The First Time I Used an Automatic Toilet: A Bit of Humor

Automatic toilets, they're sneaky machines that love to mess with you. They're the trolls in the bathroom. Well, they were until I got over it.

For someone like me who grew up with manual, the first time I saw one of these toilets was like I saw a dinosaur.

The First Time I Used an Automatic Toilet

I just turned tail and ran. Okay more like fast walk since if I ran out, other kids in 6th grade would make fun of me. I already got made fun of for my red hair (which was so rare back then) so I didn't want to add automatic toilet to the list.

I wondered why would there need to be such evil things in existence. I know how to flush the manual one, just push it and boom, done. But no, other people who didn't (and perhaps those who feared germs?) made these things come to be.

So, why was I scared of these? They were loud, and sometimes go off when you make the smallest flinch. It gargles and roars like you trespassed its territory.

Did I battle this fear I had? No way, they would win all the time. Even if I tried a sneaky way of going into the stall, it went off just by me opening the stall door. I thought for sure it was gonna rise up and get me. Hey Hollywood, there's an idea for you for a new horror film.

Because of that awful surprise flush, I didn't use them. I held it in until I got home. It was stupid so I quickly went to find out just how I could go to the bathroom without one of the damn things flush without my permission.

The help I sought came with blank faces and almost laughter. It sure wasn't a big problem for them so they told me that sooner or later, I would have to deal with it. Then came the joy that middle school came and it was all manual! Finally, I could flush when I chose and not some impatient toilet who wanted to hurry me up.

All was well...until freshmen year in high school. I could hear the violins screech as I looked eye to sensor. We met again. I stared at it some more before I finally turned around and locked the stall door. That's when it happened, the toilet flushed as if to say, "Ha! Got ya!"

I quickly got out of there and nor did I go there again. One of the teachers told me there was a hallway that was a bit of a way that had manual toilets. It was saving grace and I went there and back all the way throughout. One of my teachers though said that I couldn't keep doing that since the other building for sophomore's and senior's in high school didn't have manual.

That's when the record of "I Will Survive" screeched to a halt. What. What do you mean there will be no manuals?! What are these damn teens doing not flushing the toilets?!

I was so mad and so ready to give up at this point. So what if it flushed, so what if it was loud, damnit I will use it.

So I did. By putting a sweater over the sensor.

It worked.

The toilet didn't flush, it was perfect and also weird at the same time. But finally I found a solution! All I had to do was carry something thick enough to block out the sensor and all will be well.

Then, I had to go to the bathroom after a vacation with my parent and brother. They didn't seem like an automatic toilet but they were well behave, didn't flush, didn't rush, just let me do my business. I was shocked when I stood up and it gently flushed. What - where were these when I was at school? I felt very silly and I bragged to my mom about it, both of us sharing a laugh. I even went home and emailed my old teachers saying "Omg I got over it, yay!"

It was really silly, I feel embarrassed even now, and even though manuals are also loud like automatic toilets too, I just don't care anymore. I'm just glad I got over it.

So if you're afraid of these like I was, you aren't, and weren't, alone. Soon you will meet the gentle automatics who respect you and let you take your time.

#GaGWritingContest - Hope you enjoyed...somehow?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It made me smile, hope you don't get that wrong


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