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Is marrying for romance primarily just a part of western culture? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(25-29) 
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It's part of the dichotomy between tribalism and individualism. Individual's says that people should marry (and do everything else) as they please. Tribalism says that people have a duty to the tribe (community) that raised them, and should choose a partner from that community, have children and raise them in that community, and use their talents to in service to their community.
Virtually NO culture has the ludicrous idea that " romance " being " swept off your feet " is some kind of viable option , and its simply NOT , the idea is idiotic , work with the obvious , the plus and minuses of the sexes , and the issues that really matter , this declaration of " love " is just purely ludicrous , and thats why the West runs at 70/30 divorce rate ( counting real divorce - maybe not actual divorce ) , because IT doesn't WORK ! #suprise
Romance is a big part of western culture, but what's really killed marriage in the west is feminism, sexual liberation, hollywood, and the porn industry. These issues have sowed division between men and women and portrayed wildly unrealistic expectations of what love is.
No. While marriages in some sense have existed for a long time for convenience or reason they’ve also always existed because people wanted to be with each other. There is no way of knowing why people before a certain time or even very recently chose to be with each other we have a huge amount of proof that people have constantly tried to be paired or have deliberately make themselves so.
you're too young to know what marriages were like back then. marriages 100 years ago were different from marriages now.
I’m too young to comprehend history? Are you 159?
You’re at most 3 years older than me let’s not pretend you’re all knowing 😅
I'm almost 10 years older than you. I'm 28
You’re 18-24 let’s not lie babe
I don't let gag know my personal information.
Okay sure honey
@asker From your comments I've read you sound like you're not American so if anyone shouldn't be telling someone what American marriage was like back then it's you. Also if you are truly only 28, then you too are too young to understand what marriage was like back then even if you were American.
@CCammiee14
why would anyone listen to an American for marriage advice? none of you can even stay married. people in other cultures can actually stay married.
Poorer countries tend to have more people that marry for money and security, if you do that in the US however, its considered gold digging, and is a reason to not marry someone.
Yes, its MUCH better to be alone than to have a loveless marriage. People should be able to financially support themselves, and having kids is optional.
just because you are not in love, it doesn't mean it has to be a cold loveless marriage.
Actually, it means exactly that.
@Asker but yes it does. If you're not in love, then that is infact the definition of a loveless marriage. Y'all can be cordial with each other sure, but I can't imagine sleeping and giving my body to someone who basically just a "friend" I'm raising kids with. Y'all are basically just roommates at that point who vow never to move out. I can't imagine it's as motivating to care for a family with there isn't a connection between y'all.
@CCammiee14 Yup.
@thespacegnome @ccammiee14
Loving someone is a choice. You just don't want to love them because you crave something better.
Its totally possible to love someone platonically.
Thats not a relationship.
i was raised in the west but ethnically and culturally south Asian, i personally find that security is more important than love - if i ever loved someone i didn't think i could have a safe/secure future with i wouldn't marry them maybe not even date them - of course i would want to like them and grow to love them but i'm reluctant to marry JUST for love
Yes fairytales were supposed to be just that
Everyone has this Disney fantasy of “Happily ever after”
But when Life happens then they want to divorce because they aren’t happy anymore
https://www.youtube.com/embed/OhVNldU127kyes, ever since we started dating in the modern sense female happiness has been in decline. female happiness peaked in 1972. dating for pure romance is impractical, romance always fades with time, you need goals and values. a relationship is economically sensible as it helps you save money
It depends on your upbringing. "Western culture" usually means that most aspects of it was forced onto people by some religious dogma. Whilst in other parts of the world, being "mated" was good enough for more logical or practical reasons including feelings for each other.
Personally I think a healthy marriage takes both aspects into consideration. There needs to be some feelings but there also needs to be a sense of responsibility.
i marry for romance and i'm Filipino although i'm afraid to be poor but if you love me and i love you i am willinh to suffer in the name of love. in my life apart from Jesus romantic love is my top most priority
That how we think here in Europe. I think what you referring to is settling down. Yes it's what people do here.
and its people like that tend to have forever lasting marriages. people in america date 10 people to find their "soulmate" then 15 years later, they divorce and say they married the wrong person.
Here we don't really believe in soul mates.
This is what people in the west don't understand. Marriage at its core is little more then a glorified contract. If you truly love someone why do you need a piece of paper to prove it? And with it becoming so much more of a hassle once you are married and trying to break it off, its no surprise that some people are just deciding its better to never get married in the first place.
Marriage based on love is a new concept in human history. It is a flimsy thing to base a marriage on.
why do you think people were able to stay married back then but not now?
Because they weren't selfish and had patience.
I think everywhere very few people marry for romance... It's almost always just for the benefits... and that's why most people are unhappy with their marriage...
most people marry for romance and have high expectations, thats why so many of them divorce
It seems to me it's the other way 🤷♂️
I heard around 50% of marriages in Japan are still arranged. I also heard a comment (in an anime) that the West introduced romance to Japanese culture.
It seems so n now a days more people r like running away from marriages tbh
because they know they can't stay married
Yeah u r right
After living in Asia, I realize that might be true.
Don't be silly. They barely marry at all these days in the West. Most live like fucking animals.
Marriage is a part of our lives if we choose for it to be. The reason the divorce rates are high is because the wrong type of people get married and don’t see it as a next step in life