My reflections on 46 years of life makes me write this. Not because I view myself as in any way wise. More through the flawed aspects that self-appraisal has brought home to roost.
A few thoughts;
1. The only thing in life that matters is health
This has two aspects in regards to both physical and mental health. I learnt this at a young age when my mum died of cancer when I was thirteen. The legacy was devastating for the loss. As well as the legacy it brought in the effect on mental health. This was most felt by my father who was destroyed by her loss and drank himself to death. He passed shy of my seventeenth birthday.
The lesson learnt is to not stress about things like love, money, power, popularity etc etc. The things that you have control over in life. You have no control over health and always need to pay it respect over everything else.
2. You can know the people you can rely on by looking at the fingers on your hand
You often have many people in your life. It often makes you think you have a vast support network. The reality is only known in a crisis where most stand out for their absence when you most need them. The fingers on your hand represent the very few people in your life that you can truly rely on. Most are family, and the thumb that is prominent near your fingers, your parents.
3. Tomorrow doesn’t exist
So many people live for the future. As embodied in the promise of tomorrow. It is a facade of reality that never arrives. For it is always ‘today’. The crux of this thought is to always live in the now in every regard. Tell the people that you love how much they mean to you. Go up to your boss and ask for the raise you so deserve. Embark on the adventure you have been holding off.
Embrace life to the full for tomorrow never comes, it is always today.
4. Choose your battles
Life is tough. Part of this is the many frustrations that exist in day to day living. This has been magnified by social media and the immediacy it has ushered in. Many potential confrontations are set up. You can choose to indulge in the many battles. Or, prioritise and only involve yourself in the battles that really matter. It keeps your stress levels down.
5. Ears are real, not painted on
Life is full of so many unexpected moments that change your being for the better. The key in this is actively listening to all. As well as not only hearing what they say, but also what they left unsaid. Most rarely if ever, truly listen, and hear.Which deprives them of pearls of wisdom that could alter their lives.
6. The facade of wisdom
People often attach wisdom to education which makes them overlook other truly wise people in other forms of life. This touches on the eternal debate over the merits of ‘book smarts’ as opposed to ‘street smarts’. The former has due respect shown to it whereas the latter has scant respect shown. The bottom line is you can have anyone bestow real wisdom on you.
‘Never look down on anyone, unless you are offering to help them up...’
Many see themselves as above, or below others. Which leads to judgments being made on others, or on yourself. This is a fundamentally flawed mindset on so many levels. The key point is all are born equal and deserve due respect. The accompanying reality is the unpredictability of life. That can see kings in palaces end in the gutter, the same as people from the gutter ending up in the boardroom.
Know, and respect this by always looking after your fellow human. As well as knowing you can always touch the stars in your life.
8. Love is a living entity
I was married for nearly 21 years. The main lesson I learnt is that love is a living entity. That relies on both of you to work hard to maintain it by nurturing it and tending to its needs. If you do, it stays vibrant and in full bloom as opposed to withering and dying. The lifeblood is honest and open communication that relies on expressing your true feelings along with showing empathy to your partners. It allows you to grow together as two feeling as one. Rather than fracturing to the point of feeling lonely within a relationship/marriage culminating in breakups.
9. Know when to cry for help
The last point probably makes you question why my marriage failed?
Key in this was having a lot of torment and tragedy in my childhood and burying it deep in denial. In my defence, there were few forums to find help for those in need when growing up in the 1970/80’s. As well as growing up in a traditional setting where 'boys never cried'.This had a profound effect on my adult being. For the hurt still existed despite years of denial. It was seen in glimpses that fractured relationships, and my marriage. For it never permitted me to give myself fully due to still having elements of being a scared and shocked little boy that lay prone in a coma position.
The bottom line is if you are hurting reach out for help. The world is so much more advanced now in helping people with all types of issues which allows you to deal with them and be more mentally able in life. Everyone deserves to be happy!
10. It is GAG- we need to touch on S.E.X
The key thought in this is how clueless men are about women, and S.E.X
A few points;
-Women are just as horny as men. Often more so!
-Women love directness from men. No need for games, or ‘playas’- be brave and tell them you ‘want them bad’ Even to the point of looking them dead in the eye and saying ‘I want to fuck you...’
- Rough sex is loved by women, the same as soft, gentle and passionate lovemaking.
-All about evoking a woman’s mind to turn her on. If you do, she is soaked before you even touch her
I could write a book on this, maybe I will at a later point :)
Peace to you all, and know life is an adventure to explore, rather than a problem to solve :)