What can a girl do when I know he loves me, but because of family courts and women filing for 90% of divorces, he will not marry me?

[Kelley1]

Updates

1 y

I may have to lower my standards. Most guys would marry me, so I can get married any day of the week, but not to the guys I want.

Updates

1 y

I am not recommending this, but if you want to eliminate divorces and make marriage as fair to men as current laws are to women, make the laws the way they were 200 years ago, when marriages lasted. When they marry, all property is his property. If she leaves, he retains the children, the house, and all jointly held property. She gets no alimony and pays for her attorney.

In that event, the marriages would last, just like they did in the past, and women would not be filing for divorce.

[ryanontario]

there isn't as much interest in marriage as there used to be , i recall reading through old newspapers from my town from the 20's and 30's and was filled with marriage announcements of people in there early 20's who all seemed to get married really young and without much challenge back then.
it seems like the era of easy marriages has long since passed and few people would consider marrying something that easily anymore , its like you'd have to be dating them for 5 years and already living together before they'd do it now , which wasn't what someones first marriage was like years ago. many wouldn't of had sex with partner , yet alone lived with them

[Kelley1]

In addition to family courts, it doesn't help that millions of pretty whores give it away to the high-value men, the top ten to twenty percent, that I want. Therefore, it is understandable that most high-value men are not very motivated to get married.

Almost all the average and below men, including a majority of the 6s and 7s, want to get married since that is the only way they will ever get any on a regular basis or even at all.

[ryanontario]

true its very hard for most average men to get dates and sex now days , it make sense some would view marriage as most likely way to actually get a girl but few women want to marry average men since there income is so low and it costs so much these days for homes and such , they'd never have anything right

[AviatorTom]

You have two choices:

1. Stay in a long-term relationship with him, without marriage, or

2. Find a guy willing to marry you.

It's your choice, your decision to make.

[Kelley1]

I keep my options open, so I date other guys too. Moreover, it is easy to find guys who want to marry me, but they are not the guys I want. I'm getting concerned, but I'm not desperate yet.

[AviatorTom]

Thanks for MHO

[Chazmatazz269]

If you know he loves you, what more do you need? More to the point, what does a marriage certificate provide that a loving relationship cannot? The answer is ‘nothing’. If you’re in love, be in love. Marriage doesn’t bring anything positive to the table anyway.

[caitycat21]

Love is an emotion not a commitment, does love mean he’ll stick around when life gets hard?

Married men on average live longer, earn more, and report greater happiness. Children raised in married households also have greater outcomes in life mentally, emotionally, and financially.

Marriage and the family unit is the basis of any thriving civilization. There’s a reason why homosapiens outlived the Neanderthals, they were physically stronger than us but we banded together and formed complex social groups that allowed for us to cooperate across families and tribes.

[Chazmatazz269]

Nonsense. Love is a series of commitments. The “feeling” you have that you call “love” is a fading chemical reaction in the brain. Without commitment all you have is lust.
Also, it’s widely accepted that neanderthals were bred out by homo sapiens. They didn’t go extinct because they failed to compete.
You’re just making crap up to justify your nonsense.
Why even bother asking the question if you can’t handle the answers?

[Kelley1]

@caitycat21 That is not relevant because you are comparing low-quality men to high-quality men. High-quality men are smarter, better-looking, have higher incomes, and have the option of marrying young, hot chick, rather than older, fat, single moms. Of course, they will be happier.

[caitycat21]

@Kelley1 average people marry and stay married all the time, the men you define as high quality appear to be happy but you will not be happy when your old dying alone in a nursing home with no one to care for you that isn’t paid because you wasted your life building nothing of value to leave behind. That’s a miserable way to live

[caitycat21]

So is love an action based long term choice or a fading biological impulse? I'm also a bit confused, my main point was pro commitment so I'd agree without your statement that a lack of commitment is just based on lust but your original statement was against marriage, which is a formal commitment to what should be a long term relationship?

I also brough up the Neanderthals as a metaphorical point, humans have existed for so long because we've cooperated together forming strong family units that provided structure that allowed civilizations to thrive. There's very well agreed upon scientific consensus surrounding this idea.

I'm also not the person that originally asked the question, that was Kelley

[Finchie40]

If she loves him then she should move in with him , you don’t have to be married to be committed to someone

[Kelley1]

@Finchie40 That is a bit too sleezy for me.

