What would you genuinely require from a partner in order to say "I do"?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

If I get married, and that's a big IF, I would only marry a woman who has more traditional values, has healthy views of men and marriage, values family, loves children and wants a family or her own, comes from a family where her parents are still happily married, has a good relationship with her father, and does not have a promiscuous past.

Sound too idealistic? It used to be the norm. What marriage has become today is, for the most part, not appealing to men. Half of marriages end in divorce, women file 80% of them, and men get screwed in divorce court and child custody settlements. And, the benefits of marriage to men are not at all what they used to be.

Why would a man today accept those increased risks and decreased benefits without some form of insurance? The only acceptable insurance is the criteria I listed in my first paragraph above. I'm not willing to marry without all of them. I would rather remain single. I have seen too many men's lives destroyed because they thought they would be the lucky one.

[Asker]

I always find it quite ironic how angry some men are at the status of divorce and their perception of women these days in marriage because for literal centuries, women had no rights. Once they got married, they were their husbands literal property, they could not divorce even if the husband was beating them to literal death, a man could cheat, but a woman could not, and any family money they had, belonged to their husbands once they got married. Centuries this went on...and yet few men seem to remember this is how it was probably up until the 60s. There is always blame put on women for divorce, but do you actually know other than a stat, why they got divorced? You just assume because she filed, it was her problem...

[Opinion Owner]

Do you know why few men seem to remember that? Because today's men were not involved in it in any way. And neither were today's women. What you said is 100% irrelevant to the situation we have today.

The biggest reason women get blamed for divorce is because they initiate 80% of them. But the most incriminating evidence is the fact that no men are even involved in the group who has the highest divorce rate of all... lesbians. If you compare the divorce rates among straight, gay and lesbian couples around the world, the lowest rate is among gay men, the highest rate by far is among lesbians, and the rate for straight couples is somewhere in between, but closer to the rate for gays. This is an indisputable fact, and plenty of information about it is available to anyone who wants to know about it.

The fact is, the more women involved in a marriage, the higher the likelihood it will end in divorce, and the more men involved, the lower the likelihood.

What the changes you described have done is enable women to show their true nature with respect to commitment. It has done a lot of harm to society, and women should be called out for it and start owning their problems. Women are absolutely responsible for the majority of divorces, and men have very good reason to be cynical about marriage today.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I would require a super high priority reason such as health care access, then I'd gladly say "I do".

Because I don't relate, romantically and/or culturally, to the concept of marriage. And I fall for women who happen to not relate to it either. However, since it's not the first time I'm in love with a foreigner, then I know there may be emergency factors in life, such as the one I named.

[DishLady]

Generally speaking just mutual love and respect. The forever kind, not the bs romcom stuff. We need to be able to care about and protect each other, to understand one another, glitches and all. He should be able to stand on his own two feet, be honest, loyal, not needy... and I'll do the same bc that's me.

That's it. Nothing else really matters.

[DishLady]

(Ugh... Libido... I forgot good libido... no one wants a dead fish in bed, lol.)

[DishLady]

Dude seriously? Get off my f-ing post.

[Pearl222]

Honesty, consistency in words and actions, patience, loyalty and a desire to grow together in love (try things they like/ get to know them and their interests) which includes a little compromise from both sides.

[Asker]

This sounds very beautiful and well thought out.

[Pearl222]

Thank you 🙂

[Chazmatazz269]

There’s nothing a woman could say or do to take the absurd risk to a man off the table. The marriage, divorce and child custody laws in this country need to change dramatically before it’s sensible for men to commit everything they are, everything they own, and everything they will ever earn to a woman. Since that’s never going to happen, smart, stable, self respecting men have stopped marrying, for the most part.

[Sal_Monella]

Good words.

[Sal_Monella]

I would add "(to commit everything they are, everything they own," THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR CHILDREN.

[Chazmatazz269]

Your children are part of you, not just a relationship you have. So i feel like i covered it under “… everything they are…” and “… child custody…”.
That said, it’s never wrong to be clearer, and some things bear repeating.

[Buckarooyoutoo]

Your words and advice is Bad Medicine

[Bloodparadise]

Let's be honest here.. u would throw ur offspring under the bus to save yourself.. that's why you have a lot of them

[trumpetplayerforlife]

I wanted to be a trophy wife I was tired of worrying about bills and I got what I wanted lol

[thegreenyogi]

The absolute certainty that I can give him every piece of me without thinking twice about it.

[Asker]

That's deep. That would be a good indication, I think.

[Miristheiss]

Virgin, sweet, affectionate, feminine, honest, loyal, traditional.

[Asker]

Why is virginity important in this day an age? Are you a virgin and that's why you want one?

[RingOfFire]

Woman asks her husband

"Will you still love me when I'm old and fat?"

The guy answers

"I do."

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Born again saved God fearing christian woman.

Smart.

Submissive.

Honest.

Trustworthy.

Peaceful.

[Anonymous]

That she love me. Which probably sounds easy. Anyone can say I love you. Showing it in a manner that I believe it is another matter.

[Alex-Snow]

Trust, honesty, good communication and some good sexual chemistry.

[Anonymous]

As long as she's my type of girl, I would say I do.

[Asker]

That's cool.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm glad you agree.

[DCVsMarvel2]

Not getting with me, because she expects marriage

It's wrong to expect anything

[waguy]

If my wife were to die or we were to divorce, there's no way I would marry or date again. It's just not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Having the patience to debate “Why don’t we have flying cars yet?” with me until sunrise.

[Anonymous]

For Her To Not Refer To Me Or Themselves As “Partner” Or Us As “Partners”

[2_beHappy]

Full time adoration

[silvermoon84]

Mutual love, respect, compassion and care.

[WhitneySnow]

Love and commitment

[MannMitAntworten]

Her choosing me just as much as I choose her.

[Asker]

Simple, but effective.

[MannMitAntworten]

Indeed.

[LiamJHayden]

A repeal of no-fault divorce laws.

[Asker]

You would pass on the love of your potential life for that reason?

[LiamJHayden]

Yes. Under no-fault she can cheat and still get half of everything plus alimony. Not worth the risk.

[Sal_Monella]

An unbreakable prenup.

[Chazmatazz269]

Santa Claus can get you one of those.

[Sal_Monella]

@Chazmatazz269 I can dream

[Anonymous]

Intelligence and personality

[Jamie05rhs]

True love.