wanting to do the other stuff is a bit too much for me to handle. This is my first being with someone who smoke, drink alcohol on a regular basis and use illegal substances. Is it reasonable of him to make an expectation for me to let him have a choice and be open minded? I then question maybe I am not the right person for him as I don’t have any experience with those stuff that I have trouble understanding it. Mainly it also goes against my values. He thought telling me those stuff was his idea to get closer to me and being honest. To make things worst, he brought up my sexual abuse when I was young to make a point about being honest. I didn’t give him the complete story about it because it was really hard for me even to just share it. I left the city after the fight to to thinks things over. I’m currently overwhelmed by emotions especially after my sexual abuse was mentioned. He asked me if we are done if he smoke weed again and at the time I said yes. I don’t want to make this ultimatum but I can’t foresee myself being comfortable about the idea in the coming years. To what extent should a wife understand their husbands choice. I always come out as controlling him when I tell him about my feeling reading about the idea. Thank you for reading and I’m hoping to get some advice.
Is smoking pot and drinking alcohol constantly a dealbreaker?
