Are any of you married because you just wanted to be married, not because you found the love of your life?

[Anonymous]

I'm getting married because I've always wanted to be married and with a family Not because I found the love of my life. I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing everything alone.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't want to be with anyone unless they made me feel a certain way. I've had a taste of what I'm looking for and need it to be replicated for me to commit to a girl. Its also not beneficial to potential children if both parents aren't committed to each other in a certain way.

[Asker]

just wait till you are old and ugly, nobody wants you. you can't wait forever. When you are young, attractive, single, this is when your chances of finding love and procreating is at its highest. You don't wait till you're old and ugly to start having children

[Asker]

Past a certain age, your chances of marrying or procreating drops significantly. You're old and ugly, who the hells wants to marry you? so you either marry someone and have kids while you're young otherwise, you're never having kids. Do it now or never.

[Opinion Owner]

You obviously don't care about the love part. I intend to marry once. Why would I want to end up with someone who I don't like and isn't compatible just because she was easy? I have plenty of time left, so I'm not going to commit to the first person I can.

[Asker]

@opinion owner

You dont have to marry someone you hate or aren't compatible with

You can surely marry someone who you get along with and are compatible with

Love isn't everything. You can marry someone you love but not compatible with

Marriage is something predominantly done in youth. If you marry when you are older, you would most likely be settling either way. Because no one who is high quality would want to settle for someone old and ugly.

[Opinion Owner]

I view anyone I don't or couldn't love as incompatible. I understand the risk of ending up alone, but I view the risk worth it. I've been alone enough to know it would be better than ending up with the wrong person.

[Asker]

@opinion owner

one day you will wake up, in pain, unable to take care of yourself, struggling to get out of bed, and nobody will care whether you live or die.

this is what happens when you die alone without a spouse or family.

[Asker]

one day you will be 60 years old, have absolutely no one to celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving with. Nobody giving you any gifts for the holidays.

Meanwhile all your married friends have enormous Christmas/ Thanksgiving celebrations at their house where they celebrate with their daughters, sons, son in laws, daughter in laws, 10 grandchildren. They have their grown kids rushing home for the turkey, cooking up huge feasts.

you sitting all alone at home in an empty home staring at a blank wall. your parents are dead. you have no children, no spouse.

[Asker]

After you come home from surgery, you are all alone without help. Nobody to take care of you during the times of need. Nobody to give you a hug when you need it the most. When you break your leg and can't work, nobody help you with the bills.

At the end of your life, you're in pain and nobody cares whether you live or die. Your life means nothing to anyone.

Don't think you won't need anyone forever.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm aware that is a potential fate. I'm okay with risking it to find someone I love. There are also some risks marrying someone you don't love.

[Asker]

@opinion owner

those risks are self inflicted.

Don't think there would always be someone willing to date you once you're old and ugly. Your chances of finding someone decreases as you get older. There are fewer singles as you get older. Less likely chance that you will marry someone you're physically attracted to. Less chance that other people who would be attracted to you. Divorced people get jaded as they get older and claim they never want to marry again.

At some point in life, having someone there is a million times better than dying all alone lonely and neglected.

At some point you will need help in life, and nobody would be there to help you.

Lower your standards and you will find someone.

All your pain is self inflicted

[Opinion Owner]

Yes. I'm aware I'm taking a risk not committing to the first girl to show me interest. My standards are definitely not too high. If being in love with someone is too high of a requirement for you, I'd love to see your floor. That is currently the standard in most modern countries. You could end up marrying the wrong person, and your life will potentially be worse than being alone. You aren't wrong about my pain being (mostly) self inflicted though. I think we should agree to disagree.

[Asker]

A lotta people don't know how to pick the right person.
Just because you love someone, it will not mean they're the right person.

Right person is someone you are COMPATIBLE with, have shared values with, have simliar lifestyles with, not someone you're just merely head over heels in love with

Purely just love will not sustain a marriage. This is why there are so many divorces in your country. You don't know how to pick the right person.

Who you think is the right person isn't actually the right person

I have seen people who were in love with people that are not even good for them.

I have seen men fall in love with sociopaths, narcissists, women who have neglected their children.

[That is currently the standard in most modern countries. ]

well your divorce rate in modern countries are usually sky high so you tell me what these modern countries are doing correctly

Yea... continue talking about how terrible it is to just settle for an "okay " person. You will likely suffer a long, lonely painful death in your older years.

Marry someone you get along with, someone who doesn't cause you major problems in life, someone you can talk to, someone you respect. At least you will have someone there for you.

[Asker]

@Opinion Owner

Nobody is telling you to marry a terrible person. by the way.

Marry someone you get along with, someone who doesn't cause you major problems in life, someone you can talk to, someone you respect. At least you will have someone there for you.

I just want to make this clear.

Just because someone does not excite you, it does not mean they're terrible people.

[Asker]

I will tell you what happens to people who never marry, don't live with family, never have anyone check up on them.

They drop dead at home, their bodies rot in stench for weeks or even MONTHS before anyone finds them.
If you die and you don't have any family to throw away your belongings, your landlord will throw away your things or even sell all your valuables.

I have seen it happen.

Its a sad way to die.

there are a lot of people who aren't even sure of who, or if anyone, will show up to their funeral.

I cannot imagine who the hell wants to live this way.

[Staximus]

If you don't love the guy then you shouldn't marry him.

[RxR0954]

Alright… at least love him as a bestfriend or a friend. If you feel like you don’t want even feel emotionally connected to this person but just want a family, don’t do it.

[Nikki1989]

I always wanted a husband, and I was prepared to wait for the right man for as long as necessary. Finally, it happened much sooner than I could have ever imagined.

[jazzy34]

Oh please don’t do that. You’ll be miserable and end up resenting your husband. Trust me, you do not want that. So please. Please don’t get married for the sake of being married.

[Asker]

no I don't resent my husband.

[Asker]

My husband is the one who has my back. He is my security and my rock.
If I wanted someone else, I can always have a short fling. But I would never ever leave my husband.

[jazzy34]

“If I wanted someone else, I can always have a short fling.”

But your husband is your security and your rock. 🙄 Girl, you need help. Serious help. At any rate, I’m done with this. Makes no sense to me and I’m not going to try to figure it out. Take care. 😊

[Asker]

@jazzy34

just because something doesn't rhyme with your version of "correctness", it does not mean it can't be done.

Marriage was never about love or romance for thousands of years, up until the past few decades.

[loveyouoak]

I'd rather stay single than marry a man I don't love, just to not be alone.

[jahaims]

You're an idiot