Would you marry someone who was terminally ill?

Question

Hey Guys and Gals,

I met someone (M75) a few months ago who was so pleased to be getting married. He'd never been married before and was beyond smitten with his bride-to-be (F65, mom of two), never had kids, and had the worst dating streak from what our mutual friend had told me. In chatting, something was asked by our mutual friend that seemed like a red flag, so I asked a follow-up question and it turns out that the man is terminally ill. While I can understand a man with no living relatives would want to leave his estate etc to someone... I suddenly looked at the bride-to-be as rather a gold-digger. Why marry a guy who only had a few months left to live?

I tried to justify it... perhaps it was a love match... perhaps it was just bad luck... perhaps they didn't know he was ill when they decided to marry... perhaps... perhaps.. perhaps... Perhaps it was none of my business. (And it's not.)

After all, the standard vows say, "... for better or worse... in sickness and health..."

But it made me wonder, if you knew that someone who had feelings for you was terminally ill... and you were in a position of needing his/her financial resources, would you marry the person who only had a few months left to live? What do you think?

TonyMetal___86 · Accepted Answer

Personally i'll never marry a woman for her money or estates even if i didn't have a dime for a loaf of bread!

I'll only marry a girl for love and to make a family even if it has to be only me and her withour having babies because in the end it's going to be me and her only 😄

In case she was terminally ill i prefer not to be married because i had enough sadness and depression, in the end our lives is between the hands of god but i don't wanna be happy for days or months than cry all my life!

If i was married to a woman and she became sick, i'll stick to her to then and will do anything to save her and if there's real love i'll wish that god takes us together, it's really hard to live alone again, even though i know that she'll will be alive again in heaven with god but since i'm a human i need her physically too, i want her hugs, her kisses, her meals, her smell, her voice to fill my house and her whole presence!

When one of the married couples leaves this world, it means the other half is half dead, living like a zombie is the worst thing it can happen to anyone!

I wish for all the loving married couples to have a long healthy life together till they are very old, because with time and decades passing by, they become the oxygen that they breath to each other, no wonder why the power of love is still our ultimate weapon and it can do miracles because it's given to us by god!

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Contemplating such a decision when it is hypothetical results in a rather intellectual discussion of the issue. Making such a decision when actually confronted with it would likely be based on my emotional response, and that might be quite different than what my intellect decided. So. . . honestly, I don't know. I hope that I would marry someone who I loved regardless of their financial status and regardless of their health status. I have certainly dated some women whose finances were tenuous, but I've never dated someone who had a terminal illness.

thatkawaiiemogirly · Accepted Answer

Yes, I would if I have a deep connection with them. I love people very much.

People need to get real and be real. Even if someone was to marry someone with lover with "0" health problems. Their are some possibilities they can get sick too. It's part of human life in this world. It's part of imperfections. Someone who can't accept someone for who they are. They are very shallow and should be single for rest of their lives. And it makes me a huge loser and punk too.

itsannalee · Accepted Answer

If I know he has that I’ll before we date i won’t date him. But if he get it when we are together, bo matter what, i will stay.

HawkPerception · Answer

My last relationship was somewhat like that. She told me about her health issues beforehand so as not to blindside me and I said I was completely fine with it. It's better to live and love than to never love at all; it's better to experience love than not to experience at all. Although it was hard at times, and she went in for surgery a couple times where she could possibly die, we got through it all and I built some great memories with her. At the end she broke up with me for reasons I won't disclose (it's not about her dying). But I'd do it all again. If I can be with a beautiful soul for even a small part of my life, I won't hesitate to do so.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

It's the ultimate sacrifice you can make for someone, by staying with them as they pass away.

I don't think I could do it.

Update:-

After giving this a lot more thought, one day either I or my wife will likely have to go through it. I certainly wouldn't be leaving her!

ryanrhino · Answer

When is timing the best for things you cannot control, which includes love!

These are adults and I hope they're making the best decisions. Some people get hastily married for deportation reasons and it works out fantastic!

Also, they may have been together far before he had health issues.

I will care for my loved ones as I as I am able. Plus, marriage is an easy way to draft a will at least, which may take considerable effort depending on his health.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Hmmm. Hard to say. I have mentioned before that if I were terminally ill, I'd marry my best friend so she could inherit my house and other assets without inheritance taxes or reassessment of the property, but that is not romantic love but practicality.

Dongie · Answer

I wouldn't for their stuff. But out of friendship. They could leave their stuff to charity. If they never had been married and they were my best friend I could do it. If they asked me to. I got nothing to lose by do so.

molonski2 · Answer

Sadly , I think your summary is 100% correct... Why?  He can leave it all to a Charity.

MicahRaine · Answer

Yes, I would. But not for money, resources, or connections. I believe VERY strongly in being primarily self-made (no one is 100% self-made), rather than taking advantage of people or asking for favors.

If I learned that Raine was terminally ill, I would marry her tomorrow. For those who don't know, she and I are on the same financial boat: trying to pay for college.

worldscolide · Answer

I'm not sure I could do that. I don't want a small window of time with someone, I want decades.

jack1924 · Answer

There are so many factors affecting my decision, do I love them? What is the point of doing this thing? Will this help them? Will it affect my life in a bad way? Will it affect me psychologically because I am an emotional person? etc

exitseven · Answer

If I loved them and they wanted to do it I would do it.

DJB72 · Answer

Not for their money. If it's true love they'll change their will. Marriage isn't about money

Staximus · Answer

I'm not sure about some places, but marrying to give your assets to somebody might be a good way to avoid probate

NamerOfStars · Answer

It may also be a Make-A-Wish type thing, where a guy who always wanted to be married gets to experience it, near the end.

MrGSpotHer · Answer

The money or whatever wouldn't matter, it's feelings that are worth more to me

Anonymous · Answer

No, Ieft my last relationship due to her getting cancer, I just couldnt deal with it

Julian7312 · Answer

It sounds a little suspicious.

legalboxers · Answer

Well they do say ‘until death do us part’…..

CubaPirate · Answer

No but my best friend did

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

No..

Would you marry someone who was terminally ill?

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