10 Life Lessons The Voices In My Head Agree With... Kind Of

This started out, like most of my thoughts, as insane ramblings of a inebriated mind with occasional bouts of sober-ish-ness. But after looking over things and polishing up some of rants I figured why not share some Life Knowledge with y'all! So here are the ten gems I could sort out while sober.

1. Fucktardery:

Definition of a Fucktard; Someone who acts mentally challenged with no medical reason behind it. Yes we are all Human and prone to fucktardery and that's without drugs or booze. At some point in your life you will be the dumbest person in the room. It's okay, chances are you won't even notice it. Still if you do notice it, roll with it. You don't always have to be the smartest. Just try not to mind so much when it's someone else's turn.

2. Women?

I could talk for 3 days about them without sleep , on the verge of becoming mute, only to start writing for the rest of my life and it still couldn't explain anything to you. Just smile and do stuff with them, so you can do stuff to them.

3. Work kills:

You'll spend most of your life at work. It may behoove you to find something you enjoy doing and then see if you can get paid for it. If it stops being fun and becomes work, do something else before you get stuck.

4. Fun:

Have A Lot Of Fun! Find fun where ever you can! Life can be kinda dark sometimes and it can get to you so when you feel good, savor it! It will help sustain you if life gets a little dark or it gets filled with clowns... evil... creepy clowns.

5. Pictures:

No matter what your lot in life, if you mess up big enough the Media will Find and Use the Worst ever photo of you (The one you don't show ANYONE!) in their report. So take pictures seriously and destroy the bad ones... just in case...

6. Banks and Credit Cards:

They are quick to give you money when you don't need it, but won't lend it when you need it the most. But unless you're well off you'll have to deal with School, Car and House loans so Tread Carefully and Think before you Take. (Tip: Stay away from personal loans over a grand if you can.)

7. Driving:

Beware of Vans, Trucks and Vanity Plates. Minivans have Adults who don't like being trapped with their kids in a confined space and they will always speed. Delivery Vans have packages so they usually drive slow, unless they're running late. Truckers are either wired or tired give them a wide berth whenever possible. People with Vanity Plates have already proven their need to be the center of attention speed past them before they cause an accident!

8. Paper and Pens:

Always carry scraps of paper and a pen with you whenever possible. Something you can make notes on. It comes in very handy for notes to yourself, accidents and getting phone numbers from people. Smart Phones can get lost and Batteries can die, but the Pen and Paper combo is always immortal.

9. K.I.S.S.:

Meaning Keep It Simple. Stupid! Part of Human Nature is having a grand plan for everything. You'll get lost in the planning stage a lot if you don't ask yourself if you could make this task easier somehow. Just remember K.I.S.S. and go from there.

10. Imagine:

Step away from technology from time to time. We weren't made to look at screens 24/7. Take an hour out of your day, sit on the couch in the dark and Imagine something, Anything! As long as your not driving you're safe. I like to think that if you do this it will make you a more Open Minded person in general, make you more sane and limit anger. I have no proof of this, but 200% of the voices in my head agree with it. You know when they're not arguing about if they should feel odd when talking to someone, like barely two minutes after masturbating... Jury's still out on that.

pervertedjester is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Girl

  • lol "Pen and Paper" for this Master.
    Good luck and Thanks for Sharing Another Great One, hun. xx


Most Helpful Guy

  • 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, and 10. Particularly like 4, 9 and 10. I rather keep things simple instead of complex, unclear and confusing. 4 and 10 really goes together, as imagination is what keeps things fun and interesting for me. Coming up with new ideas, and brainstorming, being creative, that is all part of imagination.


Join the discussion

What Girls Said 2

  • These are cool, great tips 😂

  • Number 5 is my motto


What Guys Said 5

  • Hilarious stuff. :D

  • Good take

  • LOLZ, that video cracked me up

  • Welp. Even if you don't agree (and i agree with everything) it still makes for a fun read.

  • to me every is a life lesson, and the final exam, is on your birthday. What did you accomplish, what has been accomplish, what will you accomplish