Do the bride and groom have a right to choose a child free wedding?

Question

Personally I believe weddings are for family and friends to come together. What is the purpose about having a child-free wedding. What is it that now a days especially millenials decide to have child free wedding. What is the point of not having the guest bring their children? Why or why not would you decide to have children free wedding?

Angelo75 · Accepted Answer

Well simply put... "whose" wedding is it? The bride and groom.
Who are the ones that are actually celebrating the fact that they are entering a marriage? The bride and groom.
Who are the ones that will be affected the most when having bad memories of things that didn't go the way they wanted on the wedding day? The bride and groom.
If a wedding is happening and you don't agree with decisions made, it should be accepted that it is the special day of "the bride and groom".
If the ones that are "invited" to the wedding don't agree, and they TRULY LOVE the bride and groom, they will be selfless enough to accept the decision of the bride and groom.
If they can't handle the decision, just don't go!
What NOBODY should do is to start an argument with the bride and groom.

For "friends and family to come together" there are parties and BBQs on other days.
Wedding days are about "the wedding".

but hey... I'm abstract and old-fashioned like that.

TonyV · Accepted Answer

It's their wedding, it's for them, it can be whatever they want it to be. Maybe someone dosent want to spend 10k on their day to have to make sure the wedding is pg13 and a safe environment for children to cry, scream and piss/shit themselves.

You as a parent may think your little "bundle of joy" and everything they do is cute but if your kid digs his fingers into my pricey wedding cake I won't find it cute at all and we will have problems.

EmmaMary · Accepted Answer

@alwayreckles93

Although of course it is their very special day, and quite rightly they can choose how and what they want for that day.

Personally I cannot possibly imagine a wedding without children being involved, even if they are running around causing mischief!

I know my own wedding would never have been completed without the joyous sound of children.

elizamichale1 · Accepted Answer

It is their right n their big day tbh but i would never do such a thing personally... children can get problematic i know but still they bring joy n happiness too

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. At wedding receptions, the cost is often based on how many people were seated and fed, and there is not cheaper rate for children. At my recent wedding, the cost per guest was an average of about $80 per person. If you brought two children to my wedding, you would have cost me an extra $160. I am willing to pay the cost for the guests with whom I want to celebrate, but I doubt I am going to be celebrating with your 4 year old daughter. Would YOU be willing to pay $160 to bring your two children to a wedding reception? If not, why would you expect ME to pay $160?

2. In some wedding venues, seating is very limited. I have attended a wedding where there was not one empty seat and there was not room to set another table. If someone had brought their child along as a surprise guest, someone would have not had a seat.

3. A wedding is a celebration by adults and children are just a distraction at such an event.

4. Have you ever been to a wedding at which someone's unruly child was running around screaming like a monkey with its butt on fire? Wedding receptions tend to be in the evening hours when children are tired and irritable and a reception is a high stimulation event.

5. Someone not wanting your children at their wedding doesn't mean they hate kids or they hate your kids.

TheRealPepperPotts · Answer

Of course they do. And you have the right to decide whether or not to attend. It could be a cost thing, it could be a venue capacity thing, it could be health reasons for a vulnerable family member, it could be any numbers of reasons we are not privy to.

It doesn't mean they hate kids.

I have personally only been to weddings with kids, so I haven't had the experience without kids present. But I imagine it would be nice for parents, too. They "need" to leave their kids in order to go, what a tragedy. :D It would probably be a nice break for them and an opportunity to have a mini-getaway together.

Summeroflove · Answer

It’s the bride and groom and irs THEIR wedding. Your wedding you and your husband can choose to do it however you want.  Look. Everyone is different if you don’t want to go nobody can force you

DishLady · Answer

Yeah, why not? Open bar + adults only invite? Pfft.

Anonymous · Answer

You are a guest of the bride and groom. If you don't like the dress code, the food choices, the location, or a child ban, you and everyone else are free not to attend. When its your wedding, have all the kids you want flowing from the rafters, but not everyone loves YOUR kids, not everyone wants to spend money on YOUR kids, not everyone wants a wedding that has to have childminders for YOUR kids.

