Last night he very sweetly asked me to spend this Christmas with his family- out of state. I don't want to. I adore his family and would be delighted to visit them any other time, but holidays with my family are very special to me. I feel that, since I am not married or engaged, I'm entitled to be selfish about spending holidays with my own family. I am totally cool with us spending holidays apart, with our respective clans.
Is there a non-douchey way to decline his invitation? I know the holiday-sharing starts for sure after marriage, but I kind of thought that was one of the perks of being single.
Most Helpful Guy
You aren't selfish, and if you were, I wouldn't point it out like some of the other people did. I understand that you want to spend time with your family, but your boyfriend has asked you to spend some time with his family. If he spent Christmas with your family, then it is only right that you spend time with his family too. Even though he couldn't go to his home state to be with his family because of his work schedule, he was willing to spend some time with your family, and it is only right to reciprocate.
Although I don't say that you are selfish for wanting to be with your family, you must realize that you have to take his wishes into consideration. Just because you are not married or engaged doesn't mean that you should treat this relationship differently than a marriage. Afford him the same respect that he gave you and your family.
Maybe this Christmas you could go with him to visit his family, and next Christmas, both families could get together. Would that solve anything?
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