
What do you do if you want to get married but your partner doesn't or vice versa? Should partners agree on marriage issues?

What do you do if you want to get married but your partner doesn't or vice versa? Should partners agree on marriage issues?
If you think about it, marriage is a massive step in the relationship. Not many people are ready for that. If your partner is not interested in marrying, you don't have to break up right away. There are some things you can both do to work towards a more harmonious relationship. Waiting around forever isn't advisable; rather, talking with someone who has experience on the topic may help bridge the gap. For some people, marriage isn't necessary to embark on a lifelong commitment, and their relationships feel perfectly without it. It is so important to listen to your partner and acknowledge their point of view. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without placing blame on the other person for what you're thinking and feeling. Reassure partner. It's important to remind your partner that a disagreement does not define your relationship. My family think I don't have the higher brain function to know what marriage is, and my family would written me and half if they haven't found that I became a father to someone else's child. I'm a committed, person but sometimes when it comes to marriage; people have way too many second thoughts even it was girlfriend or boyfriend idea in the first place.
Well I'm single atm so I kind of feel like this doesn't pertain to me. You always see people on dating apps for example advertising thier goal is to get married. And I've always said I think that kind of mentality is "cart before the horse". How can you talk marriage if you aren't even seeing someone. I've always felt you getting married when you meet someone you want to spend your life with. Not because you want children or to fulfill that goal. How can you be so blaise about something so huge?
I guess what I'm saying is if it reaches a point where we're serious about eachother enough that we're talking about spending our lives together then to me that does mean marriage. If for whatever reason she doesn't want to marry me, maybe she doesn't believe in marriage or whatever. Well I'm sorry than I don't believe in a future where we are together then. Because whether it true or not it comes off as she's non committal.
It depends on how aligned we on on life milestones and other goals that would keep us together as we grow up as people. You don't need marriage to be in a long term committed relationship, but that person does need to be in a place maturity wise where yes, it is just a piece of paper that would make the relationship different. Would they want to buy a house/ or relocate to a nicer living space, and have kids in the next 1-3 years? They're willing to build their life with you in it.
Some people want marriage because they believe it'll make someone settle down, but ideally you should already be settled (emotionally) before contemplating marriage. You're not having communication issues or a large amount of unresolved problems.
That said, I would personally end a relationship because I want marriage before having kids.
I personally would end it.. cuz i believe, one who doesn't want to marry is those who actually wants to avoid the real commitment… Sure some people would argue, marriage is no different then dating, but simply more on the legal/law per country.. Cuz if thats the case, then why dont u just get married? Whats the issue there? We will get more benefits by officially declare our marriage. So yeah, back to the question again, i will end my relationship..
And for those who seek marriage at the end of relationship, PLEASE, before u guys are long in into the relationship, thats the first question u should ever ask to ur partner..
Opinion
22Opinion
We are engaged and getting married on April 27, 2024, so I don’t need to worry about that issue!
I wouldn't be with someone in the first place if they didn't wanna get married. However I would be okay with signing a prenup before and papers saying whatever money and stuff we had before and earned/got during the marrige will be kept separate if we get divorced. But in my mind divorce doesn't exist. Once you get married it's for life.
Yes
Because you are NOT mature enough to be married if your response to a TINY problem is to end your relationship. AND that is likely WHY your partner does NOT want to marry you because mentally you are more a child than you are an adult.
.
And yes a passing conversation about getting married depending on context, how long you've known each other, etc. is a TINY problem. Mature people let it be and address the topic later on. CHILDREN like you throw a tantrum and why smart people do NOT marry you.
Nope i would not because my boyfriend doesn't think that marriage money is worse it but maybe his opinion will change some day he loves me a lot and I know it i am not insecure about him at all his father was like that as well and he still married his mom and even had kids
Well maybe he doesn’t believe in marriage and is not religious.
🤷🏻♀️ I’m personally not religious, I’m not a fan of marriage. I don’t believe on either of those. And marriage is too costly and problematic for couples. You could do a MOCK marriage. But not a legal one.