My sister in laws wedding is what did me in. She had everything that could go wrong go wrong---tailor ruined her dress, flowers didn't come in the right colors, it flooded the day before the outdoor ceremony, there were tons of wasps everywhere in the outdoor dining area (and her nephews were allergic), the city threatened to shut down the venue due to some ordinance about lighting fires...on and on...so of course, as she is dropping a few tears, dad arm in arm coming down the aisle, her neice loses her absolute sh*t because she doesn't want to sit down. She starts hurdling her chair into the aisle, she's throwing a full blown tantrum, instead of looking at the bride, everyone is looking at this kid running up and down the aisle pushing into the photographer, screeching at top volume.

The kids dad was trying to wait it out or something crazy like that when clearly there was no such action happening, so I had to run down the aisle as a bridesmaid and try to pull the kid aside, but that made her scream even louder. It was a sh*t show. So everyone had to stop, the dad had to scoop her up, and believe me, she screamed and kicked the full length of the 10 minute walk back to the barn where the reception was to be held. So, nah, no kids at weddings for me is fine. Adults are allowed to have all the fun they want without kids in tow. Sometimes its just nice to do that instead of having to leave early because the kid is tired or threw up from eating too many nuggets.

molonski2 · Answer

I agree with you , it's a ludicrous request.
When my girls were little , I was in this situation twice , I told both " I'm sorry if the girls can't come I'm unable to attend " both gave me a waiver , but with that came some guilt was they were the only children.
It's just an act of being utterly selfish , children are part of our lives and should be part of the celebration itself.

MrOracle · Answer

Of course they have that right - it's their event and they are paying for it. But you can also choose not to attend. No one is forced to do anything they don't want to do.

They may not want a bunch of kids running around, complaining, distracting people, etc., or they might have planned a more adult-oriented event where kids would be miserable, or maybe they just don't want to pay for 5 expensive meals for every couple they invite. Whatever the reason, they absolutely have every right to make the rules for attending their wedding.

And you can choose to attend under those rules, or not attend. It's really very simple.

Yes, marriage is TRADITIONALLY about bringing families together, but let's be honest: how many people have traditional values today, or even know what traditional values are? Most of society has been disavowing and bad-mouthing traditional values for the last 70 years. You can't really be surprised that people don't have traditional values today.

Anonymous · Answer

You have to question their intentions to get married if they don't like children.
Are they really just making a statement of their personal feelings which is a waste of time or actually committed to work to build a family (contributing to sociality having a future)?

PrettyCrumblBb · Answer

I always found that weird. Do they not have little brothers and sisters, little nephews and nieces, or little cousins? Don't they want them to be part of their special day?

Anyway, it's their wedding day and they can do whatever they want but it makes them look snobbish in my opinion. Or maybe they don't want to pay for extra plates 😂 either way, I'd want my whole family there.

HawkPerception · Answer

A child free wedding just entails that there won't be an issue with children running amok and people having responsibilities with them. It lets all the adults let loose with no worries. They can drink all the booze they want, say stuff that they can't with the kids around, etc. I would also like my wedding to be child free I think. I'm unsure at the moment what I'd actually choose to do. But I know I want to let loose and be able to do anything I want on that day. It would suck if someone lost their kid at the wedding too.

As for if the bride and groom have the right to say if they want kids at the wedding or not, they absolutely do. It's their wedding. If you don't want to come if your kids can't come, that's your right, but it's the couples day. Not anyone else's.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

It depends on who is making it.. If they are paying for it themselves, they can do what they want.. Only they have to remember, when they have kids, nobody is going to invite theirs!

Anonymous · Answer

It's THEIR wedding, not yours, if they don't want crotchgoblins around, that's their perogative... personally, I get it, people are expected to act differently or get chastised because "you can't say/ do that there are kids around!'

Maybe they know how some adults in your friends/ family don't discipline their kids or teach them manners and rather than single them out a blanket rule is easier. Maybe its that everything having to do with planning a wedding is expensive and based on number of attendees and they'd rather have more of THEIR friends than to have uo to 40% of the attendees be children... maybe they don't think a 6 year old can properly appreciate a $100 dinner.

It's their wedding, it's their call

DrPepper12 · Answer

ABSO-FUCKIN-LUTELY!! Yes it puts a burden on parents but their wedding, their show. I would NEVER go that route cuz kids ARE family.

ariadneR · Answer

Absolutely they do. It's about what they want.

