Wedding color clash issue with my man. How do I force him to stick to my colors?

[Gloree]

We decided on three colors of the day for the theme colors so guests can choose to attend in any of the colors among the three.

We wrote down the colors separately and revealed them to each other.

I wrote gold, lilac and green. he wrote grey, lilac and green. I was happy we chose lilac and green but the clash is the gold and silver.

I told him to change his mind and take the gold since women are the ones who have the say in these things but he insists it must be the silver and I am angry but he says when I'm ready to negotiate as an adult he will be waiting which I find insulting. He seems adamant.

Please what do I do? I want him to accept the gold. The silver is not appealing to me.

Updates

1 y

Thank you all. We agreed on the silver because I came to see it looks better on the pallete. He won.

[Fireguy17]

If you wanted certain colors, why did you ask for his opinion in the first place?
All you were hoping for is that he would agree your choices from the get-go, and now since he has an opinion that is different from yours, he is the bad guy?
Get over yourself.
Marriage is about compromise, on both parties, not just always on his part.
You are showing that it is your way is all that matters from early on, and my fear is that it will just get worse.
What guy will show up in lilac or gold anyway, and a green suit?
They would look like the Riddler from Batman.
At least with grey they guys wouldn't look like such dorks.
There is no way in hell if I was invited to a wedding that I would go out and by a new outfit/suit to wear just so the color matches the brides choice.
This is what I have to wear, take it or leave it.
20 years from now will it even matter what the heck color people wore?
You will all look stupid because of what you were wearing anyway, fashions change.
Just go back and look at older wedding photos.
Quit being a bridezilla.
Your future husband has an opinion, it's about time you start valuing his opinions, or there won't be a very long future together.

[Gloree]

Sir we've fixed the problem. I hear u. And thanks.

[Guy13]

It is your wedding... he needs to stop acting like a woman and go along with your Choices. He is in for a rude wake-up call when "happy wife then happy life" hits him. He is going to have to learn that the hard way !! I am sure you will manage it.

[FilmGuy93]

It really depends on the color palate of the wedding. What are your theme colors?

Maybe you can convince him by showing the color schemes side by side. Right now, the colors that y'all agree on are colors that people typically and easily base outfits on, and I think those make sense. But, I think of accents like jewelry, watches, a tie when I think of Gold and Silver. While those accents are important, I don't know that it's as important as the thematic color. The Grey will be easier for your male guests to work with for picking out suits.

I'm a firm believer that as long as the bride is happy; I'm happy, but I have to ask... why not just eliminate the gold/silver entirely, and let your guests choose between Lilac and Green?

[OrallyFixated]

Word of advice from someone who has been married for a long time.
You don’t want to “force” him to do anything. That’s not your place. You’re not his mother. You can try to convince him, or even negotiate. But forcing him to do things is a recipe for disaster.
And in end, it turned out, he actually was correct. You said “he won.” Which mean “you lost?” Not the mindset you want to enter into a marriage with.
You’re supposed to be a team.
Not competitors.

[Elliegirl]

You agree on two colors. That’s a good start. Remember it’s his day too. It sounds childish to me for him to say he’ll be waiting when you want to negotiate as an adult, but you’re not being fair either saying women get the say. It seems the most fair thing to do is pick a different third color that is neither silver/grey nor gold, take both and have four colors, or cut the third color and go with the two you agree on.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Why did you bother to ask him for his opinion if you simply wanted to have it your way? You created a problem by doing this.

2. How a couple plans a wedding serves as a preview of how they will handle issues in their mariage. If I was him and I had a sense of your attitude on this issue, I would be having second thoughts about marrying you.

3. "He seems adamant." And he word for your atitude is. . . also adamant!

[Gloree]

I didn't ask him. We planned to send each other the colors we want and see if they match. That's what happened. But we have settled.

[Guy13]

This is what happens when there are too many hens in the chicken house

[Gloree]

What do you mean by that?

[Goforit1010]

How difficult is it to accept his choices too? Add the silver AND gold to the other two. And no, they won't clash.

This wedding isn't about you. It's about you AND him. If you wanna be married, you'd better start thinking as if there are TWO people instead of just you. Selfishness has zero place in a marriage. If you think you'll be just fine, we'll see how that works in a few short years.

[MysteriousDarkness]

How about you both write a bunch of colors on paper including gold and silver tgen fold the papersall the same way. You then put them in a bowl and have a third person (mutal friend) pick them out until gold or silver is picked. If gold is picked he has to accept it and if silver is picked you have to accept it.

[AviatorTom]

It's his day too. Let him have what he wants. People are going to be looking at you anyway. You're going to have many more important disagreements in your marriage. Learn to give in when it makes sense... compromise is key.

[mobiusforniner]

Ah, newly weds. I remember going through the wedding planning and wondering why the hell would anyone put themselves through that mess, or worse yet- multiple times.

Marriage is about compromising, not forcing. And trust me, after 10 years your conflict about wedding colors will be the last thing you give a shit about.

[qwert1234]

You can give gold to the groom side and silver on bride side.

OR

Why don't you pick another set of colors and choose the common ones that is NOT silver or gold?

Also, all I hear is me, me, me.. It's his day too. You sound controlling or selfish, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Fucking yuppies 😂 🤦‍♂️

All the men look the goddamn same in their tuxedo uniforms anyways. Give the man one goddamn color, damn.

But I know, this is YOUR wedding. He is just an accessory after all.

Good luck in your marriage 🙄 😆

[Gloree]

I smell sarcasm

[TacosRAwesome]

Gold and grey are both neutrals and can coexist. Look up palettes with all the colours and work on both being happy rather than bossing him to get your way.

[Sixgunsound]

If you are already trying to force him to do some thing against his will, you might want to call time out on the wedding and very very carefully reevaluate your life choices.

[LazerBean]

That's stupid. Nobody but you two cares about colors anyway, just use all 6 colors. No need to form a rift over stupid shit.

[Pohjolan]

Why on earth are you guys not just going with 4 colours?

Gold and silver totally fit together.

Really both of you are being just childish.

[888theGreat]

This

[bowenw]

Wedding planning is stressful. Try not to get into fights. Can you both agree on another color that isn't gold or silver?

[msc545]

If you cannot compromise on such a trivial issue, you should reconsider the whole marriage thing.

[FilmGuy93]

Wedding planning is always a stressful time though. I think we can give her a little bit of grace.

[msc545]

I agree that it is a stressful time however if this is the best she can do relative to handling stress then I think that is a bad prognosis for the future of the marriage

[TroyDT]

If you cannot find common ground here for Pity's Sake Do Not Get Married!

[EaterPeter]

Try not to. Go down without fight and leave him confused.

[exitseven]

Threaten to withhold sex on the honeymoon.

[Alltheflowers84]

Yep it's a compromise!

[Jamie05rhs]

You're really getting married to him?

[Gloree]

Yeah. Y not?

[Jamie05rhs]

Are you sure this is someone you want to be with for the rest of your life?

[Gloree]

Yeah. Very. He makes me happy

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. You guys need to work on your communication skills, though. You still seem to be not on the same page on a lot of things.

[Gloree]

Will try. thanks

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. Good luck! 💪