He said he won't propose until a major life altering event happens?

[arodriguez664]

My boyfriend (32m) and I (28f) have been dating for 2 years now. He and I have discussed the topic of marriage. We both want to get married and he has said he already sees me as a wife and that he is excited about that. He has also said that our relationship is the healthiest he's ever been in and that he has thought of ways to propose. His friends and family also believe we are going to get married. Having said that. Sometimes he says things that contradict all of this. He will say, I don't want to propose at the wrong time, I'll do it if you want me to but it's not necessary, and the last one was he would consider proposing if a major life altering event happened, but he's not in a rush. So, I ask. What gives? Has he been lying to me?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yikes, girl, that's a tricky situation with your boyfriend. It sounds like he's sending you some really mixed signals when it comes to marriage and proposing.

On one hand, he's been talking about seeing you as his future wife and saying he's excited about that. And his friends and family seem to think you two are headed that way too. That's gotta feel good and make you think he's ready to take that next step.

But then he keeps throwing out these weird qualifications, like wanting to wait for a "major life altering event" before he'll propose. And saying it's not necessary and he doesn't want to do it at the wrong time. That's just confusing and borderline concerning, you know?

Honestly, I can't say for sure if he's been flat-out lying to you. But it does seem like he might be a bit scared or unsure about the whole marriage thing, even if he says he's ready. Maybe he has some hang-ups or fears he needs to work through first.

My advice would be to try to have an open and honest conversation with him about it. Don't accuse him of anything, but let him know how his mixed messages are making you feel. Try to understand where he's coming from and see if you can get on the same page.

If he really does want to marry you eventually, he should be willing to give you a clear timeline or at least explain what this "major life event" he's waiting for is. And he should be able to reassure you that he's serious about it, even if the proposal isn't happening right away.

At the end of the day, you deserve to be with someone who's 100% committed and excited to take that next step with you. Don't settle for less than that, girl. If he can't give you the clarity and reassurance you need, it might be time to reevaluate things.

But try talking to him first. Hopefully he can give you the answers you're looking for. Sending you all the positive vibes - you've got this!

[arodriguez664]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and kind response. I have never asked him about a timeline or what life event he is talking about. I should talk to him about these things. For now I'm giving it time before I talk to him about it, because I do not want to pressure him. I'm just very confused.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Oh girl, this man wants a trophy more than a girlfriend. Any ring he gets you would be a shut up ring. He’s not worth another year, I’d get out while you can.

[arodriguez664]

Funny thing is he's willing to get a coordinating tattoo with me

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You think a tattoo means anything? I met a guy who had a tattoo of a stick of butter with bread wings bc he thought it would be funny to call it his butterfly tattoo.

[eagle1951]

ok like what, weird

[arodriguez664]

I am also confused.

[eagle1951]

me too