Would you date someone who is seriously ill?

[Anonymous]

I have had some unpleasant covid complications to the extent that I can only walk about a mile a day. I'm in constant pain and the more I walk the more unbearable the pain becomes. I manage to be active about 3 hours a day (going to work) the rest of the time I'm recovering at home. (Physically, from the outside, you can't really tell that there is anything wrong.)

It seems there is a guy appearing on the horizon for me, we flirt and chat and I'm worried that when he (or anyone else for that matter) finally does ask me out, I will have to fill him in on everything. I understand that he may not want to stay. You can easily say that then this isn't the guy for me. I agree, but I feel like that's the easy thing to say. If anyone here has had to deal with this type of situation, I would be very grateful for your feedback.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised you even want to prioritize a new relationship when you’re managing your health at the time. I understand the ongoing covid complications, I’m still dealing with chest issues from 2020, but when it affected my health the most I focused on that because it’s so severe. Not saying you should never get into a relationship but timing is important too..

[Asker]

It's been almost a year and half of dealing with this, and I'm slowly starting to accept that this what my life may look like for a while. I'm obviously not actively seeking anything, but if it happens then why not? I've known friends who've met their significant others when they were at their worst point in their lives.

[Opinion Owner]

If something happens then sure! I’m glad you clarified because I thought you meant like actively seeking something with someone while dealing with being so sick.

[HawkPerception]

I have dated a girl that was seriously ill. She had a couple brain tumors and during our relationship she had brain surgery to remove one of them and she was basically bedridden for a year, not able to do much. They let her drive, but it was dangerous because she had extreme vertigo. She would fall often and developed many blood clots in her brain to the point she was sent to ER multiple times from strokes. She had a high chance of dying. There's much more than that, but I won't mention it all. She had it really tough

I have no issue dating a girl like that if I love her personality. But in the end, she left me.

[KrakenAttackin]

To be brutally honest, no.

As a younger man I probably would have done anything for a woman I was interested in, no matter her health. I would have felt useful helping her manage her health issues and supporting her as a way to show her love.

As an older man I now realize that help, selfless love, and support would never be reciprocated. A boundary I have for women these days is I am no longer the one giving 98% while getting only 2% back. The relationship has to have something in it for me, and yes l, that is transactional.

[sawno]

I have been battling a very persistent burnout for years now so I know what this is like like no other. So yeah i'd definitely date her and see where it can go.

My own symptoms are actually quite likened to post-covid symptoms but i had them for many years prior. If the pain your describing is in your chest and your heartrate skyrockets when not laying down its what I am trying to engineer a solution for.