Can you move in with your SO if they were saving up for marriage?

[fonduegirl]

Code, they won't have sex with you unless y'all get married

Updates

1 y

I don't believe in marriage but I'd like to live with that person for at least an year before we do any kind of sexual act. (Makeout is exception)

Updates

1 y

The update was hypothetical. There's no man around me demanding marriage 😭😭

[NathanDavis]

it really depends on what "saving up for marriage" means to them... the reasons they have to do so, and how they do approach such situation...

there's good reasons to do this and very valid ones as well... but, there can also be other reasons for which I would not want to be involved with them, the most clear one being to the tune of " I just don't trust men "

back in college days... my college girlfriend at the time said to me... that she really wanted to be my girlfriend, and that we could be a couple however, she also made it very clear to me that she didn't feel ready for sex, and that she didn't want to engage in that yet and so, she asked me... if I am okay with that, then maybe we could try

I did say yes to her... and I said yes to her because there were just so many other things I did like and love about her, I wasn't there "just for the sex"

but this was almost 15 years ago... and I see why it would be more of a thing back then, but nowadays... say for example, I meet someone my age and who's still "saving" and the reasons why is she or why she haven't could be just a bit more convoluted

[fonduegirl]

Lots of people here do it for religious reasons

[NathanDavis]

it can be very risky, and I've seen it happening before...

people who really don't know themselves or their partner in that area, and later, after marriage and all... end up quite disappointed because they are not "compatible" in bed

then they try to force things or make it work, when it just doesn't genuinely work... and, especially for younger people with no experience... sometimes we think that we like or even love THE IDEA of something and we're really into it, but when we really get to it... it turns out to be very VERY different in reality so

to me, this is more like a gamble... and I would not gamble with the most important thing of my life, which can also mean forever...

forever lucky, or forever unlucky

[fonduegirl]

Indian marriages are a hell of a lucky draw, one that's compulsory deal

[fonduegirl]

Guys here feel lucky if she sleeps with them at all or cooks, while women want jewelry on annual basis

[NathanDavis]

is that really spread so widely... or, is it just for certain sectors of the population

we're talking about a region with over 1, 400, 000, 000 people... lol

[fonduegirl]

I haven't conducted a survey, Nate

[NathanDavis]

but others have... especially on religious upbringing

[fonduegirl]

I'm only speaking with experience. Religion is pretty sensitive around here. I'd get shot for making jokes on god

[NathanDavis]

I got kicked out of biblical camp for "having too many questions"

or, any question at all really

I was age 4 or 5, lol

[fonduegirl]

No way! We finally had something in common

[fonduegirl]

Lots of tuition teachers have given up on me for asking too many questions!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"I got kicked out of biblical camp for "having too many questions. Or, any question at all really. I was age 4 or 5, lol"

[fonduegirl]

Y'all friends?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Friends is probably a big word, me, I just trust Nathan

[fonduegirl]

@Maybe_Maybe_not awwwwwwww

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

[NathanDavis]

don't trust me around carbs...

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

• 😏Digression is starting
• Make out with someone isn't a sexual act? How strange, I thought it was sexual...
• 😏Digression is ending

Not interested in girls talking about marriage like it's their life mission in the cosmos. So there's that. About saving up, I'm not attracted to girls finding any moral pleasure in chaining their own sex drive because something or someone told them it was the right thing to do. Because, to me, it means they're into BDSM, religious version, so ew, no thanks. I'm attracted to freedom instead 🙏🏼

[Vevv123]

Yes because I think it’s more important to form a deep emotional connection before and I wouldn’t want to be with someone who only valued sexual intimacy, lacked the ability to control themselves or lacked the ability to appreciate me and love me for something other than the physical. I think it would be nice and if anything it would be more of a test for him because I think men struggle with these kinds of desires more in general.

[dustybiker2]

I would never marry someone if I didn't know what they were like in bed. Sex is too big a part of a relationship to find out you are a poor match in the sack after all that money wasted:

[dustybiker2]

Thanks for mho

[Chazmatazz269]

Absolutely not, you don’t get husband privileges unless i get wife privileges. Full stop.

[fonduegirl]

Are you referencing to marital rape? That's weird justification

[Chazmatazz269]

You need to improve your reading comprehension skills.

[fonduegirl]

And you need to improve your writing skills

[Cormac995]

If he want's marriage and you don't then all your doing is wasting his time and shouldn't move in at all. You either need to have a discussion with each other about where you'll meet in the middle or break up is 100% inevitable down the road anyways. So in other words sort that out before you even consider moving in.