Like you though I see it as something for family and friends. I have 3 niblets (niece and nephews) under 4, and another is 10. I can't imagine them not being there.

NathanDavis · Answer

I wish I had that option... lmao of not having to go to any wedding as a child

Jessikaah91 · Answer

My parents did, they only had me and one of my cousins there because he was ring boy and I was flower girl.. other than that no kids were invited. the bride and groom definitely has the right to choose.

tstarr17 · Answer

A good friend of mine just got married a few weeks ago, and did a child free wedding, so I think I have a good answer for this. Their wedding was at a nice Hawaiian hotel, and the reception was in a somewhat cramped room with a balcony. There was also an open bar, so people could drink a lot. Not exactly meant for anyone to bring their kids to.

Serkee · Answer

Well sure, it's their wedding, they get to choose who gets to come. I couldn't imagine a wedding without kids running around though.

foxsquirrell · Answer

Of course they have the right! Its their wedding!

Why opt for a child free wedding? To avoid all the noise, all the running around, and all the responsibility that comes along with these children.

If you want your guests to enjoy 2 or 3 hours in peace then do everybody a favor and put a ban on children.

Sometimes I wonder if some question are asked simply to cause a stir!

RavVid · Answer

They could but it seems to me that it misses the fundamental point that it is celebrating a family formation..

Fireguy17 · Answer

Yes.
We did.
We are older, but have younger friends with young kids.
They can be a big distraction, so I forgot how we worded it but in essence it was no paste eater allowed.
Everyone was fine with it.

Purpleronnie · Answer

I don’t want to have any say in how people want to have their weddings and what guests they want to invite and who to leave out. They’re wedding , they’re choice

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Yeah my brother and his wife did. It made for a better time since the wedding party can drink and stuff and not hear whining kids running around or have to worry about them.

Anonymous · Answer

Its a way for the couple to tell everyone that they are insufferable douchebags without saying that they are insufferable douchebags.

Nifrayu · Answer

Of course they do. I personally don't understand why anyone would choose to exclude children from the wedding, but they have the right.

Massageman · Answer

The "right"? They can do what they want and place constraints on the limits of their "love", of course. And, the invited guests have the right to refuse their hospitality limitations, as well.

Apple1996 · Answer

It's kind of weird to not want kids at a wedding. At that point they might as well have a private wedding alone if they want no distractions

exitseven · Answer

I went to one last year. Little kids were not allowed. It was a fancy wedding. If it was my kids I would have used it as an excuse to get out of going.

DJB72 · Answer

The decision to have children at the wedding is the bride and groom's, and only theirs.  It's not "selfish". It's  their  day.

MrGSpotHer · Answer

Yes the kids have to be inside a plastic box, one that fits over the head is sound proofed and has a trap door for food. You know if the parents want them there they badly and yes this would apply to my own too..

electromagnetic · Answer

It’s their wedding so they should be allowed to do as they please

Kelley1 · Answer

It is their event. The can restrict invitation to those they want to attend.

noohair · Answer

Have the party late where kids would not be a ggod fit as they would be too tired.

NYlatefun · Answer

Of course, it's their wedding. They have the right to do whatever they want.

OddBeMe · Answer

Yeah but with family…sounds like getting off on the very wrong foot. But any event you’re hosting can have whatever rules you want. Mostly…. no sacrificial killings. Been tried,

Redstang88 · Answer

Yeah, it’s their show. Who wants a bunch of shrieking rugrats running around?

MacDaddyRico · Answer

It's their wedding, so yes, they have that right. Many people get married quietly with no family or friends.

Anonymous · Answer

they have a right to select who their guests and the guests have a right to show up or not

LiamJHayden · Answer

The wedding is for the bride and groom, so yes, they have that right.

FarmBoy13 · Answer

It’s your wedding, your choice on who attends

IWILLPLEASEYOU · Answer

Not my choice but it is a special thing for they're making it there day

Anonymous · Answer

They don’t bring their pets, they can leave their kids too

SugarSugarplum · Answer

yes, but it's kind of a dick move.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Kids are the best part of the reception.

Alex-Snow · Answer

Why not... it is their special day.

OtterMan68 · Answer

Yes, they come up with the guest list

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

The more people the worse

Drewtate · Answer

Absolutely...

Do the bride and groom have a right to choose a child free wedding?

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