If you claim that you want to marry your partner, why after say 3+ years are you still not willing to propose, or say yes to a proposal?

[Anonymous]

Outside of long distance, school, financial issues, and legal troubles, why would someone be incapable of saying yes to someone or proposing if they've dated so long term like that? After such a long time, what else is there that you're waiting to figure out? Aren't you just at that point hoping they'll let the idea of marriage go, or break up with you? What would say 5 more years tell you?

[Anonymous]

My mum and dad didn’t get married until 17 years after they started dating. Money was a big factor for them. They also had 5 kids as well

my now exchanged sister didn’t get married until 9 years after she dated her now husband. I think in her case it was more the guy was more focused on wanting to buy a home first and his parents not exactly approving of my sister because she had a child to someone else before she met her now husband. When she fell pregnant to her now husband before he was her husband his parents demanded a DNA test to prove the kids were his kids and they were their grandchildren. Took his parents years to accept her but they never once accepted her child from another relationship.

I feel these days it can be the woman herself. I mean so many women except the guy to spend $10k on a big diamond engagement ring, so he has to spend years saving to afford the ring. Could also be that the guy may want to buy a home first. Could be that he might secretly not want to get married because many people feel a marriage is just a piece of paper. Could be that he has concerns because you sometimes hear horror stories about people getting married

[Vesuvius87]

Wanting to do things and actually doing them are two different things. Anyone can want things. Dreaming cost nothing. Nothing has changed. The relationship is still a waste of time if there is no progress. People can lie about "loving you so much" but yet don't trust you enough to marry you. Without trust there isn't love nor a relationship. So nope they don't love you if there is any distrust and hesitation on marrying you.

[Anonymous]

Because that's a good way to end the relationship. I don't string her along though. She wants to get married and I flat out tell her I won't. Because I've seen it time and again. If she wants to dump me she can dump me now I tell her. I'm not marrying her just so she can turn around and divorce me. Virtually NO WOMAN means forever when they marry anymore and if I say I do I mean forever.

[Asker]

Seriously though, I don't get this? My friends are literally in this relationship and at least from the outside looking in, it's like one is gaslighting the other with promises, because you're either in or out at that point, I feel. Now obviously, I'm not in their relationship, but if someone says, I'm ready for marriage, year 1, uh, year 2, now year 3....something doesn't add up...but (insert Kermit the frog meme) that's none of my business.

[Opinion Owner]

I'd have to know THEM to have a better idea of this. I don't know if they serious people or happy-go-lucky. I don't know if they're vindictive (playing of your gaslight comment), they might be I don't know them.
Either way I wouldn't worry about or involve yourself in any way. You don't need that stress.

[HawkPerception]

For me, it would likely be a money issue that would prevent me from proposing. If I tell her that I want to marry her, then that's my intention and she can either wait until I'm either financially ready or leave me because she can't wait.

[sheikalana]

Maybe he needs you to push him. Men are like that sometimes. Or maybe he's not yet 100% secure he can provide for you despite having a well paying job and being financially stable. It could be so many reasons. If I was in this situation I would bring it up and say 'I know you've mentioned before you'd like to marry me so I was wondering why is it taking so long for us to take that step?'

[Asker]

Thankfully I don't need to push anyone, but I have some friends in this type of relationship and I'm like, don't know what to tell you, good luck because anything one does, the other may react badly or feel like nagging.

[JacobJordan]

Because he may still see undesirable behavior and that is making him question his decision to propose. Wives get proposed too. Girlfriends don't. You want to be a wife act like a wife

[Asker]

How does on act like a wife exactly? My friend is really nice, hasn't stepped out, they live together...someone seems to be stringing someone along. I don't tell people what to do with their relationships, but as I said to someone else here, if you've been promised marriage year 1, then 2, now it's three...seems like someone is gaslighting someone.

[JacobJordan]

Being a wife is very simple. It consists of a grand total of 4 things
1. Be a feminine woman (demure, encouraging supportive kind caring etc)
2. Be in the realm of healthy (not obese, not thin, not super had habits)
3. Don't turn things into arguments we already deal with enough bullshit.
4. Take care of your man (food, drinks, intimacy, etc)

Yes a man has many of the same things and more so let's skip the assumption that it is different. If a woman does though 4 things consistently she should have that marriage/ring whatever quite easily. If she is doing those things and doesn't then that is the man's side and provided he is doing his part she should know why. If she doesn't and is doing her part then he is stringing her along.

[Amara_09]

3+ years?


Lol, you better die with them, till death do us apart shit


I get that you want to date but lol, for how long till 30+ plus years go by?

[ProbablyClueless]

Could be a money thing. Like the guy just doesn't have the ability to support and provide the way he wants to be able to.

[Asker]

As far as I know, my friends are well off. Obviously people can lie and hide things, but I've never seen them struggle for money.

[ProbablyClueless]

A boyfriend is a different deal from your other friends though.

[Nikki1989]

If you are not ready after 3 years, you probably should never marry.

[strateguy632]

because not sincere. time for ultimatum. now or someone else.

[KrakenAttackin]

He may not see you as wife material. Women act until they are married. Once. married whatever you don't like about a women quadruples as her true self comes out.

[jahaims]

Marriage is just paperwork. The commitment to each should come way before marriage.

[EddieWinehouse]

if i want some girl, i want her. thats it, no in between

[LazerBean]

He lied 🤷‍♀️