After marriage, you realized that your spouse has some bad traits. How would you react? What would you do?

[penguin]

You realized that your spouse has some bad traits. How would you react?

[Finchie40]

The right thing to do is try to compromise the best you can , and do your best to be on the same page with each other , No one is perfect , , so when you learn to accept each other’s flaws and realize those flaws aren’t really that big of a deal, iit will be easier to accept those flaws as long as those flaws or traits , aren’t going to damage or jeopardize. the relationship between the both of you, There is always going to be things you don’t like about your partner or each other because No couple is perfect period , we all come from different paths in life , we are all incompatible people , just because you were raised a certain way or taught manners a certain way. it doesn’t mean your partner was raised the same as you were. When you expect your partner to be what you want them to be , you are only thinking what is best for you , you aren’t thinking what is best for your partner or your relationship , which in turn makes you a selfish person , that only cares about yourself. For a relationship to survive and for love to grow , you both have to make each other your top priority , and you both have to remove selfishness for each other and accept each other’s flaws , you can’t expect someone to do for you , if you can’t do for them , you can’t expect someone to accept your flaws if you can’t accept theirs , you can’t expect your partner to be a mind reader when you can’t read their mind so all those things will destroy your relationship period Just because your partner chews loud , or snores at night doesn’t make them a bad person. Just because your partner doesn’t take out the trash or clean the dishes when you expect them to , doesn’t make them a bad person , it makes you the bad person by expecting them to be what you want them to be. Most people in general point out other people’s flaws before pointing out their own Why you should always look yourself in the mirror before pointing fingers at someone else. Most people are just quick to blame, instead of looking at themselves first. Guys’ and Girls’ brains are wired different, it’s a proven fact , when a girl constantly nags and complains to her partner about things he didn’t do , or things he should of done that she noticed , and he didn’t , she is setting herself up for disaster , because she is only thinking what is best for her, making her a selfish person , by expecting her partner to be a mind reader, instead of focusing on all the things your partner doesn’t do for you , focus on the things he does do for you, Understand you are not perfect either. When a partner compares you or belittles you or criticizes you for things that you have no control over , they are a selfish POS person , that only cares about themselves. They think they were put on Earth to be catered to , those type of people will never experience true love , they will only experience what they think is best for them , and sadly that type of mindset will leave you with nothing , When you can’t give , you will not receive. You and your partner need to be on each others side , Not against each other

[Lliam]

My wife and I tried to be sure that we knew each other very well before getting married, but unknown things still came up.

One thing that drives me nuts is her tendency to just set things down when she is done with them. It's almost pathological. Like taking something out a drawer, using it, and then setting it on the counter instead of back in the drawer that is literally right there. Or using a kitchen knife and then just setting it down dirty on the counter. Even if she washes if off, she will set it on the counter right in front of the knife block instead of putting in the knife block.
Or using a tape measure or screw driver and leaving it on a table instead of putting it back were it belongs.
When I go to look for things and they are not where they belong, I find them in the oddest places. Like finding the fingernail clippers next to the bathtub instead of in the tray in the drawer or finding the tape measure on a side table in the living room instead of in the tool box.

I just can't wrap my mind around it. I'm not OCD, but she makes me feel like I am sometimes. LOL

We have talked about it a lot. We've had fights over it (we've been married for almost 26 years), but she can't help it. Her mind just doesn't work that way. She's already thinking about the next thing she is going to do before she finishes what she is doing.

I know she doesn't do it to fuck with me, and she has improved somewhat. But it's just the way she is.

She's a great wife and does LOTS. So when things come up, whether it's me complaining or if it's her complaining about me, we work it out. Overall, things like that are just minor annoyances.

[BasedBaeBecca]

Well, first of all it'd depend on what kind of "bad traits" these are, if it's just something innocent like leaving the toilet seat up or eating the last chocolate, I really wouldn't care much at all, because it's just not worth my time to be upset about unimportant things.

On the other hand, if it was something serious and harmful such as cheating, lying or abuse, it would be a big problem and I would either try to resolve it together or if necessary, leave the spouse.

[sheikalana]

We will have to work things out. I'm married for life I don't care what happens me and my husband promised each other that are stuck together in this until we die. Divorce is not an option in our house. We argue we communicate and we fix things.

[AviatorTom]

Learn to live with them. Your spouse us most assuredly finding similar things about you.

[BadApple69]

This is to be expected. While dating everyone is on their best behavior. But after marriage the real you is revealed. This goes for most people. Some people are themselves during dating (these are the very confident people). Most will hide their most undesirable side until the relationship becomes more comfortable.

[zebronics]

Can't agre more, being a student of Sociology, We say it's not possible to understand someone or know someone within just couple of months or years, if you want a life partner, go traditional way of searching about his lifestyle, habits characteristics from the people among which he/she grew up. For instance: childhood friend or Father of a church or Imam, or neighbours. 🌱

[strateguy632]

i add, moving in same house can help the "screening" before marriage.

[HaveNoName]

Learn to live with it because 90% of them, he or she will not change. And if you keep bringing it up, then it will always be a toxic relationship. Now if they are really bad ones (example drugs, drinking or extramarital gymnastics), then you have "other" options.

[BoopBoopBeep]

A bad trait is forgetting to flush the toilet. We talking about that or "likes to kick puppies" bad trait? The former, I'd make her get autoflushing toilets, the latter would go poorly for her.

[Lara_Croft]

Repent and believe in the Gospel and remember you're not perfect if they're simple errors. Otherwise join a Godly community to get wisdom and counsel

[Smashingdoozy]

It's simple. Don't get married. Or don't get married without living with someone for at least 3 years

[anon1903]

Try to communicate with them.

If it's something like snoring or not putting down the toilet seat down, I'll nag them. If it's smoking, I ain't taking chances, I quit.

[piblo99]

talk to them about it and try to find a nice middle ground..! depending on how bat it is...

[electromagnetic]

I’d call them out on it right away. The more you keep quiet, the more it brews go something worse.

[TheSpaceGnome]

This wouldn't happen because all traits get revealed long before marriage during the friendship portion of the relationship. Unless you marry a stranger, how would anything be unknown?

[Greta_854]

When you love someone so much you can compromise it.

[Peter_Penetrator]

If the engagement is long enough you will discover them all. Especially if you live in sin first.

[exitseven]

Check the return policy where I got her. I would see if I could get my money back or maybe get a store credit.

[nolabels]

Nightmare.

A 30-year nightmare.

I can't even talk about it right now.

[Hanrej]

Everyone does so I would think it depends on what those bad traits are and how it effects me, how young I am and how likely I can rebuild after a divorce.

[Anonymous]

uh did you not be in a relationship with them long enough before you said yes? i don't understand...

[Reem12345reem]

depends on the bad traits , if they're toxic or abusive then i would divorce ofc

[AngryCarl2]

Everyone has bad traits, even me. They only become obvious when you're no longer in love.

[Anonymous]

When we decided to marry someone we must accept them that they are not perfect
So this bad trait thingy shouldn’t be a problem… But talk it out n work it out, adapt

[Nikki1989]

I would have to end it at that point.