I am waiting my fiance to move on from her previous 10 year relationship emotional hangover, do people succeed in this?

[Anonymous]

And i am getting hurt and emotionally drained in this process because i am giving a lot of efforts hut she ismt that affectionate towards me but only giving efforts to give time to me.

[Oliverlogan263]

It's tough to deal with an emotional hangover from a long previous relationship. A few thoughts:

- It can take time, like over a year, for some people to fully move on. Hearts heal at their own pace.

- Keep communicating how you're feeling, but don't get too resentful. She's probably still processing things internally too.

- Suggest doing new couple activities together to make fresh memories. Concerts, sports, hiking - anything to bond over besides just talking.

- See if she'll open up more about her past relationship. Understanding where her head's at might help you not take it personally.

- Make sure she's putting in effort too though, not just set on auto-pilot. A relationship is a two-way street.

- Don't lose yourself completely trying to "fix" things. You need to take care of yourself emotionally too.

If she's genuinely trying but it's still too much after many more months, you'll have to decide if waiting it out is worth the pain. But for now keep communicating and trying new stuff together to forge your own connection. With time and work, people can move on.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot mate

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome man

[Anonymous]

Previous 10 year relationship? What happened w that relationship? She dumped him? He dumped her? If he dumped her she wasn’t the one who wanted this. Her heart is still w him, most likely it’ll always be. Let’s say you two moved on finally. A year later he came back. Chances are she’s going to be messed up emotionally cause like I said her heart was still w him. So if he came back it would just stir up those feelings again. How long have you two been together? I don’t even think you two should be dating at this point because it sounds as though sue doesn’t know what she wants. I think you’d be better off meeting someone else. Dude you’re someone else’s second choice, not their first. Don’t settle for being second.

[Bethany22]

Wow that statement is loaded. Probably a large reason why you felt comfortable enough proposing to this woman was due to the emotional distance she likely gave you due to still thinking of her ex. Now, the way for you to make her come towards you is to go back to the stage of uncertainty yourself. Create some distance, and if she notices, then tell her that you've become unsure of whether she is the right one for you. Reasure her that you love her, you just need some space. Then maybe she will come towards you.

[Asker]

“Probably a large reason why you felt comfortable enough proposing to this woman was due to the emotional distance she likely gave you due to still thinking of her ex. “ I didn't get this?

[Bethany22]

people are drawn to people they need to pursue. Her emotional distance due to thinking of her ex rather than you made you want to try and close the gap between you. If she had been too eager about you, you wouldn't have felt comfortable proposing to her, as you'd fear disappointing her if the relationship didn't work out.

[Anonymous]

Your comments and question don’t add up. I’m thinking you wanna be with her and she won’t leave the man for you

[madhatters4]

whether or not she succeeds is secondary to the fact you shouldn't be engaged to a woman still hung up on on her last relationship. when she gets over the past relationship then maybe you can consider engagement.

[Asker]

Not engaged, but its fixed for 6 months later. Please suggest for what i asked

[madhatters4]

you will not succeed in getting engaged a person who is still hung up on someone else.

you called her your fiance so that's why i and others may suggest you are engaged

[Asker]

I want to know are people able to get over such kind of relationships?

[madhatters4]

yes. but it can take days, weeks, years, if ever.
a 10 year relationship means a lot of stuff to workout.
can it work itself out? yes. will it work itself out? i don't know.

you can't be engaged with these types of up in the air issues though. it's a perilous endeavor

[Anonymous]

Why are you "engaged" to someone who is not over a previous relationship?

[Asker]

Not engaged, but its fixed for 6 months later. Please suggest for what i asked

[jahaims]

You are engaged to someone who isn't emotionally healthy enough to move on from a relationship from 10 years ago. That isn't normal.

[Asker]

Not engaged, but its fixed for 6 months later. Please suggest for what i asked

[jahaims]

You said fiance. That means engaged.

[Asker]

Okay… will correct. But what about the question?

[jahaims]

Neither of you will succeed based on the ignorance demonstrated in your question

[Anonymous]

Does she have kids and what happened with her last relationship?

[Asker]

They couldnt marry, no she doesn't have kids

[Opinion Owner]

Well why they couldn’t

[Still-alive]

You are basically a rebound...