No
I honestly dont get it why people see marriage still necessary nowadays or portray it as the ultimate proof of love. Why can't people just stay as a couple without marriage? I can truly understand why many guys dont want it, since its pretty much always a loss for the man and he'll get ripped off in divorce court.
Yes, because eventually it would be frustrating for both. For instance, I don't wanna get married. If I had a girlfriend who suddenly wanted to get married, there would be a conflict and I would breakup.
It's very important to talk about essential things during dating. Not: "you like green? I like green also!"
If you don't want the same things, then there is no point or purpose in continuing the relationship any longer.
Never been confronted with that before so I can't say. I'd like to think I'd stand my ground on the whole no marriage thing. But say I'm older & she's objectively good for me... I just may adjust my boundaries to be a bit more inclusive.
I mean yeah they need to share their views on life especially something that big. There needs to be a common shared belief with marriage. That's needs to be discussed at the beginning of the relationship too.
If one really does and the other really doesn't and you can't come to a compromise then absolutely you should break up. Living with resentment in a relationship is going to destroy it anyway.
if you can't agree on one or the other or a compromise then yes the relationship needs to end. unfortunately not being able to agree on this is a deal breaker for a relationship
I’ve been with my partner for going on 9 years. He proposed to me years ago. We have decided mutually that actually getting “married” traditionally isn’t something we are concerned over. We have a deep bond and a piece of paper isn’t going to change that. Maybe even complicate things in the future who knows. But we feel more spiritually connected and don’t find it necessary to marry how others do. That’s just us
Yes. Can try to ecaluate why amd change the answer but if not in synch then whats the point?
Maybe there's other creative solutions but will come back to marriage
I personally don't really care that much about marriage in general so it wouldn't matter to me either way. I know for some people it's make or break which is fine.
Yes. I would. If our end-state goals are not compatible then what’s the point of the relationship? I’m simply wasting time.
Yes, why put off the inevitable. It is like this,
If a person doesn't want marriage, and you do, what's the point of being with them. Same with kids
I don't want either, so, I want someone who also doesn't want either
Yes, racists, I'm white
if he doesn't want to get married i will end the relationship because marriage for me is important dince i'm a Christian who adores Christ
If the endgame is marriage for one person then they should not be with someone whose endgame is not marriage. What would be the point? Have sex until you are too old to find someone to marry you?
Without marriage, there would have been a limitation to how much I could integrate her into my life both financially and emotionally.
If she was against it, I suspect I'd see it as a lack of commitment.
Yes, that is too big of a deal to ignore.
I’m not trying to just date the guy forever. I want to level up eventually so yea
Well, I feel if a person strongly feels about a subject — they should discuss it in the beginning stages of a relationship.
There would have never been a relationship to begin with.
Would seem to me that until both are wanting to get married it's not going to happen.
no you can always work something out if you want to
That isn't a good example of opposites attract. I'd bounce. Even though I dig her enough to get married to her. But she doesn't want to get married. I'll have to believe it'll never work.
Yeap. If they want marriage when I don't, then I'll end the relationship
Yes. I want to get married so the man would have to be on the same page.
Then it is time to move on and find someone who wants the same thing as you do.
Then what is the point? All it’s going to do is create resentment when two people are not on the same page.
I think it would be a tough hurdle if both people didn’t have similar views on marriage.
Yes of course. Like what's the point in building resentment and wasting time.
most of people would, but i am one of those with no marriage in minds, like it means something more then just couple as before...
Talk about it with your partner, is this decision something that may change in the future or if it’s set in stone, its best to leave with fond memories than deal with heartbreak later
I do NOT want to get married, so if someone insisted on it, I am done.
I'd break up yes if we weren't on the same page regarding values like marriage
But yes of course.
It. Ends. Here.
Yes, I would have to.
This is pure manipulation not love.
Needs wants when where what
Ofc it ends there lol
Break up
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions