Would you start dating someone you really like, even though they are terminally ill?

Question

You really like the person and they could be the love of your life, but they tell you they may pass on within several months or a year due to a condition. Would you still go out with them?

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

If I had a choice to not know them and know they’d be the love of my life… shoot- I’d still do it. I think I’d have to be stronger for it. If I died of a broken heart because of it- then so be it. Why would I go my whole life passing up something truly wonderful and so good? Isn’t that also the point of life? The pursuit of happiness? To live it up?

And wouldn’t every good thing on earth be BETTER with a soul mate? Sure I could live and easily survive without one, but if I knew I had one and the option to still choose them or pass on ever meeting them, I’d choose them. Why would I want to just live a good life? why not live a great life?

I met the one for me and after knowing him I don’t have the HEART to say “no, I want to live a life never knowing him.”

Besides I already tried that. I lived a life of shame before him. Doing stuff with guys who rode in the passing wind. Nothing long term. Nothing of value. Nothing real.

If I passed up the TRUE love of my life just to live here and try to enjoy things with people who never would care for me and guys who would always give me less than- I’d already be dying. Slowly but surely. I’d be dead inside. And I was.

Now I get to spend my forever with him- however long that may be. Easier said than done. But better to know how awesome life can be even just for a little while than to never ever know. Some people accept the bare minimum cause they didn’t think it was possible that anyone could love them more or treat them better. Love them at all.

To meet your soulmate means meeting and seeing how well someone can treat you and how much they can truly love you and care about you. And that’s something special. Too good to pass up, and irreplaceable.

Nothing else can come close to it. in my opinion.

I’d take 80 years to 80 minutes. It would always be worth it.

dustybiker2 · Accepted Answer

This Q touches home in a couple of ways, to share one.. My mum had wanted to. She said he was the love of her life. They sounded so in love, she would glow whenever talking about their times together.
He wouldn't do that to her.
I would have traded my life in replacement of his so she could have been happy. She was one of the few people in the world that everyone loved and she deserved it.

RingOfFire · Accepted Answer

Yes I would because it would give me the opportunity to do something for someone else that would warm my heart for the rest of my life. Can't think of anything more satisfying then giving someone an opportunity for romance in their final days.

I had a small taste of this experience in my last relationship. Someone I love and care for very much had an inherited condition that killed her siblings and we knew would probably do the same to her at an early age. Wanted to help her live her life to the fullest while she still could. Our relationship ended several years ago, but we kept in touch. She passed away in March. I'm so glad I spent that time with her and I know that it enhanced her short but beautiful life.

bobby_bush_eater · Accepted Answer

This is a tough one but if I was actually serious about the girl yes I would stay by her side and date her even if she was terminally I'll.

It's tough because ultimately I want children and the odds of that are clearly lower, however I do believe it's better to have loved and lost and in the event of a miracle maybe that could happen

Account · Answer

No. I can't go through that. There are instances in life in which I have to choose myself. I might be selfish, but not dishonest.
I could be around them as a friend, but I could never be romantically invested in them.

TheRealPepperPotts · Answer

Yes, I would, and here's why: I know I will survive it. I already have once. I cannot speak for anyone else, and I respect those who have decided they wouldn't. It's a very individual decision and not one to be made lightly or flippantly. There's no shame in choosing not to.

When someone is terminal, there is a response that occurs in their life when they really begin to get sick where people pull away from them. It's something that happens a lot in terminal pediatric settings, and the children's art actually shows this reaction. The artwork shows different people further and further away, as the nurses, doctors, and other caregivers, begin to emotionally withdraw in preparation for the inevitable. It's heartrending, because the children are having to face something they should not face alone, and yet much of the time, they are alone because of how emotionally taxing it is for those who are beside them.

Grieving is a skill and something we can learn to do. The more experience we have with grief, the better equipped we are to support others and to learn our own strength. The more normalized and acceptable grief is in community, the more we can support each other and not fear the storm.

Minky17 · Answer

No I wouldn't put myself through that. Death is already a difficult transition for me to get used to. If I fell in love and had kids with a man about to die - I would forever mourn him. My children would never know their father and I would have to be alone never getting over a lost love

avery58 · Answer

I wouldn't have dated them or gotten my feelings involved in the first place if they were, sorry but I wouldn't voluntarily put myself in a place of grief. But I'd be their friend if I liked their personality and try to be supportive.

If it was someone that I already liked or loved who later got ill, I'd never leave them.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Probably not. It would be very difficult to know if pity wasn’t part of the reason i invested in her. It would be impossible to convince her otherwise if she suspected as much.

Crimsyjo · Answer

You can't help your feelings. And they deserve love too if there is that special undeniable connection between you. But just be prepared. You know its not going to have the happy ever after most couples plan. But most of those don't last anyways. So, you might have a true fairytale love on your hands that is so rare and beautiful.

Horse-girl · Answer

I'd love to say yes but I wouldn't be able to, when I love someone I love them hard, I've cried for days over the death of my hamster so I imagine I'd cry for years over the death of a lover and I'd probably just spiral down.

imfreeze95 · Answer

I would love them for the time that God gives us. No one is guaranteed a tomorrow anyway.

MatureMan40 · Answer

If I loved her, I would try to make her very happy...

LiamJHayden · Answer

I do not think I could do Landon in A Walk to Remember

Sevenpointfive · Answer

me thinks

thatshydork · Answer

It would suck watching their health deteriorate but when I love/care about someone, nothing stops that.

HappyWoman34 · Answer

Yes, I think I would, provided I knew them before this occurred.

Basement-Bum · Answer

Of course. When she dies I'll still watch our DIY porn.

Daniela1982 · Answer

I could not do that as passing is such a sorrow.

sheenagwapa · Answer

absolutely all the more i wanna spend more time with him

SotiCoto · Answer

They wouldn't date me.  I have a very warped sense of humour, and I don't think I could ever stop teasing them for being terminally ill.

FenixG45 · Answer

I would, and I did, and they died.

cince200X · Answer

Hard to choose... Never dated yet.

exitseven · Answer

yes, they will be dead anyway.

HurremSultan · Answer

I wouldn't

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

No. Waste of time.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes..

Would you start dating someone you really like, even though they are terminally ill?

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Would you start dating someone you really like, even though they are terminally ill?

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