[Purpleronnie]

I’m not sure that I understand the question 100% and I definitely DONT agree with no sex before marriage.


Seems to me like it would put too much pressure on the relationship from my viewpoint , not sure why anyone would want to invite that. Additionally, saving for marriage assuming financially seems kinda open-ended and really quite unnecessary, it’s not the marriage that costs , it’s all the ceremony and pageantry. I mean are we talking 6 months or 5 years?

[Genie23]

Sure but we need to at least have the conversation about things we are into and things we are not into and drives. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Compatibility matters.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Oh HELL nO! Like buying a car you want to test drive it first & if you wait until marriage to have sex & the sex sucks or you don’t have enough of it you are S. O. L & the only thing you can look forward to is the divorce.

[fonduegirl]

I find the car analogy unkind.

But yes, I wouldn't want to marry a guy and find out later he STINKS at sex, bad stamina or just selfish... So yea

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for the car analogy I’m glad you find it unkind however it’s the truth I say it like it is & when I test drive a car I rev that engine.

[fonduegirl]

I mean, even I could be terrible at sex. Wouldn't want a guy to get struck with me lol

[Static_In_The_Attic]

No one is perfect, I’m not & when it comes to a relationship heating up the sheets is a wonderful thing.

[fonduegirl]

It is indeed!

[lilBigPotato]

We won't get past initial dating stage if that's what they want

[BCRanger10]

My wife and I did not live together before we got married, neither did we have sex.

[Asgard356]

I'm not sure how that would work, is masturbation allowed before marriage?

[petitedollbabee]

I don’t believe in marriage, so no.

[fonduegirl]

Same

[Grond21]

Is it possible? Yes. It would be extremely hard to maintain, and foolish as well

[fonduegirl]

Disagreed

[Grond21]

Yeah?

[fonduegirl]

It's not foolish in my opinion

[fonduegirl]

People should wait at least one year before getting down and dirty

[Grond21]

Oh, I meant living together is foolish.
I think waiting for sex is a wise strategy. That's what I'm doing too

[fonduegirl]

It's important to know each other's terrible habits, which you can only discover by living together

[fonduegirl]

Such as not putting the toilet seat down

[Grond21]

That's what society says, and has for decades. But it's been long enough that we can see the results clearly. If it had a positive effect, we would see it. Instead we see the opposite. Across cultures when couples cohabitate before marriage it increases the chances of divorce within the first ten years more than any other factor. Some studies have it increasing divorce chances by over 50%

[fonduegirl]

The only reason divorce rate in India isn't high is bc people cheat

[Grond21]

Cheating keeps divorce lower? That's the first I have heard of that. In the US this has been studied and there is a strong correlation between cheating and later increase in divorce.
I haven't seen studies for India though. Have you?

[fonduegirl]

USA is more about sex. The number one complain of a white woman is why doesn't he call her back after an amazing night of sex

[Grond21]

I don't think that's actually the number one complaint. But it's true we are more open about sex here. It's positive in some aspects and negative in many others.

[fonduegirl]

I've seen countless American shows that show a "loose girl" wondering why no guy wants to commit to her

[fonduegirl]

In India it's cheating and ethical gold digging

[Grond21]

Ah, there's your first mistake. American shows are carefully tailored by a very exclusive club of Hollywood elites. It's designed to project an image, but it's not reflective accurately of our society or culture. Just like Bollywood is not an accurate reflection of Indian society or culture.

[Grond21]

I'm not sure which is worse, Cheating and approved gold digging or promiscuity and abortions

[fonduegirl]

Bollywood is somewhat right

[fonduegirl]

I'm definitely pro abortion

[Grond21]

So is Hollywood. It's based on the real world, but takes creative licenses in quite a number of places.

[Grond21]

I'm definitely against abortion

[fonduegirl]

All right, J.

[Jamie05rhs]

Why are you upset that no man is asking you to marry him? You literally just said that you don't want to get married.
Make up your mind lol.

[Jamie05rhs]

And yes, of course I could move in with them. Why not?

[Creepcook]

I’m thinking about the same about my e- boyfriend

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Saving up? Abstinence isn’t a bank lol

[fonduegirl]

Hahaha

[ChicoFromThe305]

Lot of L women in these comments

[fonduegirl]

I don't understand

[ChicoFromThe305]

👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

[LiamS95]

Thst could work

[lyrem04]

Nope

[Paige90]

Yes I can

[shortster]

Seems possible.

[TadBehaya]

Most likely, no

[LiaRaven]

Nope

[Pterodon]

Nope

[melis765]

maybe why not