[Finchie40]

I agree , but unfortunately that’s how some people are. But the bottom line she has a choice , if he doesn’t want to get married , then she can choose to leave his ass and find herself a guy that wants marriage as well

[SuperZonicGUY1992]

This is why I date cuties hottie in their 20s.
I hate woman my age 30s they nagging to much and woman turn into Karen once their old ass !

I don't want some other dude old used goods lol

[Finchie40]

I don’t blame ya, i experienced the same thing , I had better relationships with younger girls’ then girls’ my age or older

[SotiCoto]

Don't be married then.
Marriage is just government or church formalisation of a relationship.
You can have the relationship without the formalisation. The most you'd lose are some weird tax thingies or whatever.

[Kelley1]

There is a bit of truth to that, but you are also against customs and traditions, and that is not good.

[SotiCoto]

I beg to differ. Customs and traditions are just shackles and chains to hold people back from exploring what is actually good for them, and traditionalists are simply intellectually lazy because they'd rather a life where they don't have to think for themselves and simply have everything served up to them predecided. Freedom of choice can be scary for such people, but if you live a life that has been written out for you by others in advance, can you ever really call it yours?

[SotiCoto]

@Theodish_Warrior : Baseless bullsh! t... but suit yourself. You're allowed to be a retard. Just try to stay quiet.

[Stevepro68]

It's a tough call as a divorced man gonna say love my girl only want her for the rest of my life. I see no real reason to marry. It has no effect on keeping you together. If you have children there are good benefits. But other than some deep social need for women to have this party. I agree with your significant other.

[CorneliaUSA]

You want to be with him for life yes? So then just be with him. A piece of paper doesn't mean anything anymore. Maybe 10 years down the line he'll consider marriage again. If you can't wait. Then you don't love him. Whether it's marriage or just living together. Together is together. If you want to marry so that you can trap him... Girl.. a ring doesn't close a hole.

[katiesmuff]

Find another man who is greal, loves you and not so paranoid!

[Kelley1]

Now that the Spring term has ended and I'm home for most of the summer, I'm keeping my options open and trying to find someone to date. I go to 18+ clubs, as I'm not 21 and old enough for regular clubs. And, there are places to go swimming that are good for meeting guys.

[Kelley1]

I'm not giving up, but I keep my options open. He hasn't shut the door; he is just not opening it wide enough just yet, but he may because he knows he has competition and there are benefits he is not receiving. He has options, too, and he may believe he can do better.

[osmanthus]

He probably knows he won't pull his weight around the home, so, woman will leave him (divorce). He will lose monies and assets. You don't have to take him into your life or do anything, really, unless you want to be his domestic slave, forever. Some men cannot live with women. That's just the facts.

[caitycat21]

I don’t know your relationship but even if that’s the case that sounds like a cop out statement on his end, yeah men are getting the rough end of the stick when it comes to marriage now a days but you should not be wasting your time with a man who flat out is telling you he will never commit to you long term to your face.


If he loves you he would trust you enough to not even think of that as a high risk

[caitycat21]

@Theodish_Warrior Word of advice, if you’re trying to argue with a person they’d be more likely to hear you out if you don’t immediately resort to insulting them. Your arguments are also entirely irrelevant to my point, I never once argued about how fair the legal institution of marriage is for men. I’m giving practical advice to her, but it’s clear you have some type of weird distain for the other sex so regardless of what I say you’ll probably interpret it as a personal attack

[caitycat21]

@Theodish_Warrior "What utter nonsense coming from you" This was backhanded and uncalled for

" Women don't usually empathize with men after all" maybe because you open conversations by belittling them? If this is your usual tone, its not really rocket science why they don't engage with you.

The original question was about one relationship, which you hijacked in order to go on a macro level rant. No one is denying the larger issues with marriage laws or modern dynamics, but wasn't the point. If your goal is to actually help men and women understand each other maybe you should start by staying on topic and keeping the conversation constructive?

[Lliam]

He's making excuses. He doesn't trust you, which means that he doesn't love you. He's probably incapable of trust. He may be untrustworthy, himself.
He just loves fucking you and getting free sex with no strings attached so that he can walk away whenever he feels like it.
He wants to keep his options open with no chance of repercussions. And he conveniently blames women and women's rights for his attitude.

Find a real man, not a greedy, self-centered punk.

[nastyb]

women file for divorce because they are not happy in marriage.

most women work full time jobs to come home to do 90% of the housework with a husband who barely helps out

this may be you in a few years.

[exitseven]

Sometimes you need to know when to cut your losses. He has a good argument for staying single and it does not seem like he will change his mind.

[Tempest_Flame]

I think most men nowadays know marriage is a bad deal. You probably just have to roll with it.

[Kelley1]

The family courts are not doing me any favors when, because of the extreme bias of family courts, men choose not to marry. I agree with Pearl Davis, 50/50 custody and no child support or alimony.

[Tempest_Flame]

I think the kid should just live with the father. Single moms are terrible at raising kids. They become criminals. And moving from home to home every week is disruptive.

[Kelley1]

I agree that fathers would be better, but the best we can expect is equal treatment, and in the foreseeable future, that will not happen.

[msc545]

The man you were talking about correctly perceives marriage as a legal maneuver by women and is avoiding it. Admire the fact that he is caring for himself. Get over your obsession with dominating him..

[avery58]

Then he doesn't really trust you as a person I guess 🤷‍♀️

[WhitneySnow]

The guys you want are paranoid. Tell them to draw up a prenup and you’ll sign it.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Leave him because that's an absolutely ridiculous thing to be concerned about

[WonderingManII]

Sounds like you need to prove to him you are safe. I mean if He doesn't trust you then basically the relationship will go nowhere.

[Twalli]

Prenuptial that specifies who gets what if you two get divorced. Add to it as you acquire new material goods. If you have kids make an agreement on what happens to them if you get divorced

[Iron_Man]

It sounds like he’s not the guy for you. He’s just making a big excuse and he’s very negative how old is this guy?

[TwoToTooTutu2]

At your age he is not ready. You're gonna have to stick it out and hope he doesn't change his mind. But that isn't likely

[Charliefretz329]

Be a wife. Contribute with out having to. Don’t push the issue.

[nawtee_me]

Find someone else

[Kelley1]

@nawtee_me I am looking and keeping my options open.

[nawtee_me]

@Kelley1 If I were younger. lol.

[Ariesman81]

Well, you're kind of fucked then aren't you?

[standardguy]

Sign a prenuptial treaty.

[Kelley1]

I'm willing to sign a prenup, but courts toss out prenups.

[standardguy]

🤔😓

[msc545]

Yes, courts and judges toss out prenuptial agreements all the time but they never do it because they feel it is unfair to the man. They do it because they feel it is unfair to a woman. Men know this or at least thinking men know about this and don't rely on prenuptial agreements for any sort of security whatsoever.

[standardguy]

So the us government should release a bill that all prenubs have to be respected by the courts

[msc545]

The US government cannot make that kind of ruling. That would be against the law.

[standardguy]

But they have to limit the power of liberal judges. Or America will die

[msc545]

You do not seem to understand that the executive branch does not control the Judicial branch of our government, much as you may dislike that. Your feelings don't count.

[Jennz6]

Shack up with him

[DryGermanGuy]

Is "shacking up" related to "shackles"?

[Jennz6]

@DryGermanGuy no silly, just live in a shack with him

[Kelley1]

From certain angles, I did that at age 18 for a couple of months, and then he dumped me for the next beautiful thing.

[Jennz6]

@Kelley1
That happened to me too

[Kelley1]

@jennz6 Men fuck way down for sex, but they marry equals. A10 guy will fuck a 7 and maybe a 6 but 6 and 7 girls have no chance of marrying a 10 guy. After he notices her, It is too easy for a naive girl to think she can marry a guy way out of her league.

[Jennz6]

@Kelley1
I guess I’m way down there 💃

[Kelley1]

@Jennz6 Welcome to the club.

[BCRanger10]

Break up with him and find someone else.

[Shiprex]

You can ask him and or leave if he says no.

[JordansGate]

Move on. He ain't lovin you. Smh

[jahaims]

He doesn't love you if he doesn't trust you.

[Pterodon]

It won’t ever change so you have a decision

[PaleDale]

Tell him to eat his dick and move on

[Bklynbadboy12]

That depends on how badly you want to get married

[Godihateyou]

Nothing. He isn't stupid. Look for someone who is.

[chocolatetwopointo]

move on

[RedInnocent69]

Sign a prenup

[eagle1951]

move in